The Stubborn Hand Of Fate by D.A. Kent

Captain Kathryn Janeway was sitting in the chair behind her desk in her Ready Room. Her head was against the headrest and her eyes were closed. It was quiet. Blessedly quiet.

This was her favorite place to be when she just wanted some time to think, to be alone. Thankfully, most of her senior staff understood that she didn't like to be bothered when she was in her Ready Room unless it was something important.

Just then, the door chime sounded. Kathryn lifted her head and sighed. Well, most people left her alone.

"Come."

Commander Chakotay, the father of her unborn child, entered the room and stood before her desk, padd in hand. He looked so serious that Kathryn suppressed the urge to smile.

"Commander," she said in greeting. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm here with a couple of reminders, Captain. First, B'Elanna is expecting you to join her in Engineering for a system's check at 15:00 hours." He paused, as Kathryn groaned inwardly. "In fact, here is B'Elanna's preliminary report on the warp core situation," he said, offering her the padd. "She thought you might want to take a look at this prior to your meeting."

Kathryn took the padd from him, and perused it briefly. She knew he wasn't here for this reason alone. But now B'Elanna's report had her attention. "Chakotay, did you look at this report?" She paused, as Chakotay nodded, managing to hide the smile that kept threatening to appear. "Do you understand now what I've been telling you? This ‘preliminary report' is eight pages long. It will take me longer to plow my way through this than it did for B'Elanna to actually do whatever it is she did to the warp core." Her frustration with B'Elanna's reports always amused Chakotay, but he had gotten pretty good at concealing it.

"Kathryn, I'm sure it's your imagination. B'Elanna dislikes writing any report, and I don't think she would spend more time writing one than she felt was necessary."

"Unless she thought it would keep me out of her hair for awhile." Kathryn stood from her chair and leaned over her desk until she was only a short distance away from Chakotay. "And don't think I don't know you get great pleasure from this," she said in a low voice, before turning away and moving up to the replicator.

Well, he thought he had gotten good at concealing it. It was tough to pull one over on Kathryn Janeway, though. Especially since she knew him so well.

"Coffee? Tea?" she asked, changing the subject, much to Chakotay's relief.

"Tea please."

Chakotay watched Kathryn as she ordered two cups of hot tea from the replicator. She was 10 weeks pregnant now, and even he couldn't tell a difference in her physical appearance. Occasionally, she seemed to lack a bit of patience where she usually had a great deal, and she tired a bit earlier most evenings, but other than that, she seemed to be holding together just fine.

But Chakotay kept an even closer watch over her than usual. This pregnancy hadn't happened in the usual way, and neither of them had been prepared for it at all. He still awakened in the middle of the night, wondering if he'd dreamt it.

And he also knew that Kathryn was good at completely ignoring the fact that she was pregnant when it came to her duties as Captain, and keeping her promise to get this crew home. He, in turn, was completely comfortable hiding behind the guise of his own duties as First Officer, and keeping his eye out for the safety of the ship's Captain even more than was customary. He simply would not allow her the latitude to take certain risks that she seemed destined to take periodically. He knew this might be the topic of a future argument between them, but he would deal with it when the time came. Kathryn Janeway didn't like answering to anyone, and it had been a long time since she had needed to. Six plus years in the Delta Quadrant, with Starfleet protocols embedded into the ship's computer system, normally left her plenty of room in which to navigate. She wouldn't take kindly to her First Officer interfering now.

The Doctor was expecting her for her 10-week check-up first thing in the morning, and Chakotay knew that Kathryn always forgot about it. If she remembered, she would already be complaining about having to see the Doctor tomorrow. But he was here to remind her now. He had learned that the longer she had to mentally prepare herself for her check-ups with the Doctor, the better those visits went.

Kathryn returned to her desk with two steaming cups of tea. She nodded to her First Officer, motioning him to sit down and relax. Even now, they had to stick to protocol. They both understood the importance of running the ship in the usual manner, without interruption. She put his cup in front of him, then took her own seat.

Ten weeks ago, on an Away Mission, the Captain and the Commander both beamed back to Voyager during the same transport. They were the last two to return from the mission, and during the beam-out a nearly undetectable spatial distortion somehow caused the Commander's DNA to impregnate the Captain. As slim as the chances were of this occurring, it nonetheless did.

The Doctor confirmed this explanation as being the only viable one, and his repeated tests and experiments proved it to be true. The fetus inside the Captain's womb was indeed comprised of DNA from both the Captain and her First Officer, and they had never made love with each other. Not that the thought hadn't entered both their minds on hundreds of occasions over the past six years.

The Captain of Voyager and her First Officer had never even kissed each other, yet the Captain had become pregnant with his child.

Chakotay had always believed that if a thing was intended to happen, it somehow would, even if it seemed an impossibility. And now, here was proof of that in front of his very eyes.

After several days, the senior staff had been informed of the pregnancy by the Captain during a routine staff meeting. They were told that the baby was expected, but were given no details about how it had happened. And two weeks after that, the other crewmembers were told about the Captain's condition. There was now more speculation than ever before about the Captain and the Commander, and their surprise relationship that no one had known about before. And the Doctor simply smiled smugly throughout everything. He and Tuvok were the only other crew members to know the true nature of the pregnancy, and how it had come about.

However, Kathryn and Chakotay were definitely becoming closer. Chakotay understood that Kathryn had to move at her own speed where their relationship was concerned, even though he had long been ready to admit to his love for her and to make a commitment to her. He accepted her hesitancy, though. She was doing the best she could, and better than he'd ever imagined she would be doing at this point.

While Chakotay was one to quickly accept whatever fate dealt him, Kathryn had a difficult time accepting anything that was not her choosing. In this way they were very different, but this time it didn't seem to matter. Chakotay was thrilled about this unborn child that belonged to the both of them. He continued to awaken some nights with his heart beating frantically, thinking that this was all just a dream that was driving him crazy with desire.

But then he would see Kathryn in the morning, and breathe a sigh of relief when he saw the new sparkle in her eyes, and the new awareness when she looked at him.

Chakotay knew that Kathryn had always wanted a child of her own, someday. But it had seemed that her "someday" might not ever come. And now this. What she didn't know was that he often had the same sort of feeling – that of never being a father. But long ago, he had stopped wanting to be a father to just any child, and only had visions of becoming a father to Kathryn Janeway's child.

"What?" she asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"I beg your pardon?"

She smiled. "You were a million kilometers away just now. Maybe even back in the Alpha Quadrant."

He returned her smile. "I was just thinking about the baby." He sipped his tea. Maybe Kathryn was no cook, but she could sure replicate a good cup of tea.

"You seem to do that a lot. Think about the baby." Her voice was soft. Sometimes she caught herself thinking about this man at all times of the day lately. And night.

"I can't help myself, Kathryn. I want this baby. I can see her in my mind's eye now. I know exactly what she will look like."

Kathryn shook her head, and told herself again how lucky she was. If some Higher Power had deemed it necessary to make certain she had a child, even if she hadn't slept with a man to make one, she was certainly glad it was Chakotay's.

Chakotay had much more easily accepted the news about this baby than she had, as she had known he would. It was still too much for her to bear at times, and if it wasn't for Chakotay's comforting presence and additional assistance with ship's duties, she thought she might go mad.

And Chakotay spoke to her of the child more often now. She knew he did this intentionally, in order to make the situation more real for both of them. It still felt strange at times to be pregnant with this child, without ever having had a physical and spiritual closeness with the father. And she found that the more Chakotay spoke of the baby, the more real all of this did become. When they were alone together these days, they spoke about the baby as much as they did about crew reports. Lately, Chakotay's excitement about this child was making it easier for her to imagine what she might be like.

"Tell me, what will she look like, Chakotay?" she asked in a whisper.

Chakotay looked up at her and smiled. "You," he said simply. "She will look like her Mother."

Kathryn laughed. "Well," she said, "I've asked you that question three times in the past month, and you've answered it the same way each time. I'm beginning to believe you."

"Believe me, Kathryn," he answered softly. "She will have the most beautiful blue-grey eyes in the universe, next to her Mother's, and she will have lovely light brown hair with auburn highlights, like her Mother. Her hair will shine when the light hits it, and her eyes will sparkle with warmth and affection. She will command any room she walks into without even knowing it." He paused, and looked into Kathryn's eyes. "Perhaps she's even destined to be the Captain of a starship."

Kathryn was quiet, looking at this incredible man. Suddenly, her eyes began to fill with tears, and she quickly stood and moved away from the desk. "I hope not," she said softly. "I don't wish that responsibility upon her." Then she said in a quieter tone. "Perhaps a junior science officer. That's much safer."

She had her back to him, and was staring up and out of the viewport, and Chakotay stood and moved to her. "Kathryn."

She looked down, but did not turn toward him. 

Chakotay stood behind her and gently put both his hands on her shoulders. "Kathryn. Look at me."

But the Captain didn't move. She didn't want him to see her face. Damnit, she was a Starfleet Captain, and Starfleet Captains didn't cry. It must be this damned pregnancy. Things seemed to affect her so much lately, and she absolutely hated being emotional.

"Kathryn."

Finally, she couldn't bear to hear the plea in Chakotay's voice any longer. Kathryn sighed, then turned toward him. Fine. Let Chakotay see that she was nearly crying. Maybe now he would leave her alone.

But instead, when she turned and looked into his face, he smiled at her in a way that made her heart leap. He looked at her with such open love and adoration, and she suddenly had no idea what she'd done to deserve a man like this as the father of her child.

And now, as they looked deeply into each other's eyes, Kathryn felt her heart soar. This man could do to her what no man had done before. He could make her forget everything when she looked at him. It might not be a good thing for a ship's captain to be feeling this way, but Kathryn Janeway needed this feeling desperately.

Chakotay gently pulled her into his arms and held her against his chest, hoping she wouldn't move away. He wrapped his arms around her back and rested his cheek against the top of her head. He sighed deeply, breathing her scent, and waited for Kathryn's response.

But, to Chakotay's surprise, Kathryn relaxed against his chest and slowly brought her arms up and around his waist. Then she snuggled in closer to him. It wasn't in any way an obvious snuggle, not from Kathryn Janeway. It was as subtle as a snuggle could be, but Chakotay felt it nonetheless. He smiled into her hair, as he heard a faint sigh escape her lips. And he knew that he was the luckiest man alive. He now had everything he'd ever dreamed of, Kathryn Janeway in his arms and a baby on the way. All those other things that they lacked now would come about in time. And time was the one thing he had to give in abundance.

Kathryn closed her eyes, allowing herself to be engulfed by this wonderful man. How she longed for this closeness at times. Sometimes she was so lonely at night, she would get up at 03:00 hours and read until it was time to get ready for her duty shift on the Bridge.

Kathryn sighed softly, and Chakotay grazed her hair with his lips. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing in the scent of her, this woman he had loved for so long.

After a short while, Kathryn forced herself to think about the present, and the fact that they were in her Ready Room, during alpha shift. This was not an after hours moment in either of their quarters. Things which took place in her Ready Room during alpha shift should involve ship's business, and she had to make sure she didn't mix the two distinct parts of her life. This was the only way she was going to remain sane at all in the months, and years, ahead. Maybe someday she would be able to reconcile these two parts of her life into one part, one complete part, but she wasn't able to do that just yet.

Gently, Kathryn pushed herself away from Chakotay, and she sensed, more than saw, his reluctance to let her go. She understood the feeling. It had felt so good to just enjoy the moment, and his embrace.

"Chakotay," she said softly, "we need to get back to work."

Chakotay nodded briefly. He understood her hesitance, but she had given him more than he could have hoped for just now. She had allowed him to hold her for a moment, for no reason at all.

Moving to a chair in front of the Captain's desk, Chakotay sat, then picked up his now cold cup of tea and took another sip. Nothing had ever tasted better.

Kathryn smiled to herself. He was so kind and good. Chakotay never pushed her, never forced her to make choices she wasn't prepared to make. He was content to take what came, and make the best of things. Yet this man wasn't one to sit back and let others speak for him, or make decisions for him. And, as the gods only knew, he most certainly wasn't afraid to let his Captain know when he thought she was wrong about something.

Moving back to her chair, Kathryn sat slowly. Chakotay's arms had felt so good around her, and she wasn't usually one to like the feeling of being protected, being cared for. But this man could certainly bring out things inside her she wasn't accustomed to feeling. And some things she thought she had forgotten how to feel.

". . . Kathryn?"

"I'm sorry, Chakotay. I was woolgathering. What did you say?"

Chakotay smiled, but didn't answer immediately.

"What?" she asked again.

"That is such an old-fashioned expression coming from a 24th century woman, that's all."

She returned his smile, and took a sip of her own tea. "Hmm. I must have picked it up some place." Then she changed the subject, and turned back to the work at hand. Kathryn knew how to be efficient; it was one of the reasons she had risen through Starfleet Academy so quickly. That and the fact that she was smarter and more determined than most people.

Sighing heavily, she picked up B'Elanna's engineering report and looked at Chakotay pointedly. "What shall I do with this?"

"I'll make a deal with you. I'll take care of that and deal with all the Engineering problems today, including meeting with B'Elanna at 15:00 hours. I'll also return to Bridge duty right now, if you promise to finish up the rest of the necessary reports by 17:00 hours and call it a day. If there is anything important left over, I'll help you to complete it first thing tomorrow morning."

"It's a deal," answered Kathryn quickly, as she immediately handed Chakotay the padd he had brought in to her earlier.

"I walked right into that one, didn't I?" asked Chakotay, taking the padd from her hand.

"Ran is more like it," she quipped, smiling.

Chakotay stood, and took a deep breath. "I'd better get busy then, Captain. It'll take me some time to get through this report."

"Understood, Commander," she said, then looked away from him in silent dismissal.

As Chakotay moved toward the doors, Kathryn turned toward him again. "Commander?"

Chakotay stopped and turned to her. "Captain?"

"If you don't have plans for this evening, I'd be willing to use some of my replicator rations for a nice meal for the two of us."

Chakotay grinned. "I'd like that."

"Good. 19:00 hours." She turned away once more. "I need to get to bed early tonight. My appointments with the Doctor go much better if I'm well rested."

"You actually remembered your appointment for tomorrow morning?" he asked, incredulously.

"Absolutely not," she replied, studying something on her computer screen. "The Doctor has already reminded me twice today." And, as Chakotay turned to leave once more, she added, "And you might want to let him know that it would be in his best interests not to mention it further."

She hadn't looked at him when she said it, but Chakotay knew she meant it. And she knew he would speak to the Doctor about it. Well, if that's all it took to keep peace between Kathryn and the Doctor, he was willing to do his part. "Aye, Captain," he said in his best Commander's voice, willing it to sound professional, with no trace of lightheartedness. He turned again to retreat to the Bridge.

"And, Commander?"

He turned. "Captain?"

"Was there something else?" Chakotay gave her a blank look, and she reminded him, "Earlier, you said you had a couple of reminders for me."

Suddenly it dawned on Chakotay. He had intended to remind her of her early morning appointment with the Doctor. "Uh, no, nothing that I can remember off-hand, Captain. I, uh, think we've covered everything."

"Good." She turned away again, as Chakotay hurried out the doors of her Ready Room. Kathryn smiled to herself. So he thought she didn't know he had come to remind her of her Doctor's appointment tomorrow! If she hadn't known it before, the guilty look on Chakotay's face just now would certainly have told her the truth of the matter.

The Captain leaned back in her chair and rested her head on the headrest just as she had been doing before her First Officer interrupted her earlier. She had another moment or two to spare.

And for the next several minutes, Kathryn Janeway relaxed with a smile on her face as she thought about a very special man who had recently become an even more important part of her life than ever before.

At 18:40 hours, Kathryn Janeway was in her quarters, setting the table for dinner. She had a replicated meal well under control, which she thought she was getting better at doing. She was wearing a dressing gown, which she rarely ever did, but she hadn't wanted to soil her clothing while she was preparing dinner.

Kathryn knew Chakotay would wear something casual this evening. They had both taken to wearing civilian attire when they spent time together in the evenings, except when they met to work on reports, or other ship's business. It had become a customary thing now, without either of them actually mentioning it. Perhaps they were trying, in their own ways, to discover the possibilities of setting new parameters for their personal relationship.

After setting the table, she moved quickly into her bedroom and opened her closet door. She pulled out the lightweight beige slacks and matching sweater that she had chosen earlier in the evening to wear, and slipped off her dressing gown. Laying the garments on her bed, she glanced at herself in the mirror against the far wall. She seemed to be doing this a lot lately. She wore only her bra and panties, and neither were standard Starfleet issue. Tonight she wanted to feel like a woman and not a Starfleet Captain.

Kathryn really dreaded gaining weight. She didn't think the Captain of a starship should waddle around the Bridge and crawl through the Jeffries tubes with a huge stomach in front of her. She sighed. Well, she wouldn't have to worry about that; she was quite certain her First Officer and the Doctor wouldn't allow her out of their sight by then, much less allow her to crawl through a Jeffries tube, or anywhere else, for that matter.

Pulling the slacks on, she was relieved to find that they still fit, even if she needed to suck in her breath to get the top button done, but they were still comfortable enough to wear.

After she slipped the sweater over her head, she stepped into a pair of low beige sandals, and was running a brush through her hair, when she heard the buzzer sound in the other room. Quickly, she added a bit of lipstick, and moved into the outer room.

"Come," she called, feeling ridiculously like a schoolgirl. This was crazy. This was Chakotay, her First Officer, for goodness' sake! This was someone she saw every single day.

But then Chakotay entered, wearing loose-fitting black slacks with a black and tan sweater, and her heart stopped for a moment. Gods, he was handsome. And he carried a small bouquet of wildflowers with him.

Chakotay walked directly up to Kathryn, handed her the bouquet and stooped to quickly kiss her cheek.

As she turned away from him, Chakotay grinned. He was certain he had seen her blush.

"What are these for?" she asked, moving away from him.

"For being the mother of my child."

She turned to him. "I didn't exactly have a choice in the matter, remember?"

"Vaguely. But that memory is growing dimmer all the time." Chakotay looked at her and thought how beautiful she looked tonight, and how nice the colourful wildflowers looked against her skin and the beige outfit she was wearing.

Kathryn smiled. "Hmm . . . you don't mean that one day you're going to actually think we planned for this to happen, do you?"

"I might."

"Really? Well, it'll be a bit more difficult for me to suspend belief, since we've never . . ." but then she stopped suddenly, realizing how easily the conversation was heading into nearly uncharted territory.

"Made love with each other?"

Kathryn looked into his eyes quickly, and a shiver ran through her body. My, how easily he'd said those words. She turned away just as quickly and busied herself with putting the flowers into a small vase she had found, and then putting it in the center of the table she had set earlier.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay said the words softly, gently, but she couldn't answer. It suddenly seemed that her throat was closing.

Chakotay sighed and moved to her easily. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. "Kathryn, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I apologize."

Kathryn looked up into his eyes, knowing she wouldn't allow him to think something that wasn't true. "You didn't make me feel uncomfortable," she said softly. "I was just thinking of one particular evening a couple of weeks ago."

"And?" he asked, knowing precisely which evening she was referring to.

"I do believe we've made love," she whispered. "Or, you've made love to me, certainly."

"Kathryn . . ." Chakotay's voice was tight, and he looked down and closed his eyes. How well he remembered that evening!

Two weeks prior Chakotay had given Kathryn a backrub in her quarters and had suddenly found himself lying beside her on the bed. He had touched her body gently, had moved her bathrobe away from her breasts and then caressed them lovingly. He had been completely enthralled with this woman, once again. She had trusted him for years now, he knew that. But on this night she had trusted him in a way that she had never done before; she had allowed him to caress her to the point of climax.

And that night, he had fallen in love with her all over again.

"It was quite an incredible experience, actually," she was saying, in a low voice.

Chakotay looked back into her eyes and saw a twinkle there, and her mouth was turned up on one side with that silly little grin of hers that he loved so much.

"Yes it was," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "It certainly was."

Kathryn looked at this man in front of her. Her heart was beating so fast and so loudly, she knew he had to hear it. But he just looked into her eyes with that look of adoration he was allowing her to see more and more lately, when they were alone.

Taking a deep calming breath, and letting it out slowly, Kathryn took that one last step forward and into Chakotay's arms. She didn't know why she did it, yet she knew it was time. She tilted her head slightly and moved her mouth to within an inch of his. "Are you very hungry just now, Chakotay? Or is it all right if we eat dinner . . . later?" she whispered in the sexiest voice he'd ever heard.

"Later," Chakotay heard himself croak. "Later . . ." he repeated, as his mouth gently covered hers. And the last thing he remembered thinking was how tiny she felt in his arms. As Captain, she had the most commanding presence he had ever known, but in actuality, he could very easily engulf her into his arms.

Chakotay tried to prevent his body from touching Kathryn's directly, not wanting her to feel his erection press into her. But Kathryn moved against him, hesitantly, and then more firmly as she felt his hardness against her stomach. She groaned, slightly at first, and then suddenly with more passion. Her breath became more ragged as Chakotay parted her lips gently with his tongue. He caressed the inside of her mouth lovingly and when he finally found her tongue, he felt her shudder in his arms. She was absolutely incredible, and his body was responding to her every movement.

"Kathryn . . ." Finally, he placed his hands on her shoulders and forced himself to pull away from her. The last thing he needed to do was to misinterpret a sign, or to assume something from Kathryn without being absolutely certain.

But when he looked into her eyes he saw a certainty there that he'd never seen before – and a desire. There was no other way to describe it: There was desire in Kathryn's eyes. Her pupils were dilated and her lips were slightly swollen from his kiss, and he couldn't help but think this was the first time he'd ever seen her hair so mussed. And she had never looked so sexy. His heart leapt, and his own breath became laboured, just from looking at her.

"Kathryn," he tried again, willing his voice not to falter, "either serve me dinner now or throw me out of here."

But she looked at him calmly, and whispered, "Is there a third choice?"

Chakotay closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He held it for a moment, then let it out slowly, before opening his eyes again. And when he did open his eyes, he realized that she had watched him and knew exactly what he was doing. He was buying time, time to allow himself to slow down, to act and think rationally. But when Kathryn smiled at him, every moment of rationality he had bought in that instant evaporated entirely.

"Come with me," she said softly, as she stepped away from him and took his hand. She paused a moment to let him see the resolve in her eyes before turning to lead him to her bedroom.

Chakotay followed, though not blindly. He knew exactly what he was doing, and now he knew that Kathryn was ready to make love with him, too. This was something he had only dreamed about for longer than he could remember. Suddenly, he could remember no life before Voyager, before seeing this woman on the viewscreen of his Maquis vessel. He had looked for Kathryn his entire life, never dreaming he would actually find her, never really believing in his heart that she existed. And when he did find her, finally, his desire that they come together had been dashed repeatedly.

Then she had become pregnant with his child, through a nearly impossible Act of Fate. Or, perhaps the Spirits had finally decided to give him a break, after all.

When they reached her bed, Kathryn turned to him again and dropped his hand. He suddenly felt the absence of her touch, and looked into her eyes. What he saw there warmed him again, and brought him back to the present.

He took a step and closed the distance between them. Then he moved his hands to her face slowly, and touched her lips with his thumbs. "Kathryn . . ." he said, wanting to say so much more, yet knowing there were no words for what he felt in his heart.

"Do you want to make love with me, Chakotay?" Kathryn whispered to him.

"More than I want to live until tomorrow," he said, not realizing until too late that he had actually said the words aloud.

But Kathryn only smiled at him. "I didn't intend it to be a multiple choice question," she said to him with that sexy tone in her voice, and a smile on her lips. But then, after a moment, the smile faded, and she moved her hands to Chakotay's sweater. "I've cared for you longer than you know, Chakotay, much longer than you know." Then she deftly moved his sweater up over his chest, where he allowed her to pull it over his head, and drop it to the floor. Kathryn continued to look into his eyes, letting him know she wanted to do this. And that look was all it took.

Chakotay lowered his face to hers and kissed her fully on the mouth. He brought his hands to her sweater and removed it just as quickly, moving his mouth away from hers just long enough to pull her sweater over her head. She moaned softly into his mouth, savouring the feel of his tongue against hers, and the warmth of his hands against her body as he began removing the rest of her clothing, piece by piece.

Chakotay undid her pants quickly and pushed them down her hips, where they lay in a puddle at her feet. "Step out of your shoes," he managed to whisper into her mouth, and as she began to do so, he lifted her gently at the waist and moved her away from the pile of clothing that was forming on the floor.

Kathryn's arms were wrapped around his neck and, as they continued to kiss, she knew that tonight she was completely at the mercy of this wonderful man who made her glad to be a woman. And she was definitely a woman tonight, and not a Starfleet Captain.

Chakotay dropped his own pants to the floor and kicked his dark moccasins out of the way as he took Kathryn in his arms and lay her gently on the bed. He looked at her for a brief moment, and wondered again how he had managed to get so lucky, before lying next to her. They were both now wearing only their underwear. He knew that his erection was obvious, but he was going to savour every moment of this experience for the rest of his life.

"Nice underwear for a Starfleet Captain," he whispered in her ear.

With her eyes closed, and feeling Chakotay's breath on her neck, Kathryn smiled softly and replied, "Not tonight. I don't want to be Captain tonight."

"You'll always be Captain, Kathryn. That is who you are." Kathryn opened her eyes and looked into his, seeing more love there than she could ever have imagined. "But you are also much more than that. You're an incredible woman, Kathryn, and I love you very much."

Kathryn felt tears well up in her eyes, but they were soon forgotten as Chakotay began to slowly move his hands over her body, as she murmured her approval of his every touch. Gods, what this man did to her! She felt his breath on her neck and arms and knew that her nipples were taut and firm beneath the bra that he was just slipping away from her breasts. She heard him take a sharp intake of breath, and opened her eyes to look at his face once again.

"You're so beautiful, Kathryn," Chakotay whispered, realizing that she had heard him. "I tell myself that you can't become more beautiful tomorrow than you are today, but you've proved me wrong for a very long time. The woman before me now is even more beautiful than the woman who appeared on my viewscreen many years ago."

"Chakotay," she whispered, "you'd better be careful with those compliments, or I might start believing some of them."

Chakotay smiled. "Believe them. I would never lie to you."

Kathryn's smile disappeared and she lifted her right hand to caress his face. "I know. You're still my knight in shining armor."

"Still?"

"You have been since the day I saw YOU on MY viewscreen."

"You'll have to tell me about that someday."

"Never." She smiled again, and he kissed her hand.

Chakotay looked down at her breasts, so full and lovely, and her nipples were hard and straining toward him. He leaned his head slowly down toward her breast and Kathryn arched her back slightly, bringing her breast up closer to his mouth. And as he closed his mouth over her nipple, Kathryn shuddered slightly and moaned.

He flicked his tongue across her nipple and sucked gently, causing her to gasp and then moan again. Chakotay moved his hand to her other breast and softly teased that nipple with his fingertip, all the while loving the sounds of pleasure coming from Kathryn. He lifted his mouth from her breast then, but continued to lick it, around the nipple and down under it, then after a moment, he continued his journey downward, to her navel.

Kathryn moaned again, and moved against those wonderful hands and that incredible mouth that was making her body react in a way it hadn't done in years. In fact, she was feeling things she wasn't sure she had ever felt to this degree. As she felt Chakotay's tongue move inside her navel, she gasped loudly, and suddenly wondered how much more of this incredible pleasure she could take. And she suddenly wanted to feel him inside her in the worst way.

"Chakotay," she panted, "Please . . ."

But that's as far as she got, before Chakotay moved her panties down her legs and tossed them onto the floor. "Kathryn . . ." he whispered her name softly, as he parted her legs with his hands and moved his head lower to slip his tongue inside her.

She heard herself gasp his name as he moved his tongue deeper inside her, teasing her, tasting her. And as she reached her hands down between her legs and buried them in his hair, he moved up a bit further, up to her clitoris, and gently took it between his lips.

Chakotay felt her buck up against him, crying his name, wanting release, but he wasn't ready to give it to her, not yet. He teased her firm nub for only a moment, but then he moved back up her body the same way he had moved down it a few minutes before.

But now, Kathryn's body was completely in suspense, and her breath was coming out in small gasps. Her nipples were still erect, and she grabbed his shoulders as he neared her mouth, rising up to meet his mouth with hers. She forced his mouth open with her tongue, and Chakotay felt a shiver run up his back. She was tasting herself from his mouth, and as he kissed her back with all the passion he had saved for her through the years, he suddenly felt her hand grasp his penis.

Chakotay gasped, and moved his mouth to her ear, holding on to her as though his life depended upon it. "Kathryn, don't. I can't hold out much longer," he managed to say.

"Neither can I," she panted, as she gently moved his underwear down between them, over his bulging erection and down his legs, then straight to the floor with the rest of the clothing piled there.

Then she looked into his eyes with such incredible longing that Chakotay felt his heart skip a beat. How very long he had waited to see this look on her face when she gazed into his eyes. But now he knew the wait had been worth it.

Kathryn moved her hand to his penis again and felt its bulging hardness in her small hand, as she felt Chakotay hold his breath, willing himself to have the patience to satisfy Kathryn first. But Kathryn guided him down to her opening, moving her legs apart as much as possible. "Now, Chakotay," she gasped, "Please, don't make either of us wait any longer."

As he plunged deep inside her, she bucked up to take him firmly into her, and as he increased the pace of moving in and out of her, he closed his eyes and enjoyed each and every new feeling that being with this woman was awarding him.

Suddenly, he felt her strain upward one last time, and she wrapped her legs high up across his back, as her body began to convulse. "Chakotay," she cried aloud, and he placed his hands beneath her hips and hugged her to him, holding on to her body and to the sound of his name on her lips as she climaxed around him. Never before had he felt the love he knew at this moment.

Chakotay continued to move inside her, as he watched her face transform beneath him. Kathryn's eyes were closed, and she was panting wildly. But her face was flushed and small droplets of moisture had gathered just above her upper lip. Chakotay smiled as he watched all the strain of the last few weeks and months drain from her face.

As Kathryn's heartbeat slowed, and her breathing began to return to normal, she opened her eyes, he kissed her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her chest. She moved in time with his body, pushing hers against his as he continued to thrust inside her. And as he suddenly felt his body explode, he pressed hard into her, and she withdrew her lips from his and whispered, "I love you" into his ear.

Chakotay emptied himself into her, hearing those precious words, and knowing that Kathryn Janeway was the only woman who could satisfy his every need. As stubborn and damnable as she could sometimes be, she was the only woman who could move him.

As he relaxed his hold on her, he lowered his face to her neck and allowed himself to ease the bulk of his weight to Kathryn's left. Chakotay sensed both their breathing returning slowly to normal, and he started to move away, but Kathryn held him firmly against her.

"No," she said softly. "Don't go."

Chakotay smiled against her neck. "I'm not going anywhere, Kathryn. Now that you've captured me in your lair, I belong to you forever. Whatever your desire, I'll do my best to fulfill it." He felt her smile.

"Hmm. If only my enemies were so easy to convince."

They lay in comfortable silence for a time, both completely relaxed and free of the burdens of command, which was a rare thing indeed.

And as Kathryn began to fall asleep, she automatically rolled a bit to her right, and Chakotay wrapped his arms around her waist from behind her, after pulling the Starfleet issue sheets up over their bodies. He sighed, feeling fully sated for the first time in his life. He had never made love so fully, because he had never made love with someone he cared about as much as he cared for Kathryn Janeway. And as he, too, began to fall asleep, he automatically moved his hand to her stomach, knowing that their baby was safe and sound inside her mother's womb.

Sometime later, Chakotay began to awaken. He felt a wonderful sensation, and his heartbeat quickened. He gasped as his eyes flew open, and he found himself looking into Kathryn's beautiful blue-grey eyes, and then he remembered where he was. She had turned in his arms, and was now facing him. He also felt an incredible warmth spread throughout his body as he felt Kathryn's hands gently caressing his already stiff erection.

"Careful . . ." he moaned.

"Or what?" she whispered, fully awake. "Tell me what you'll do." Her voice was so sexy, so confident. This was one of the things he loved about this woman. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, who she was.

Chakotay pushed himself deeper into her hands. "I'll . . ."

"Yes?"

"I can't think very well right now, Kathryn," he said, his breath coming out in small gasps.

"Hmm. Then perhaps I need to help out a bit. Do you mind?" But before Chakotay could answer her, she rolled him onto his back as she lifted herself up and onto his chest, then sat up, straddling him just below the waist.

"Kathryn," was all he could say. His mind couldn't think, he was so aroused that he only knew he was with Kathryn, finally with Kathryn. But he wrapped his hands around her hips and, as she lifted herself up, he moved his erection under her, then deep inside her, as she moved into place above him. They both gasped as he pushed himself as far as he could inside her.

Kathryn matched his thrusts as she rode him, already comfortable in the way their bodies fit together, and Chakotay watched her breasts move up and down with their rhythm. He raised his hands to her breasts and gently fondled her nipples until she was gasping and moaning his name. Her eyes were closed, and her head fell back as she pressed her breasts into his hands and began to respond to his thrusts with more urgency.

"Chakotay . . ." she gasped.

"Let go, Kathryn, come to me," he coaxed, feeling that his own time of release was very near. Just watching her like this was nearly enough to make him achieve orgasm in itself. He felt his erection press deep inside her body, and he released her breasts and grabbed her hips again as he pushed faster and harder inside her.

"Ohhhh . . . Chakotay . . ."

Chakotay felt Kathryn push forward one final time, then he felt her body spasm and jerk around him. He had never felt this way before. And, watching her, seeing her find her release, he found his. Chakotay pushed himself deep inside her again with one final thrust, and then he let himself go with abandon. He released his entire soul inside her.

"Kathryn," he shouted her name aloud.

Both their bodies shuddered, and their breathing was ragged, but they stayed that way until they could both catch their breath.

As their heartbeats and breathing began to return to normal, Kathryn leaned forward and lay flat on Chakotay's chest. She managed to keep his penis inside her, not willing to release it just yet.

"That was pretty incredible," he managed.

Kathryn smiled and laughed softly against his chest. "It's been a long time for me, you know. I have a lot to make up for."

"Oh, but I happen to know of a holodeck program or two . . ." he began, but Kathryn gently lay a hand over his mouth.

"No more," she whispered against his ear. "Nothing, and no one else, can compare to this." And then she kissed him softly, easily, and the kiss grew longer and more passionate, until Kathryn broke it off. "I nearly forgot," she said.

"About what?" His breath was coming in quick gasps; he was completely under the control of Kathryn Janeway.

"I haven't fed you dinner yet," she said sweetly.

Chakotay smiled. "Oh, but you have, Kathryn. Dinner and dessert."

"Good," she returned his smile. "I may be the only person in history who knows how to ruin a replicated meal."

"Ah, but your talents lie elsewhere."

"Really?"

"You're an incomparable Captain and an incredible lover. One could hardly expect you to be a fine cook, too."

"Hmm. I'll remember that, you know," she said. "I'm sure I'll need to remind you of those words someday."

"Doubtful. Highly doubtful."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I've known for years that you can't cook. Yet have I ever complained?

But she was quiet.

"Kathryn?" he asked and pulled back to look into her face.

"No, you've never complained," she answered softly.

"Because I've had nothing to complain about," he said. And he kissed her again, and pulled her body close against his.

Voyager's First Officer had seen many things, and felt many things, that few people had experienced before. He had seen some of the Spirits' finest works, gazed at some of the loveliest star systems and nebulas, and witnessed some of the most incredible phenomena that had ever existed. But nothing compared to the bliss, to the feeling of belonging, that he was experiencing tonight. Nothing was as good as the feel of Kathryn Janeway's body against his.

Not half an hour later, Kathryn awoke, silently rose from her bed and looked at the sleeping form still lying in her bed. She smiled. Her child's father, her lover, and her First Officer. How this was all going to come together she just didn't know. But she was slowly beginning to accept the fact that she didn't have to know everything. And this was something entirely new for Kathryn Janeway. She always had to feel in control, and just now she didn't. But she was learning to be more comfortable with that thought.

Whatever would happen, would happen. She would deal with problems as they arose, as she had done for so long now. No, they would deal with problems as they arose. She was no longer alone. She had met her soulmate so long ago, and right here on Voyager. Who could have known?

She smiled gently at the sleeping man in her bed, and sighed softly. She reached for her robe on the chair next to the bed, then moved into the living area of her quarters. As was her habit, she moved toward the viewport and looked out into the darkness, gazing at the unfamiliar star systems in the distance.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen a familiar star system. She was much more familiar with the unfamiliar ones nowadays. She put on her robe and pulled the belt tight around her.

Kathryn sighed. There was so much to do, always so much to do. She moved to the replicator and quietly ordered a hot tea blend, then noticed the small bouquet of flowers that Chakotay had brought her earlier in the evening. She smiled and shook her head. He had known how to make her blush, damn him! No one else had the power to do that to her.

Chuckling to herself, Kathryn took her cup of tea and walked over to the flowers that still sat in the middle of the unused table. She lifted them to her nose and sniffed, filling her senses with the sweet smells, and trying to capture them inside her head forever.

Then she lay them back down and looked at a padd that was lying next to the table. Tuvok's latest tactical analysis. She had intended to read this earlier, but time had gotten away from her.

Kathryn moved quietly up to the couch under the viewport, the padd in one hand and her cup of tea in the other. She had never felt so happy. All was right with the world.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay spoke her name softly, opened his eyes and sat up in bed. She wasn't there, but he was definitely in her bed. At least he knew he hadn't dreamed the entire evening.

"Kathryn." He spoke her name softly, then lay back on the bed. Would he ever tire of her name? No, he knew he wouldn't. And he smiled softly in the dark. Where was she? He moved quietly off the bed and searched through the pile of clothing on the floor, with a smile on his face. He found his underwear and slipped it on, then moved to the doorway without making a sound.

Then he saw her.

Kathryn was sitting on the couch with her feet up in front of her, backlit from the soft light coming in from the viewport. She was drinking something from a cup and reading from a padd. He smiled. This was a scene he had witnessed more times than he could ever begin to remember in the past few years – this woman at work, trying to get her crew back home. And she would; he knew she would. But now, just watching her, he felt his heart soar again. She was as intense in lovemaking as she was in everything else she did.

He stepped slowly into the room, not wanting to startle her. "Kathryn," he said softly. She looked up and smiled.

"Come," she smiled, and held her hand toward him.

He walked up to the couch, and he could feel her eyes watching him, checking his every move, looking at his body. When he sat at the other end of the couch, he reached out and took her feet and put them in his lap, rubbing them gently. She put her cup of tea on the table in front of her and took a deep breath. She lay back against the headrest of the couch and relaxed completely as Chakotay massaged her feet.

"Ohhh, that feels sooo good," she said.

Chakotay smiled. He was beginning to realize that Voyager's Captain really did like to be pampered. She just didn't want anyone to know it.

The padd she had been reading dropped from her lap to the floor and her robe slipped a bit and fell open from her knees.

"What's that?" Chakotay asked, gesturing to the padd.

"Tuvok's latest report," she stated, simply. "Oh, there. Yesss, that feels wonderful."

Chakotay continued to rub her feet, and Kathryn closed her eyes and simply enjoyed being catered to. Her robe fell open a bit more and Chakotay felt his heartbeat accelerate. How could this be, he asked himself. He wasn't as young as he used to be, yet this woman's very presence excited him. It always had, really. He had worked for years to push his attraction for her behind him. That's where she wanted it, and that's where it had been. The parameters had been set long ago.

But now things had changed. She was carrying his child. But that wasn't all, Chakotay knew. If Kathryn Janeway did not have feelings for him, she would not allow him into her life at all, much less allow him to touch her body. And she had told him she loved him. This made all the difference.

"Hmm . . ." Kathryn's pleasure made him smile. She began to writhe on the couch, slightly, not much, but Chakotay could tell that she was beginning to feel aroused. After the evening they had already shared, he couldn't believe what was happening before his very eyes.

Chakotay slowly began to move his hands up her legs as he stroked them, and he watched as Kathryn slowly began to spread her legs, giving him access to her fully. His heartbeat continued to increase as he watched her. Her head was still back against the headrest and her eyes were shut. She was moaning softly and his hands moved with purpose and care.

Chakotay gently loosened the belt on her robe and moved the folds away from her body. He saw her nipples harden under his gaze, in the chilled air, and he turned slowly on the couch and moved closer to her body, watching as she opened her legs even further, inviting him to come closer still.

As he moved his hands up the inside of her thighs slowly, her moans increased and her breathing became more ragged. He moved closer and closer to her most private parts, and as he did so, her sounds increased. Kathryn moved her legs even further apart, and Chakotay leaned forward and gently touched her clitoris with his tongue. Her body reacted to his touch as she cried out his name and reached for him.

But Chakotay lifted his head and gently moved her hands aside. He touched his fingers to where his lips had been and felt her move against him, urging him on. He slowly, easily, moved first one and then two fingers inside her and she moaned again and thrust against his hand. Then Chakotay inserted a third finger inside her and her breathing became even more laboured and she pushed harder, more furiously, against his hand.

Chakotay leaned over her and took her right nipple into his mouth and sucked it gently as he continued to move his fingers inside her. Kathryn moved against his hand faster and faster, and held his head to her breast with her hands, entangling them in his hair.

Finally, when Chakotay knew she was near climax, he moved back to watch her. She arched her back at the same time she slammed into his hand once more, and he felt her muscles begin to contract around his fingers, as her body began to shudder. He didn't want it to be like this, he had to be with her, had to share this with her, and he moved his hand away as he gently lowered himself and thrust his tongue inside her. He felt her spasms as they engulfed him, and he felt the walls of her vagina tighten around him. And finally, he tasted her juices as they rolled onto his waiting tongue. He had never tasted anything so wonderful, nor experienced anything so fully. And as he drank her liquid, she wound her hands in his hair and pulled him even more deeply in to her.

As her spasms began to subside, Kathryn released her hold on Chakotay. He moved his tongue out of her and flicked it against her still erect clitoris, making her shudder involuntarily. As she lay back and allowed her body to recover from his lovemaking, Chakotay lovingly kissed every inch of her body that was available to him, occasionally eliciting a sigh or a shiver from Kathryn's sated body.

Finally, he reached her mouth and kissed her deeply. She kissed him back without hesitation, experiencing the salty taste of her own juices mixed with their combined juices from earlier in the evening.

"I can't believe you did that," she whispered.

"What did I do?"

"You made my body respond in the most incredible way, even after everything we experienced earlier tonight. I didn't think I could do that."

"It was so beautiful, Kathryn. You are so beautiful, and the sexiest woman I've ever known." He smiled and lay beside her on the couch, as she laughed.

"Sexy? I'm a Starfleet Captain, and we are not supposed to be ‘sexy', I'll have you know."

"Well, the Admirals who made that rule certainly weren't thinking of you when they wrote it," he said, and grinned at her.

Kathryn turned on her side to face him, and Chakotay held her tightly against his chest so they could both fit on the couch. "I came in here to get some work done," she whispered.

"You were reading a padd when I walked in here, so at least you've made the effort," he said. "And, tonight, I don't care if you get any work done at all. Tonight, all my dreams have finally come true," he added softly.

Kathryn pulled back just enough so that she could look up at him through the dim lighting. "Have they?" she asked.

Chakotay nodded. "You and the baby are the most important things in my life." Kathryn suddenly looked very serious, and as she opened her mouth to speak, he put his finger over her lips to quiet her. "Kathryn, I know. You still have a crew to think about and a ship to get home. I understand that, and I will do everything within my power to help you. Nothing's changed in that regard, nothing at all. But I have a lot bigger personal reason to get home than I ever did before."

"Why is that?" she asked softly.

"Before, everything I ever wanted was right here on this ship, Kathryn. You were everything I ever wanted. But now we have a child on the way, and it's time we got home."

"I agree." She closed her eyes and sighed. "Chakotay, sometimes I don't know how or why I believe so deeply that we will get home. But I do. I know we'll get home."

"So do I," he said against her cheek.

"But I want you to promise me something."

"Oh oh."

"I'm very serious."

"All right," he said, knowing that she meant it.

"If something happens to me, just get our crew home."

"Kathryn, I promised you a long time ago that I would do just that. I haven't forgotten, and I don't need to renew that promise. I still believe in it. All right?"

She was quiet a moment, thinking. But then she answered so softly he wasn't sure at first that he'd heard her. "All right." Then she sighed again, and turned away from him. She pressed her back against him and took his hand from her waist and placed it against her breast. "Good night," she said softly.

And as Chakotay answered her, he couldn't help but smile to himself. There was a rather large Captain's bed in the adjoining room, yet here they were lying next to each other on the small, hard couch in the Captain's living room. Oh, well. Either way, he was still going to get a good night's sleep.

When Chakotay awakened the following morning, he started to roll over before opening his eyes, then suddenly found himself grabbing the edge of the couch before he fell onto the floor.

Chakotay opened his eyes, and blinked. He had sore muscles in places he didn't even realize he had muscles. And the muscles that weren't sore from sleeping on a too-small couch were sore from other things he and Kathryn had experienced the night before. He smiled to himself. What a night it had been!

"What are you grinning about?"

Chakotay opened his eyes to see Kathryn Janeway standing not a meter away from him, fully dressed and looking very refreshed. She had her arms crossed in front of her, and was trying to look stern. But she looked very beautiful. He smiled at her. "I was thinking about this dream I had last night."

"Oh?"

"I was holding the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my arms."

"Oh." She smiled, then unfolded her arms and walked closer to him as he slowly stretched his legs over the side of the couch and gingerly pushed himself into a sitting position. "How are you feeling?"

"Why? Do I look as sore as I feel?"

Kathryn laughed, then picked up her empty coffee cup from the night before that still sat on the coffee table. "You'll feel better after you've had some fresh coffee and a sonic shower." She moved to the recycle bin and dropped the cup in, then ordered two cups of coffee from the replicator, one black and one with cream and sugar for Chakotay. She took them both back to the couch and handed one to Chakotay, then sat beside him.

"Do you always look this wonderful first thing in the morning?" he asked her as he took his first sip of coffee.

"Of course. Didn't you expect that I would?" she asked seriously. But when Chakotay looked back at her with an equally serious expression on his face, she laughed. "Chakotay," she said gently. "I think you should drink more of that coffee. I've been up for over an hour. I have the early shift today, you know. Someone I won't mention by name assigned me to the early shift three times this week."

"Did he?"

"He did. I've had a long shower and I feel wonderful." She took another sip of her coffee, then put the cup on the table in front of her and stood. "Enjoy your coffee. I'll see you on the Bridge. And I hope you feel better."

"Kathryn, I may be a little sore, but I have never felt better in my life." He grinned at her again and she smiled back, then leaned over and kissed him gently on the mouth.

"Thank you for last night," she whispered. "It was incredible, and I don't mind admitting to you that I needed it."

Chakotay put his cup on the table next to hers, then stood and took her in his arms. "You didn't need last night any more than I did, Kathryn," he said softly. "I've needed you for so long."

They stood that way a moment, holding onto each other, she smiling against his chest and he smiling against her hair. Finally, Kathryn pulled away from him slowly. "I have to go," she said.

"I know. You've got a ship to get home," he said, and kissed her. "I'll see you on the Bridge in an hour."

"You know something," she said, smiling. "I'm feeling so good today, I might even run a series of battle drills this morning."

"Poor Tom."

"Don't worry, I won't be too hard on him."

"He'll complain about it anyway," he said.

"Of course he will. I have to give him something to talk about, you know. Besides, I don't want it said that the Captain of Voyager has turned soft."

"I could comment on that one, but I won't."

"Good move," she said. "Now, I'm leaving and you need to get a shower." She started for the door.

"Kathryn?" She turned. "I just realized that another dream of mine is going to come true this morning."

"Oh? What's that?"

He grinned, showing her those incredible dimples that she loved so much. "I've wanted to use your sonic shower since I first noticed on the ship's schematics after becoming your First Officer. It's a lot larger than mine."

She smiled again, and there was a twinkle in her eye. "Just be sure to clean up after yourself and don't let anyone see you leave my quarters this early in the morning."

And they were both still smiling as Kathryn Janeway left her quarters for the Bridge, each knowing full well that, at any given moment, any member of the crew could ascertain their exact whereabouts.

The next few weeks passed rather quickly, and Voyager's Captain was slowly becoming more obviously pregnant. Although the additional weight was rather minimal in actual pounds, the Captain herself was aware of every single ounce she gained. And both Chakotay and the Doctor encouraged her to eat everything in sight. She asked them to leave her alone and let her eat, or not eat, whatever she wanted. But they insisted that she wouldn't take care of herself very well without their constant "assistance." Finally, she tried to tell herself that they were only looking out for her best interests. Sometimes she actually convinced herself of it, and was more accepting of their doting ways, but sometimes . . . well, sometimes she let them have it with both barrels. She just couldn't help herself. The Doctor firmly believed it was simply her unbalanced hormones that were causing her to behave in an upset or irrational manner, but Kathryn Janeway knew better. It was simply the way she was. And if either of them stopped to think, they'd realize it, too. She hated to be coddled, and always had. But right now, it seemed that everyone was willing to overlook any shortcoming she had, simply because she was going to have a baby. It was ridiculous, but it did give her an advantage from time to time. And Kathryn Janeway always took her advantages where she could find them.

Kathryn took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She was lying on the couch in her Ready Room with a small blanket over her legs. She found that if she took fifteen minutes each afternoon just to lie back and relax, she was infinitely more cordial to those around her afterward. And right now, she felt better than she had all day.

It had been an awful day – long and troublesome. The warp core problems that B'Elanna thought she and her crew had taken care of weeks ago had resurfaced. Their troubles were by no means over. Kathryn had given B'Elanna nearly the full run of the ship for the past two days, just so she could try to find and repair the additional problems they had encountered. Every available crewmember was called upon to assist B'Elanna and her Engineering crew in any way possible, and Kathryn had been hoping beyond hope that the problems would soon be resolved.

Kathryn knew, however, that there was more to the story than just the small glitches that Engineering had detected in the past 48 hours. Voyager needed a complete overhaul, and the more Kathryn tried to push that thought into the back of her mind, the more she knew this was the real problem. And she knew that B'Elanna realized this was the problem, as well. B'Elanna had patched and repaired Voyager for as long as she could. Now they simply had to admit it, and find the appropriate place to set Voyager down. If they waited too long, there might not be a choice in the matter, and they might have to set her down in some unacceptable location.

A complete overhaul would cost Kathryn and her crew a month's time, or more, and time was measured dearly here in the Delta Quadrant. Each uneventful day was time wasted. After all these years, getting home was still the most important thing on Kathryn Janeway's mind when she awakened each morning. She had to get her crew home. But she also realized that a month spent getting Voyager in top condition was a month well spent.

Kathryn opened her eyes and sat up slowly, putting her head in her hands. Gods, sometimes she still had problems sleeping. She couldn't completely rid herself of the guilt from making that long-ago decision that had stranded all of them in the Delta Quadrant. It still plagued her, even after all this time. Sometimes, she'd snap awake in the middle of the night and remember it all again – the Caretaker's Array, the decision she made to save the Ocampa and strand her ship and crew in the Delta Quadrant indefinitely. Her decision, her choice. No one was to blame but her. And, at times, her only solace came when she thought of lovely Kes, and the other Ocampa like her who were saved from the Kazon threat by the destruction of the Caretaker's Array. This thought had been her only comfort for many months, and years, initially, and it still often served as a source of the strength she needed to move forward.

Kathryn remained still, but forced herself to take several deep breaths. Sometimes she was afraid Chakotay would notice her sleeplessness at night. He had always known she didn't sleep well occasionally, but now, when he sometimes stayed the night with her, she worried that her restlessness would make Chakotay worry even more about her than he did now. And she just couldn't take any more pampering.

In spite of herself, Kathryn smiled. This pregnancy certainly wasn't expected, but she often thought about how she would still be keeping Chakotay at arm's length if Fate itself hadn't intervened. In this case, the pregnancy came first, and then came the love affair. Well, maybe the term "love affair" wasn't right – they were still very careful about the word "love," and Chakotay was careful not to push her into any sort of commitment. Thankfully, he seemed happy just to be her lover, and the father of their child, for now.

Kathryn raised her head slowly, feeling a bit better. She glanced at the chronometer on the far wall. Good. She had another half an hour to herself. She stood slowly and moved toward the replicator. "Computer, one cup of coffee, black. And strong," she added. She had to snap to, had to be alert. There was a special senior staff meeting in thirty minutes, and she had to concentrate.

This morning, she and Chakotay had both spent considerable time in Engineering, trying to assist B'Elanna, trying to understand what the primary problems were. However, their presence seemed to make B'Elanna more nervous than they'd intended. It wasn't that B'Elanna was nervous about her superiors being in her Engineering Room; it was just that their very presence prevented her from doing the work she needed to be doing. And Kathryn also knew B'Elanna didn't like having to watch her fiery Klingon temper so closely. She would much rather have her trained Engineers around her than the two top-most commanding officers. It hadn't been long before she and Chakotay took the hint and left Engineering for an early lunch. Afterward, they reported to the Bridge, and then to the Captain's Ready Room to discuss the situation further.

And then, she had called a senior staff meeting for 19:00 hours. She couldn't remember what had gotten into her to plan a meeting for this awful hour, but she had. She was tiring more easily these days, and she liked to be back in her quarters by 19:00 hours, if it were possible.

Kathryn sat back on the couch with her cup of coffee and stretched her feet out in front of her. She suppressed a yawn, and took another sip of her coffee. Her uniform jacket was beginning to feel tight, and she couldn't stand the thought of having to replicate a maternity frock. Oh, Gods, she hated the very idea of it! And she refused to wear one of those awful garments until she could no longer fit into her regular uniform at all.

Suddenly, the Captain's door chime sounded, and she couldn't help but smile. Well, well. Wonder who that could be?

"Come."

Chakotay entered the room, and immediately noticed Kathryn sitting on the couch with her feet up in front of her. He smiled, as he moved up to her. "I'm surprised you didn't jump up and run down to your desk the moment the chime sounded. Relaxing on the couch like this is not very Captain-like, you know," he said sitting at the far end of the couch and putting her feet into his lap.

"No, but I knew it would be you at the door, and I wouldn't have to worry about whether I looked ‘Captain-like' or not."

"You knew it was me?"

"Of course."

Chakotay was quiet a moment. "Did you ask the computer who was outside the door?"

"No."

"But you knew it was me."

"Yes."

When Kathryn didn't expand, Chakotay asked "how?"

"Because it is fifteen minutes until the staff meeting, and precisely time for you to show up to make sure I feel all right, that I've had my vitamin hypospray, that I've eaten several meals . . ."

"Three."

"At least. And that I feel awake and able to preside over a staff meeting."

"Kathryn," Chakotay began slowly. He didn't want to agitate her, but he also didn't like thinking that she could read his intentions so well.

"Yes?"

Chakotay sighed, then looked at her with the most guilty look she'd ever seen. Kathryn grinned at him. "See," she purred softly, "I do know you well, Chakotay."

"I just want to be sure you're up to it, Kathryn."

"I know. That's why I'm not upset. But there is one thing you can do to make it up to me, all the same."

"Oh?" He grinned at her, and his eyes danced.

"Not that, Mister," she said. "But you can take off my boots and rub my feet," she said demurely. "We still have a few minutes."

Chakotay removed her boots, and began to rub her feet, just the way she liked it.

"Ohhhhh, that feels soooo gooooood," she moaned, as she leaned her head further back and onto the arm of the couch."

"Kathryn, if you keep making those sounds, I'll think you want me to do something more than just rub your feet." His voice nearly cracked. Just the sight of her lying back like that, and making those sexy sounds with her voice, was enough to make him wish they didn't have a staff meeting in a few minutes. He would love to lie beside her right now, hold her, whisper in her ear, make love to her . . .

Suddenly, Chakotay sat up straighter, and began to push Kathryn's boots back onto her feet gently. Kathryn raised her head, then pushed herself up so she could sit again. "Time for the meeting?"

"Nearly. I think we both need time to adjust to thinking about the meeting right now."

Kathryn smiled. "You mean, instead of other things?"

Chakotay looked at her pointedly. "Yes. Let's just get through the meeting, all right?"

"Then what?" She leaned forward a bit, and Chakotay could nearly feel her breath on his skin.

"Then we have dinner in the mess hall, go back to your quarters, and I'll tuck you in at a decent time so you can get a good night's rest. Then I'll go back to my own quarters for the night."

"Hmm. How about this instead?" Kathryn put her feet on the floor, then moved over to sit closer to Chakotay. "We finish the meeting, go to my quarters and replicate a nice dinner. Then we lie down and make mad, passionate love with each other. Then you can put your arm around me and stay with me tonight. I'll sleep much better after some lovely lovemaking, and with your arm around me for the entire night. How does that sound?" The Captain's voice was doing some incredible things to her First Officer.

Chakotay closed his eyes and silently took a deep breath. This woman could convince him of anything, and they both knew it.

"That sounds nice, too," he said softly, his voice catching in his throat. Did it ever.

"Good," she said, then leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "I think that will make for a very nice evening." Then Kathryn Janeway stood and moved down to her desk and began to ready herself for the staff meeting.

Chakotay smiled tiredly to himself. Her attention was now turned completely toward the upcoming meeting. She was amazing. It had been a long day, and if he was feeling the strain of it, Kathryn must certainly be feeling it even more.

Rising to his feet, Chakotay sighed. Another hour at most and he would escort Kathryn to her quarters. They both needed a good night's rest more than anything right now.

"So those are our options, People?" asked the Captain.

There were a few nods around the table, and Kathryn saw that B'Elanna's eyes were downcast, into her lap. "I don't like any of them," she said.

All eyes rose to meet hers. Even Chakotay, who sat to her immediate right, and had done so for all these many years now, seemed surprised by her statement. Kathryn turned slightly to her left and looked at Tuvok. He was the only one at the table who didn't seem surprised by her statement. But then, Tuvok wasn't exactly surprised by much.

The Captain continued. "We've talked, and plotted, examined, corrected, and repaired, every possible alternative to our primary warp core problem." She paused, allowing her words to sink in fully. "The one option we haven't yet discussed is the one which will bring forth the most viable solution." All eyes remained on her, and Kathryn was certain for a moment they were all holding their breath. She definitely had their full attention.

"We need to find a place to set Voyager down for full scale maintenance."

"But Captain . . ." began B'Elanna quickly, then paused.

"What is it, B'Elanna?" the Captain asked gently. Sometimes it was easier to coax a Klingon out of hiding with honey than with a painstick.

"A full scale maintenance will take a month, Captain. At least. That's if we can find a planet rich in all the ores and minerals we need in order to do the maintenance properly and efficiently."

"Or if we are close enough to other planets with those requirements. We could then reach them by shuttlecraft, if necessary," said Seven.

Kathryn listened as Harry and Tuvok added their recommendations, and their support of her plan. She glanced over at Chakotay and saw him stifle a small smile. She sighed inwardly; good, at least he didn't disagree with her. These days, it was nearly more than she could deal with when he disagreed with her. It took so much energy to argue, even to explain her intentions. Maybe this pregnancy was taking more out of her than she realized, after all.

Finally, when the room quieted, and all eyes turned back to her, the Captain stood from her chair and addressed the senior staff. "Adding an extra month – or more – to our journey isn't something to be taken lightly. I realize that." She began to move slowly around the room, and stood for a moment behind Tuvok. "It places us all in a difficult situation. What if the maintenance takes longer than four weeks? Longer than six? What if we encounter more severe problems with the ship's primary systems than we're prepared to deal with? How do we deal with other crewmembers if they begin to feel disillusioned, or worse—angry, that we've stopped our journey for so long." She paused, but continued to move slowly around the room. "How do we keep our own spirits up in the face of adversity, or disillusionment?" Again, she paused to let the people in the room think about her words. Finally, she came to rest just behind Chakotay's chair, and put her hand on his shoulder. She turned to look at the other faces once more.

"We do the best we can, People. That's all we can do. We've all faced difficult situations in these past few years, and as much as I'd like to be wrong about this, I don't think our tough times are over for good." The senior staff seemed to understand her meaning. She moved back to her chair and crossed her arms over the headrest. She was suddenly struck with a vague feeling of déjà vu. This all seemed so familiar somehow. And then she remembered. The mood in this room, and the words she was saying now, were so very reminiscent of a little speech she had made to these same faces so long ago about holding steadfast to protocol, to the foundation and fundamental beliefs of the United Federation of Planets. Well, most of the faces were the same, anyway. Seven had joined their ranks since then, and of course, they had lost their dear, dear Kes. All other faces were the same, yet they were also different. There was more maturity, and change, in each of their faces, and she knew it was reflected just as much in her own. Each individual in this room carried his or her own private battle scars.

Kathryn was overcome with such a feeling of loss that she had to turn away momentarily. Theirs was the loss of an innocence that would never return, the belief that good would always overcome evil, that good little starships would best their enemies and return home safely. And, damnit, their story would have the appropriate ending, if she had to die making it happen. She sighed. Meanwhile, there was always the Captain Proton holo-program.

Returning from her reverie, Kathryn became aware of the silence in the room. They were waiting for her to continue. She turned back to face the staff, but no one seemed to notice that she'd been daydreaming. She decided not to look at Chakotay. "We're going to get home. I believe that more strongly today than I ever have before. But I think B'Elanna would be the first to agree that our ship needs a little care and attention first, just as we all do from time to time. And we owe Voyager that much. She's brought us this far, and she'll be the one to take us all the way home." She paused, suddenly exhausted. Sitting in her chair once more, the Captain took her place at the head of the table. "Are there any questions?" She paused, briefly. "Concerns?"

After waiting a moment to be sure there was no forthcoming commentary, she began to give orders to her crew. "Seven, begin to search for L-Class or M2-Class planets with as many of the necessary minerals and ores as possible. B'Elanna, have your crew put together a complete list of those materials immediately and distribute it to anyone on board ship you think might have a reason to use it." B'Elanna nodded, as did Seven. "Harry, assist B'Elanna in any way you can. Tuvok, assist Seven and ascertain our tactical strengths and weaknesses in relation to any planet that looks like a possible solution to our situation. Remember, the best scenario would be to find a planet with breathable air and vegetable and plant life, but no other living beings." She saw the question in everyone's eyes. "I understand that this might not be realistic, but I'd rather not be faced with Prime Directive issues if at all possible. Neelix, take extensive and careful inventory of all foodstuffs. Make sure you know exactly what we do have as well as what we don't have, but need to acquire, before we set Voyager down." Neelix nodded fiercely, glad to have a chore that he would be able to perform well, thus making his Captain very happy. The other crewmembers were just glad that Neelix had been assigned to his own duties, and would not be offering his services to them every time they turned around. Tuvok, especially, was glad he would not have Neelix badgering him at every turn about learning tactical skills.

"Doctor, while I realize that you already have a complete and accurate inventory of all medical supplies, you'll need to determine what sort of supplies we might need to stock up on in case the planet we choose doesn't offer much in the way of our medicinal requirements. I know it's difficult to project what you might need in the future, but do the best you can."

The Doctor nodded.

"We need to think ahead, People. Although this overhaul should theoretically take four weeks, it could take much longer. Plan on it taking longer. Six weeks, even eight. As we've learned, it's always best to expect more than what we bargain for." Many of the crew nodded slightly, each remembering a particular time on this journey that was significant to them.

"Uh, Captain, what do you want me to do?" asked Tom.

Kathryn was tempted to assign Tom the duty of assisting the Doctor, but she just couldn't do it to him. Poor Tom had to spend more than enough time in the company of the good Doctor as it was, when he served his duty shifts in Sickbay.

"Tom, work with Seven and Tuvok. We need to know everything we can about atmospheric conditions in each and every system we consider. You'll need to know everything possible about the surrounding atmospheric conditions. Our best pilot will need to be able to maneuver us about in a shuttlecraft, if necessary."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"The Commander and I will be working on our own projects, but more than anything else, we will make ourselves available for any of you who need assistance. Don't hesitate to ask; that's what we're here for." Even though B'Elanna tried to look impassive, Kathryn saw a faint shadow pass across her face. If one could translate it, it might be said that when the Barge of the Dead begins to take its passengers to a cold destination, she would be happy to ask the Captain and Commander for assistance. Kathryn suppressed a smile. It was nice to know some things never changed.

"Is there anything more? Fine. We'll discuss this further in tomorrow's regular staff meeting. Any updates will be welcome at that time. Dismissed."

The senior staff began to file out of the room, already engrossed in their assignments. Only Chakotay remained seated with the Captain.

After everyone was gone, and the doors were shut behind them, Chakotay turned to Kathryn. "How long have you known you were going to do this?" he asked quietly.

"Not long. A few hours." They were both silent a moment, then Kathryn stood, walked over to the viewport, and looked at the star system outside. It was rather pretty, and if she had to stare at the same one for a few weeks, she hoped it was one like this.

"We have no choice, Chakotay. Voyager's been patched and repaired over and over again. I don't think she can take much more. Every time we engage a new enemy in battle, I silently ask her to hold up for us just one more time. Then one more, and yet again. I have no right to expect more from her than what she's already given. And yet I need more from her, much more, before we reach Federaton space. Voyager needs a pat on the back and a scratch behind the ear, and she needs it now." Chakotay smiled at her analogy. "And after that, I'll make demands of her again. But for now, I have to see that her needs are met."

There was a long silence, as Kathryn continued to look out the viewport and Chakotay remained seated at the conference table. He kept remembering those battles, those enemies she spoke of, and saw in his mind's eye the brave and beautiful woman warrior she'd always been to him. He prayed to the Spirits she would never have to fight battles as fiercely as she had in the past. Maybe the Spirits would look out for her, for a change, and let her rest. Kathryn needed peace in her heart, and although he knew it would never really be there for her until Voyager was home once more, he also knew that she needed some time to care for herself, and for their little baby. And, just perhaps, she could look upon him as more than just the father of her child, her First Officer, and now an occasional lover. He wanted her to accept that they were soulmates, that nothing could, or would, ever come between them again. Kathryn knew it in her heart, but she would refuse to believe it in her mind, to embrace it, until she was ready. He hoped that would be sooner rather than later, but he would wait however long it took.

Finally, Chakotay took a deep breath and stood. He moved up behind Kathryn and slipped his arms around her waist. When she leaned back against him, he closed his eyes. She brought him all the peace he needed, all that he had longed for his entire life.

After a few minutes, Kathryn turned in his arms to face him, and Chakotay opened his eyes and looked at her. "Chakotay," she whispered, "I don't want to stop our journey, but I had to. I had to do this."

"Yes, you did, Kathryn. It wasn't a choice; it was necessary."

She nodded silently, and he could tell she was forcing back tears. Kathryn lay her head against his chest, and Chakotay silently engulfed her in his arms. He knew her dilemma. For Kathryn Janeway, even the thought of sitting still for one day was enough to make her anxious. She had to get her people home, and she thought of each day as a step forward, a step toward that goal. And now, they were going to sit on the surface of some alien planet for an unknown number of days. Chakotay pulled her even closer. They would deal with things one step at a time, one day at a time. Right now, all he knew was that Kathryn Janeway was nearly six months pregnant, and he had to make sure she let others make the difficult repairs to Voyager, and not put herself into physical jeopardy. And while he knew she wouldn't do it intentionally, he also knew she was quite capable of forgetting all about little things like being pregnant when she wanted to crawl down a Jeffries Tube.

Chakotay took a long, deep breath. They were going to have some tough weeks ahead.

*****

Twelve days later, Seven of Nine, Tuvok and Tom Paris presented the rest of the senior staff with their analysis and recommendations for setting Voyager down for a month-long maintenance.

Long-range sensors detected a planet – third in a system of seven – that seemed to meet most of the Voyager crew's requirements for a ship-wide maintenance program. It would take approximately three days to get close enough for a better inspection, and Captain Janeway ordered Tom Paris to set a course for the planet immediately, Warp Six.

After three more days of close inspection, and staff meeting upon staff meeting, the senior staff satisfied Captain Janeway's questions and set her mind to rest about most of the underlying problems she was afraid they would encounter. The planet did, indeed, seem void of animal lifeforms of the variety any of Voyager's crewmembers had ever seen, although a couple of primate-type creatures had been detected. Seven ran further scans of the area, but the creatures seemed harmless, and in fact, kept to themselves.

Chakotay commented to the Captain that evening that this planet was looking more and more like New Earth, and she said she hoped that at least it was virus-free.

The ringing of her door chime made Kathryn Janeway sit up on her couch suddenly. She knew she had heard something, and then the chime rang again.

"Come," she called out in the best Captain's voice she could muster. She was still feeling a little groggy.

When Chakotay walked into her quarters, she looked up at him and smiled weakly.

"Hi," she said softly from across the room.

Chakotay walked up to where she sitting on the couch, and sat next to her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, glad for the comforting feeling he always gave her, and closed her eyes. He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her more closely to him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked gently.

"Better," she said.

"You should be in bed," he whispered in her ear, and then kissed her forehead.

"Hmmm. I thought I would get a bit of rest on the couch, and I did."

"You'd sleep better in bed," he said.

"How do you know?" she asked, and turned to look at him.

Chakotay thought about that a moment, but decided he didn't have a good answer, so he just smiled and pulled her against him again. "Good point," he said. "I don't know. But it makes sense."

"Ahhh, Chakotay," she said in her sexiest voice, "If everything we did made sense, you and I would have made love on New Earth, and been lovers since then."

Chakotay pulled away from Kathryn, and looked at her in surprise. "You've thought about that?" he asked.

"Chakotay, if you only knew how many nights I lay awake thinking of you before I became pregnant. But I couldn't let you know. I couldn't risk the command structure . . ."

"Kathryn, shhhhh. Things are very different now."

"Yes."

"I love you," he said, not planning on saying the words. They had just slipped out, and they felt so comfortable, so right. "I've loved you since the moment I saw you on my viewscreen nearly seven years ago."

Kathryn laughed softly. "You couldn't have," she said. "We were both in desperate situations."

"I fell in love with you anyway. I hated myself for it, but I did."

"I can't believe that," she continued. "And even if it were true, shortly afterward, when I allowed you to destroy your ship for mine, you would surely have felt differently."

"But I didn't."

"When I beamed you aboard, the first thing you did was question everything I said and did," she continued.

"That's very true. I wasn't happy about our situation."

"And I was?"

"No," he smiled against her hair. "But you were better able to deal with your feelings than I was back then. Since that time, I've gotten much better at it."

"Oh? How so?" She turned to look at him.

"I've silently told you how much I love you for seven years. You didn't want to hear it in words, so I told you in many different little ways, every day."

Kathryn's smile slowly disappeared, and she continued to look deeply into his eyes. "Yes. You did."

"I love you," Chakotay whispered again, as he bent his head to her lips and kissed her gently.

"I love you, too, Chakotay," she said, then turned her head so he wouldn't see the tears she had to force away.

"What is it?"

"Sometimes . . . sometimes I wonder what I ever did to deserve not losing you," she said, barely above a whisper.

"Kathryn . . ."

"No, don't say it, Chakotay. I turned you away time and time again, and yet you're here with me today."

"I'll always be with you, Kathryn. I'll never leave you," he closed his eyes and held her closer.

Kathryn lifted her head to him and took his face in her hands. She looked him in the eyes and smiled. "I love you, Chakotay," she whispered.

And as the Captain and Commander kissed each other, the beta shift was finishing preparations for tomorrow morning's 07:00 landing on the planet that would become Voyager's new temporary home.

Three weeks later, Captain Janeway stood with her hands on her hips, and a streak of black grease-like material across her left cheek. She had spent the better half of the day in Engineering against Chakotay's wishes, and now B'Elanna was explaining why nearly everything she and the rest of the Engineering crew had accomplished so far today was for naught.

"What do you mean, we have to begin again?" asked the Captain.

"Captain," B'Elanna was clinching her fists at her side, trying to stay calm. "I've already explained it. We have to recalibrate the core and start again."

Even though Captain Janeway knew the reasons why, and the sense they made, she struggled against accepting it. This would mean yet another day wasted. And so far, they had run into several roadblocks with Voyager's maintenance schedule.

Suddenly, Chakotay came through the Engineering doors, and B'Elanna nearly sighed with relief. "Commander," she jumped in before Chakotay even reached the small group standing near the warp core.

Kathryn sighed. She had noticed the look of relief on B'Elanna's face the moment Chakotay walked into the room. "It's okay, B'Elanna," she said, moving to her Chief Engineer before Chakotay got nearer to them. "You continue here. You have things well under control. I think I need to get some fresh air." She looked B'Elanna in the eye, and saw the look of relief there. She smiled the best she could, then began to move toward the doors, and freedom. Chakotay immediately moved in behind her.

When they reached the corridor outside Engineering, Chakotay stopped her. "Kathryn? Is something the matter?"

"Not at all, Chakotay. I just need to take a break." She immediately saw the concern in his face. "Nothing's wrong, all right? It's just been a long morning, and it's unbearably hot in that engine room. I'm going to rest a bit." And she started off toward her quarters, willing Chakotay not to follow her. To her relief, he didn't. It was true; all she needed was a bit of rest. This pregnancy was trying to outdo her, and she was damned if it would keep her down. A bit of a nap, and then she would be back assisting in Engineering.

Chakotay entered Sickbay, and immediately spied the Doctor across the room. Their eyes met, and the Doctor put down his tricorder and headed for his office. Chakotay was nearest the office and entered the room first. He sat in a chair opposite the Doctor's desk.

When the Doctor entered the room, he closed the door and moved to the chair behind his desk. "What do you wish to know, Commander?"

"How is she?"

"Well. For the most part."

Chakotay looked up, concerned.

"Commander, the Captain is healthy and much heartier than she seems. However, she is working twelve and fourteen hours every day, with only a nap taken every few hours when she is forced to take one."

"That's true, Doctor. I know that, but she won't listen to me. The more I argue with her to rest, the more determined she seems to ignore me."

"I understand, Commander. I don't fare any better with her." They were both silent a moment. "Commander, the Captain still feels incredible guilt about stranding Voyager in the Delta Quadrant, and she is doing the only thing she knows how to do to make the ship ready to leave this space again, and that's to assist the maintenance crews in any way she can."

"I know that, Doctor." But Chakotay seemed overly tired himself. "I just don't want her to do anything to hurt the baby. One wrong move and . . ."

"I wouldn't be overly concerned about that, Commander. A pregnant woman's body is much more resilient than you think. It will become so overly tired that it will have to rest. The Captain is resting now, because she can't ignore those needs anymore. She is over seven months pregnant, Commander, and believe it or not, this pregnancy will be over soon."

Chakotay looked at the Doctor. "Not soon enough for me, Doctor," he said. "But thanks for reassuring me of Kathryn's health." He stood, and the Doctor followed suit.

The Doctor watched as Chakotay moved toward the door. "Commander," Chakotay turned. "It won't hurt to continue to remind her to rest. Maybe she'll even listen once or twice before her body actually refuses to function until she does."

Chakotay smiled tiredly. "Of course I'll keep trying, Doctor. I have to."

The Doctor nodded, knowing the odds the Commander faced. "Good luck, Commander," he said.

And as Chakotay started out the door, he turned again to the Doctor. "One more thing, Doctor."

"Yes?"

"This baby . . . it is a girl . . . ?"

"Of course, Commander, and a very healthy one, at that."

Chakotay smiled. "Thank you, Doctor." Then he continued out of Sickbay, down the corridor and into the turbolift. He had to check on Kathryn. She would more than likely not appreciate his checking up on her, but he didn't particularly care. He needed to see her, to make sure she and their daughter were all right, and resting well.

He smiled to himself as the turbolift doors opened and he continued down the corridor to Kathryn's quarters. Their daughter. Even though he had always known Kathryn was carrying their daughter, now that it had finally been confirmed by the Doctor, he suddenly felt the newness all over again.

Chakotay rang the chime to Kathryn's quarters and heard her voice faintly bid him enter. He did so, just as she walked out of her bedroom.

"Chakotay. There was no need to check up on me. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of . . ." but her words were quickly cut off, as Chakotay put his arms around her and covered her mouth with his own.

The Commander had a few tricks up his sleeve when it came to handling the Captain, and he kissed her now, gently, warmly.

When they finally moved apart, the Captain sighed. "I hate it when you do that," she whispered, leaning her forehead against his chin.

"I know," he whispered back, and smiled to himself.

"I don't have time today, Doctor," said the Captain. She was hurrying down the corridor, on her way to the Bridge. The Doctor had donned his holoemitter and was now following her into the turbolift.

"Doctor . . ."

"Captain, you have postponed your appointment for three days."

"Yes, but I'm fine, Doctor. And I have work to do."

"As do we all, Captain. But you can give me half an hour of your time."

"I'm sorry, Doctor . . ." the Captain stopped suddenly, and tried to calmly take hold of the hand rest behind her.

"What is it, Captain?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." But then she took a deep breath, and gasped.

"You're not fine, Captain," said the Doctor, grabbing her other arm, as her knees began to buckle.

The Doctor hit his combadge. "Doctor to Sickbay."

"Sickbay here, Doctor," came Tom Paris' voice through the Doctor's communicator.

"I have a medical emergency, Mr. Paris."

Tom met the Doctor at the turbolift with emergency transport equipment for the Captain. The Doctor didn't want to take the chance of beaming the Captain into Sickbay in her condition. Theoretically, it should be all right to do so, but he didn't want to take unnecessary chances.

As soon as the Doctor had Captain Janeway lying as comfortably as possible on a biobed, he began to scan her for signs of trauma or strain. She seemed to be in some pain, but was trying to be as brave as possible. This concerned him more than anything.

However, just as the Doctor was putting his scanning equipment away, Chakotay rushed into Sickbay. "Doctor, how is she?" he asked, before he even reached the biobed.

"I'm fine, Chakotay," said Kathryn, weakly, from the bed.

"She's fine, Commander," said the Doctor. "We just had a bit of a scare."

"Why?" asked Chakotay. "Something has to be wrong for Kathryn to faint like that."

"She did not faint, Commander. The Captain has been completely conscious the entire time. Please do not jump to conclusions based on idle gossip from other crewmembers."

Chakotay sighed heavily, and Kathryn turned to look at him. Even in her condition she could tell how tired he looked, and she suddenly felt guilty that he had been putting in so many additional hours elsewhere on the ship while she worked in Engineering.

"Commander," said the Doctor evenly, "please wait in my office and I'll join you in a few minutes."

Chakotay understood the meaning. The Doctor was telling him in no uncertain terms to leave Sickbay, and Kathryn, immediately. Just as he opened his mouth to argue, he shut it again. The Doctor was right. He was disrupting the Doctor's examination of Kathryn.

Chakotay nodded his understanding, took Kathryn's hand in his own and squeezed it while looking into her eyes. Then he lay her hand down gently and left her side to wait in the Doctor's office.

The Doctor sighed inwardly, then turned back to his patient.

"Doctor," said Kathryn, "I'm fine. Really. I'm just overtired. If you'll allow me to retire to my quarters, a good night's rest will make everything all right in the morning."

"Hmm. You're probably right, Captain. But I'm sure that a night's rest in Sickbay will be even better."

"What? Stay here? In Sickbay? Doctor, I'm not prepared to do that." Kathryn began to sit up on the bed, but the Doctor put his hand on her shoulder, preventing her from moving.

"Do not sit up, Captain. I'm not finished with my examination." Kathryn swallowed her anger at being restrained, and forced herself to remain calm. She knew how to deal with the Doctor, and she had to remain focused and in control.

"Doctor," Kathryn began in an even tone, "I'm perfectly fine now, and I promise . . ."

"Please, Captain, remain quiet for a few moments longer."

The Doctor was determined to have the upper hand, Kathryn knew. She took a deep breath and again forced herself to focus on remaining calm. Calm, and in control.

"Well, Captain, you do indeed seem fine. I believe you simply had a muscle spasm, which isn't unusual in the latter stages of human pregnancies." The Doctor assisted the Captain in sitting up on the biobed.

"Fine, Doctor. And since I'm feeling perfectly all right now, I'd like to be allowed to go to my quarters."

"Of course, Captain. You are to remain there for the next twenty-four hours."

"What?! Twenty-four hours? Doctor, I feel perfectly healthy. I'm a bit tired, so I'd like to go and rest. But after that, I fully intend to resume my duties and assist with Voyager's maintenance."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible, Captain. You have a choice; you can either retire to your quarters for the next twenty-four hours, or you can stay here in Sickbay for the next twenty-four hours. Your choice." The attitude in the Doctor's voice only served to make Kathryn Janeway even angrier, and this time she couldn't stop herself.

"Doctor," she began in a calm but firm voice, the same voice that Tom Paris had grown to dread over the years. "I am perfectly capable of determining what is best for me." She pushed herself off the biobed and onto the floor, and turned to look the Doctor in the eye. "And I will now go to my quarters and take a nap. After that, I will resume my duties on this ship until I feel I need to rest again. And when I am ready to have this baby, you will be the first to know. Do I make myself clear?"

"Of course, Captain," the Doctor answered in the same condescending tone as before. "However, since your opinion in medical matters is secondary on this ship, I suggest you take my two options to heart. You have only those two choices to consider. If you do not agree to remain either in Sickbay or in your quarters for the next twenty-four hours, I will be forced to have you restrained. For your own good, of course."

"Doctor . . ." the Captain's voice was beginning to grow a bit louder.

"Is something the matter?" asked Chakotay, coming into the room. He had peeked out of the Doctor's office when he couldn't force himself to wait any longer, and immediately sensed that the Doctor and Kathryn were in the midst of what was going to become a heated argument. Well, it would soon become heated on Kathryn's side of things, at any rate.

"Everything is fine, Chakotay. I'm handling this." Kathryn continued to look at the Doctor.

"Actually, Commander," said the Doctor, turning to look at Chakotay. "I am having a bit of difficulty getting the Captain to understand that she has two options to consider, and not three, as she seems to think."

Chakotay sighed. He immediately understood the situation he had just walked into. It was what was once called a "pissing contest," and Kathryn was very good at involving herself in these when someone disagreed with her, or questioned her orders. He'd been expecting this sort of confrontation between the Doctor and Kathryn well before now, so he supposed they'd been lucky it took this long for it to surface. "And just what are the options, Doctor?"

"Chakotay, I said I'm handling this," said Kathryn, firmly, but still not looking at him.

"She may either stay in Sickbay for the next twenty-four hours, or her own quarters, which she seems to prefer. She may not return to duty, which she seems to think is a third choice," said the Doctor smugly.

Chakotay closed his eyes briefly and tried to center himself. This was going to end badly, but it couldn't be helped. He opened his eyes and looked at Kathryn. "Kathryn," he said gently, "spending the next twenty-four hours in your quarters isn't so bad. I'll bring you constant reports of the repair schedule and keep you updated on anything else you might want to know."

Kathryn immediately turned her attention to Chakotay. "I am not spending the next twenty-four hours pacing my quarters, Chakotay. My services are needed elsewhere on this ship. As long as I am feeling well, I intend to uphold my responsibilities to this ship and this crew."

"Kathryn, no one is questioning your role, or your commitment. But you can't do everything alone." Chakotay sighed. He saw the fire burning in Kathryn's eyes, and knew that nothing he said to her under these conditions would get through to her. "Doctor, would you excuse us for a moment, please."

The Doctor nodded his head and escaped into his office. He was more than happy to let the Commander deal with the Captain just now.

After the Doctor had gone, Chakotay turned back to Kathryn. Her mood hadn't changed, and her eyes burned with defiance. "Kathryn, I'd appreciate it if you would do as the Doctor requested."

"Would you," she said simply. "Well, this is my ship, Commander, and my decision to make . . ."

"No, as the Doctor said, it isn't, Captain." Chakotay spoke gently, but firmly. He would make his meaning clear, too, and if she wanted to use command titles, then fine, he would use them as well. He looked her straight in the eye. "It is now the Doctor's decision. You are less than four weeks away from giving birth to our child, and I for one want to take no chances that both of you are cared for in the best, and most responsible, way possible. And if the Doctor wants you to rest in your quarters, then I'll do anything within my power to see that you do just that."

Chakotay immediately saw that Kathryn was surprised at his absolute conviction, but he had to make sure he didn't waiver, didn't show a weakness that would allow her to take control of the situation. He hated doing this, but he knew Kathryn Janeway, and he knew he had to be one step ahead of her until this baby was born. And it wasn't easy. But for the moment, at least, she had nothing to say.

"This is my child, too, Kathryn," he said in a gentler voice. "She hasn't been born yet, and I'm not able to hold her in my arms and look into her eyes. But I love her with all my heart, just the same. And I want to watch her being born, watch the woman I love bring this wonderful gift into the world. I can't imagine anything in life being more important than that moment, Kathryn." He swallowed hard. "And I want to love you both for the rest of my life." His eyes were moist, and Kathryn was very still, and very quiet. The anger in her eyes had died, but she was still stubborn enough not to say anything.

"I'm asking you to please take extra care, Kathryn," he said. "Listen to what the Doctor has to say. He is only looking out for everyone's best interest. Please. I don't ask you for many favors, Kathryn. But I'm asking for this one. If you won't do this for yourself, will you do this for me." They stood a meter apart, and stared into each other's eyes, until finally Kathryn's eyes began to tear, as well, and Chakotay knew he'd made a dent in her defenses. This time it had taken a photon torpedo to do it, but at least he had made his feelings known, and she had listened.

The Doctor came out of his office, cleared his throat noisily, and cautiously moved toward the Captain and Commander. "Well," he said, trying to sound casual, "how is everything out here?"

The Captain and Commander continued to stare at each other another moment, and then Kathryn pulled her eyes from Chakotay's and looked at the Doctor. "Everything is fine, Doctor. If you don't need me further, I'd like permission to retire to my quarters," she said. "For the next twenty-four hours," she added pointedly, and with complete distaste in her voice, as she looked back at Chakotay. But Chakotay grinned at her slowly, and in spite of herself, her mouth turned up at the corner in that little way that Chakotay loved.

"Certainly, Captain," said the Doctor, his usual demeanor returning immediately. "Please report to Sickbay this time tomorrow, and if I determine that you are fit for duty, I will officially release you."

The Captain pulled her eyes from Chakotay's again, nodded at the Doctor, and walked from the room. Both men watched as she exited Sickbay, then looked at each other. One more incident averted. For now.

Chakotay turned and silently left Sickbay for the Bridge. Kathryn's pregnancy was going to be his undoing yet. Thank the Spirits it was almost over.

Some weeks later, at nearly 22.00 hours, Commander Chakotay initiated a command override on the door to the Captain's private quarters and entered the room. The lights were dimmed to nearly 25% and the room was quiet. He moved quietly to her bedroom door and peered in. He couldn't see her face, but there was a lump on the far side of the bed, snuggled down beneath the bedcovers. He smiled to himself. For such a tiny woman, she sure could make her presence known when she wanted to. And, as often as he felt like complaining about her stubbornness, he also knew that he loved it about her as well. If it wasn't for her perseverance, Voyager wouldn't be so close to home, and he was convinced they would never have gotten close enough for contact with the Alpha Quadrant to be established at all.

Chakotay took a deep breath, and reentered the Captain's sitting room. He was exhausted. It had been a very long day, and they had run into some additional problems with Voyager's maintenance. The pre-fire chamber temperature was still erratic, but E'Elanna was certain she had finally figured out a way to correct it. When Chakotay left her in Engineering only minutes ago, she was still testing her theory, but the results looked promising.

After ordering a cup of hot tea from the replicator, Chakotay moved up to the couch and sat. It felt good to sit. He drank his tea, and tried to clear his mind. This was the first time in nearly eighteen hours that he had taken a few moments to relax. The projected schedule for Voyager's maintenance was already lagging behind several days, and although that was to be expected, he knew Kathryn was anxious to get some of the loose ends tied up. He knew that her main concern, and the one she hadn't mentioned, was that she would be giving birth to their child any day now and her attentions would need to be focused on something other than Voyager. And she was uncomfortable pulling herself away from the ship, and ship's issues, while they were still sitting dead in the water. She didn't want them to be vulnerable to an alien attack. Chakotay understood this, and he tried to allay her concerns as often as he could. For the most part, he was successful, but trying to stay one step ahead of Kathryn Janeway was exhausting, and downright impossible. The best he could do was to be there when she needed him.

Chakotay put his empty cup on the coffee table and lay his head on the back of the couch. He slowly raised his feet and put them on the coffee table, crossing them at the ankle. He couldn't remember ever being so tired.

"Hmm. So this is what you do when you're alone in my quarters. You put your feet up on my furniture, thinking you can get away with it when I'm not looking."

Chakotay opened his eyes and looked toward the bedroom where Kathryn stood in her robe, leaning against the doorframe. He smiled tiredly, and held his hand out toward her, inviting her to come to him. "You'd better get used to it. We're soon going to have a little girl who will test your patience even more than I do."

"Oh?" Kathryn smiled, as she moved up to sit beside Chakotay. "And how do you know she'll do that? Perhaps she'll be a good baby, then a demure, quiet, unassuming child who will obey her parents without question."

"Not likely," he replied, putting his arm around Kathryn, and his head against the back of the couch once more. He closed his eyes, feeling tired yet comfortable.

"And how do you know that?"

"Hmm?"

"How do you know our child will try our patience?"

"Because she is our child, Kathryn, and she will inherit 50% of your traits."

"And?"

"And, there is no part of you that is demure."

Kathryn laughed softly. "That must be what attracted you to me."

"That, and the fact that you are incredibly beautiful, smart and fearless."

"Ohhhhh? All of those things?"

"Yes." Chakotay was completely relaxed now, and he could feel himself beginning to drift away. He knew he should get up, take a quick sonic shower and get some sleep. He had been staying with Kathryn every night lately. It made him feel better to be near her in case she went into labor. Although she constantly reminded him that she might go into labor in the middle of the day, instead of in the middle of the night, and that she was also quite capable of contacting the Doctor by herself, it still made him feel better to be near her whenever possible.

Kathryn looked up at the kind and handsome man next to her. His eyes were closed, and she could tell he was nearly asleep. "Chakotay?" she whispered.

"Hmmmm . . ."

"Give me your hand." She took his hand, and placed it on her stomach so he could feel the baby kicking. She watched his face as it lit up with a big smile. "She's anxious to get out of there," she said.

"Of course she is. She's your daughter, and she'll never sit still for long," he said so softly that Kathryn could barely hear him.

"Chakotay, why don't you get a shower, and come to bed? I'll give you a backrub," she said gently.

Chakotay pulled himself awake, and turned to look at her. "That sounds good to me," he smiled, and stood. He took Kathryn's hand and helped her from the couch. Although she had actually gained only fourteen pounds, it felt like a great deal to her, and she wasn't accustomed to carrying the extra weight. Chakotay had been concerned that she hadn't gained more weight, and he'd said as much to the Doctor, much to Kathryn's dismay, but the Doctor had assured him that not all human females gained a large amount of weight. And the baby, and Kathryn, were doing just fine.

Chakotay managed to take a quick shower, wrap a towel around his waist and make his way to Kathryn's bed, where she encouraged him to turn onto his stomach so she could knead the tight muscles in his shoulders. In less than five minutes, he was sound asleep, and Kathryn removed her robe and curled up next to him the best she could.

It was becoming more and more difficult for Kathryn to get comfortable for more than a few minutes at a time, and tonight it was even worse than usual. As much as she was not anxious for the actual delivery of this child, she was very much looking forward to not being pregnant anymore. Her back ached constantly, and she could barely stand after sitting for more than half an hour at a time. She was often treated as though she were helpless by much of the senior staff and other crewmembers, as well. She tried to be patient with their doting, but her patience was tried constantly. She couldn't stand to be hampered by something outside her control, and she could barely remember what it was like to go near a Jeffries Tube without Chakotay and B'Elanna both running after her, warning her not to crawl inside it!

After several minutes of tossing and turning, Kathryn left the bed and walked into the outer room. She was even more restless than usual tonight. She ordered a cup of hot tea from the replicator, hoping it would calm her and allow her to get a decent night's rest for a change. Her actual due date was tomorrow, and she swore the Doctor already had Sickbay ready for her. He checked in with her constantly to see how she was feeling. Thankfully, it was late enough in the evening that even he wouldn't bother her now.

Kathryn sighed and walked to the viewport next to the couch. Oh, how she loved looking out at the stars. She had loved it since she was a small child. Her father had entertained her with his stories of far away planets and peoples as far back as she could remember. He had been so proud of her. How she wished he could be here with her now. He would have loved to see his granddaughter, and Kathryn was suddenly overcome with sadness that her daughter would never know her grandfather.

Her eyes began to fill with tears and she turned from the viewport and moved to the couch. She looked at it a moment, then decided not to sit. Getting up was just too much trouble, and maybe she could go back to bed in a few minutes, after she finished her tea, anyway. She smiled to herself. Tea. Maybe Chakotay was finally rubbing off on her after all these years.

Suddenly, she caught her breath. She felt a sudden sharp pain in her abdomen. Oh, no. She knew what this meant. But then again, it could just be indigestion or another muscle spasm. She'd had several of those lately. She walked around a bit and drank her tea. Maybe she'd even imagined it.

But then, a few minutes later, she felt another pain, and it was just as intense. She forced herself to hold onto the mug of tea, even though she felt a bit of it splash out onto her hand. After a moment, the pain passed and she took a deep breath. Breathe. She told herself to breathe. How much time had elapsed between the two pains? She had no idea. She glanced at the chronometer across the room. If it happened again, she would know it was the real thing. And she would also be able to tell the Doctor and Chakotay exactly how much time had passed between the contractions, if they asked her. And they would definitely ask.

Finally, when Kathryn had relaxed a bit and was convinced the pain wouldn't occur again, she carried the nearly empty mug of tea to the recycle bin and disposed of it. She turned to go into the bedroom, but had to grasp the doorjamb when another pain hit her. This one was worse than the others. She held her breath and closed her eyes. She concentrated on the pain and isolated it. Finally, she was able to get her breath again.

Kathryn glanced at the chronometer. Eight minutes. Her contractions were coming eight minutes apart. Whatever happened to the ones with fifteen-minute intervals she was supposed to experience first? She moved back into the outer room and walked around a bit longer. She had to think. No, she told herself, she had to get to Sickbay.

Deciding to go into the bedroom to change into her uniform, Kathryn started for the doorway, then gasped and grabbed the back of the nearest chair for support, nearly doubling over with the pain. Forget the uniform, she thought. The contractions would soon come closer together, and she had to get to Sickbay. She hit her commbadge.

"Janeway to the Doctor," she said, trying to breathe steadily.

"Yes, Captain," said the Doctor.

"It's time."

"Good. Can you come to Sickbay yourself, Captain, or shall I send someone for you?" The Doctor seemed thrilled that the moment had at last arrived, but Kathryn wasn't sharing that feeling at the moment.

"I'm fine, Doctor. I'll be right there."

She looked in at Chakotay, but knew he was exhausted. Kathryn decided to let him sleep. There was nothing he could do for her anyway. She could certainly get to Sickbay by herself. It would take her less than ten minutes to get there, and she could manage it alone. At least the contractions didn't seem to be getting worse in intensity. Yet.

Kathryn quietly took her robe from the foot of the bed, then stopped. Damnit, she was the Captain of this vessel, and she would not walk down the corridors of her ship in a gown and a robe. She dropped the robe back onto the bed, and as quickly and quietly as she could, she removed her gown, opened her closet and pulled out a fresh maternity uniform. She was still proud of the fact that she had only begun to wear these awful things five weeks ago.

Kathryn Janeway donned a fresh, crisp maternity uniform and walked into the outer room of her quarters. She was just in time for a fresh pain to catch her before she reached the door, but at least she hadn't awakened Chakotay. This time she was ready for the contraction, and waited for it to pass. They were now six minutes apart. She didn't have time to waste. They were getting closer together and were becoming more severe. If she were lucky, she would make it to Sickbay with only one more contraction slowing her down.

The moment she could bear it, she exited her quarters, held her head high, and pushed her shoulders back. She would not deliver her daughter in her quarters or in Voyager's corridor. She would make her way to Sickbay, and the Doctor could assist her from there.

Twelve minutes later, Captain Janeway walked into Sickbay. She had experienced two contractions along the way, but had managed not to run into other crewmembers. Thankfully, with Voyager being set down for repairs, crew shifts ran very differently, and there weren't many people wandering the corridors at this hour. The journey from her quarters to Sickbay hadn't been the easiest thing she'd ever done, but she had done it on her own, and Kathryn Janeway was nothing if not independent.

As soon as the Captain walked into Sickbay, the Doctor rushed her to a private area of Sickbay that he had prepared for just this event. "Captain," he said, looking about, "Where is the Commander?" Kathryn heard surprise, and even a small amount of concern, in his voice.

"He's sleeping," she said, allowing the Doctor to assist her in getting onto the biobed he had ready for her.

"Sleeping?" the Doctor asked incredulously. "You came here alone?"

"Doctor, if you'll remember, I am the Captain of this ship, and I am quite capable