Rating:  NC-17

Notes:   This is a sequel to “Lost Again” and is set about a week after the events in that story, which you really need to read first for this to make any sense.
 
 

By Mary S.
 
 

           Captain’s log:  Stardate 54997.7   Our first week in the Gamma Quadrant has been devoted to repairing the ship.    We were able to find an uninhabited L-class moon on which we could land, making repairs much easier as well as faster.      We want to have Voyager in the best condition possible before we begin our long journey home.    The hull breaches have been sealed, the transporters and weapons systems are on line, and the holodecks are once more available to the crew.   Much to everyone’s relief, use of the replicators is no longer restricted.

           While Crewman Chell has outdone himself in preparing nutritious, flavourful meals with few resources, we will all be glad of a more varied menu.   In particular, I will be very grateful for a decent cup of coffee.    Chell  hasn’t quite got the knack yet of how to brew a good pot.   However, considering how imaginatively he has worked with very limited supplies, he deserves a commendation – if nothing else, for creative thinking!
 
           Kathryn paused, then closed her log, as she mentally reviewed the previous week.   For once, they had gotten lucky.   Not far from their entry point into the Gamma Quadrant, they had located a moon where they could land the ship, which had speeded up repair times enormously.    What would have taken over two weeks in space, had been accomplished on the ground in less than half the time.    In a few hours, after engineering had run final checks, they would lift off and lay in a course for the Alpha Quadrant.

           She sighed as she felt the shadow of despair threatening.   Could they do it again?   Pull off another miracle and find a way home?   Or had they used up all the luck they had?    Realistically, she knew the odds were against them – but then, they always had been, and they had nearly made it.   It wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility to do it again – it just wasn’t too likely.

           But they had to try.   There simply was no other option.   They had to do everything they could to achieve the impossible.   And, her heart reminded her, if any ship and crew could do it, this one could.

           Thinking of the crew reminded her that she had promised to attend their first party in the Gamma Quadrant – a celebration of the fact that they were still alive after one week.    She had thought Chell was joking when he’s suggested it earlier in the day, but had very quickly discovered that he was quite serious.   The crew had worked very hard – they needed some downtime, and what better way than a party in the mess hall!

           She’d started to protest that they really didn’t have any replicator rations to spare.   However, she’d quickly learned that a downcast Bolian was a very sorry sight indeed and one she would rather not have to look at if she didn’t need to.    Besides, when she considered the idea a little more, she realized he was right – the crew did deserve a big pat on the back for all their efforts.    She had approved his plan and sent him on his way, promising to drop in for a while at some point during the evening.

           She’d better hurry – he had told her 1700 hours and it was nearly that now.   Quickly, she shut down her computer and trotted out the ready room door onto the bridge.    A skeleton crew was in attendance, mainly monitoring long-range sensors; the lieutenant in charge assured her that they would be relieved in plenty of time to join the celebrations later on.   She nodded but didn’t stop, heading directly into the turbolift.    Once she had disappeared, the lieutenant quickly paged the mess hall, informing Chell that the captain had left the bridge.

           Chell hushed the crowd as he listened, then breathed a sigh of relief and signaled everyone to keep working on the decorations, as well as setting out the food and drink.   With luck, they might just have everything ready before the captain arrived.

           Meanwhile, Commander Chakotay had called Kathryn and in a very casual tone of voice, asked if she was going to the party.   She interpreted his query to be a veiled hint that she should go and replied loftily that yes, she was, once she’d had a quick bath.   She could hear the smile in his voice as he said he would be glad to escort her, if she’d like.

           “That would be nice,” she replied.    “Why don’t you come by in about half an hour?”

           “See you then,” he’d answered and cut the link.

           She wasted no time starting the bath as she stripped off her uniform.   While the tub was filling, she rifled her closet, finally settling on a comfortable blue linen dress and low-heeled shoes.   It was a casual party after all, so she didn’t need to get dressed up.   As she climbed into the bath, she found herself actually looking forward to the evening.
 

                                         =^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=
 

           Half an hour later on the dot, the door chimed as Kathryn was trying to find an earring.   She called to Chakotay to come on in as she rooted around under her dresser.    When she didn’t hear him after the door had swished closed, she craned around to find him staring fixedly at her backside.    She blushed and began to stammer an explanation to hide her reaction to his concentrated gaze.   He jumped slightly and looked up, a rather lascivious grin on his face.

           Embarrassment gave way to anger.   She knelt on the floor, hands on her hips, glaring at him.   His grin grew wider.   “Very nice, Kathryn.”   She was under no illusion that he was referring to her outfit.

           “Instead of propping up the doorframe, how about helping me find this damfool earring?!” she grumbled at him.

           He crouched down beside her and ran one hand under the dresser.  A moment later, he sat back on his heels, the earring between his fingers.   “Is this it?”

           Kathryn made a sound of disgust and held out her hand.  “I wasted ten minutes looking for the silly thing after I dropped it!   And you find it within seconds!”

           Chakotay smiled smugly.   “Sheer genius, of course.”

           “Oh, of course,” she agreed sarcastically as she attached the earring firmly.   “There!   Let’s go.”

           He scrambled to his feet, then stretched out a hand to help her up.   He gave a solid tug which resulted in her over-balancing and falling against him.    Her hands came up to grasp his shirt as his arms went around her.   He grinned down into her face, inches from his.

           Kathryn stared up at him, feeling the contours of his body pressing against her.   He made no move to back away, instead tightening his grip.   She found herself panting lightly as little shoots of desire burst through her.   He hadn’t touched her since the night they’d arrived in the Gamma Quadrant.   Several times, memories of their passionate kiss had caught her unawares, leaving her aching, wanting him.   Each time, she had forced the longing down, telling herself she had to concentrate on Voyager and stop daydreaming over her first officer.

           But this was no dream.   Chakotay was solid and very real, his breath caressing her cheek as he dropped his head to brush his lips across hers.   In spite of herself, she moaned, her body responding before her brain had a chance to say ‘no’.     His tongue slid out to stab at the corner of her mouth, then lick her lower lip.   She pushed against him, aroused and needy, arching her hips forward.    His erection prodded her stomach and his hold tightened even more as he grasped her lower back and crushed her against him.

           His mouth came down hard on hers, tongue out and invading before she could think of refusing.    Her hands slid around his waist, then lower, to grasp his butt and pull his hips against her.   They were both groaning now, losing control as passion took over.   Bodies grinding against each other, breaking the kiss to gasp for air, waves of arousal coursing through them.

           Kathryn felt the heat coil deep inside, then explode throughout her body as she lost all awareness of where she was.   Eyes closed, head back, she moaned as she jerked against him.   She was going to come, and come hard.

           Chakotay was just as lost, his hands clutching her hips as he rocked against her.   His erection was rubbing unbearably on his clothing and he reached down a hand to open his pants.    Just as he did, Kathryn’s commbadge chirped.

           “Chell to Janeway.”

           Neither heard the first hail or the second, but on the third attempt, they both came to, realizing that someone was trying to page her.   Kathryn stumbled back, panting hard, her hand automatically going to her badge.

           “Janeway here,” she gasped out.

           “Captain!” came Chell’s cheerful voice.   “Have you forgotten about the party?”

           “No, Mr. Chell, I…I’m almost ready.”  She fought to control her breathing.   “I’ll be…along shortly.”

           She closed the link and stood swaying, panting for air.    “Chakotay, I…”   She stopped, at a loss for words.

           He moved close to her and grasped her chin, forcing her to look at him.   His eyes glinted into hers.   “We’ll finish this later,” he growled.    She stared at him, mesmerized, then nodded slowly.

           There would be no more waiting.

           Both remained silent in the turbolift, concentrating on getting themselves completely under control.   It wouldn’t do for the crew to see them flushed and out of breath.

           Just before they entered the mess hall, Chakotay paused, a hand on her arm.   She glanced up as he slid his hand over hers, gripping it tightly.  At her unspoken question, he explained, his voice determined.

           “I’m not going to hide any more, Kathryn, and neither are you.   We’re together in every way.”

           She bristled slightly at his autocratic tone and tried to pull her hand free.  “Not yet, we’re not!”

           He grinned wolfishly.  “We will be.”

           Before she could respond, he tugged her forward, activating the door.  They walked in to see the room packed with almost the entire crew.   Streamers and ribbons of every hue hung from the walls and ceiling, creating a kaleidoscope of brilliant colour.   Chairs and tables had been moved around to create a more informal atmosphere, while against one wall stood a long table, covered from one end to the other with food and drink.    The noise level was loud and increasing by the minute as everybody chattered happily to everyone else, relieved that not only were they alive but their ship was, too.

           The command team paused, their eyes running around the room, for the moment still unnoticed in the general hubbub.

           Then Chell spotted them and, his face beaming, called out a greeting as he hurried up, two glasses of champagne in his hands.

           “Captain!   Commander!   You’re here!   That’s wonderful!    Now the party can begin!”
 
           At the sound of his voice, everyone nearby stopped talking and turned to face them, their faces smiling and happy.   Naomi appeared from behind several crewmen, clutching a big bouquet of roses in a variety of colours.   She approached the captain and held them out, grinning cheerfully.

           “These are for you, Captain.”

           Kathryn took them, her mouth opening in surprise.  “Why Naomi!   Thank you!   But what’s the occasion?  It’s not my birthday…”

           Samantha spoke from behind her.  “They’re meant to say thank you, Captain, for all you’ve done for us.”   Her smile was warm.   “We wanted to do something for you.”

           Chell bustled forward once more.   “This is a celebration of spirit, Voyager’s spirit as well as the crew’s.   As our leader, you epitomize that.   You mean so much to us, Captain, and there isn’t a lot we can do to show you besides have a party and give you flowers…”

           “Well, we could give her a hug, couldn’t we?” spoke up Tom Paris, stepping forward.   As he reached Kathryn’s side, he took the bouquet from her suddenly nerveless fingers, passed it to Chakotay, then wrapped his arms around her.    He hugged her tightly for a full minute, before lifting his head and kissing her cheek.   Kathryn stared up at him, stunned, her eyes starting to fill.

           “Tom, thank you!  I don’t deserve…”

           “Yes, you do,” he interrupted.   “You deserve everything.   And that’s what this is all about.   To celebrate that you’re our captain, and even if we could, we would have no other.”

           He moved back as Harry came up to take his place, then the doctor followed by more of the crew.   Kathryn stood in a daze, overcome by the love her crew was showing her.   Even Seven, not one for physical demonstrations, kissed her cheek warmly.

           Chakotay remained by her side, his own heart full of gratitude towards these people who meant so much to them both.      Although he’d known the crew was organizing some sort of special occasion to lift her spirits, the scope of the celebration amazed him.     How they had managed to plan and accomplish it all while working so hard to complete repairs to the ship, he had no idea.
 
           The last to come forward was B’Elanna, Miral cradled in her arms.  “I can’t stay for very long, Captain.   Miral is still pretty young to be going to parties, but I wanted to bring her for a few minutes.”   She held out the sleeping child.   “Would you like to hold her?”

           Kathryn reached to take the baby, carefully supporting her head as she settled her in the crook of her arm.   “I haven’t had time to finish the blanket I’m making for her.   Perhaps now that we’ve got things under control, I can get at it again.”   She paused as Miral’s tiny mouth opened in a huge yawn.   “She’s such a beautiful baby…”

           Naomi came over to admire the child.   She reached up to tuck her little finger into Miral’s fist.   “Watch, Captain, the way she grabs hold.   Isn’t that funny?   Do all babies do that?”

           “All the ones I’ve seen, including you,” replied Kathryn, smiling down at her.

           “I did?!”

           “Oh yes.   And, when you were a little older, you loved to grab my hair and tug on it as hard as you could.   Remember, Samantha?”

           “Very well, Captain.   Naomi was a great one for pulling hair.”

           Kathryn lifted up Miral and kissed her forehead before handing her back to B’Elanna.   “Thank you for bringing her.   She’s part of our family, too.”

           B’Elanna nodded.   “I’ll come back later when she’s settled, Captain.   Tom will spell me off.”

           Kathryn nodded, then turned away as someone else claimed her attention.

           Half an hour later, with the roses now reposing in a large glass vase on the galley counter, Chell raised his arms for quiet.   Gradually, the room settled down as everyone turned to him.

           “It’s time for a toast to our gallant captain.  Has everyone got a full glass?  Yes?  Good.”   He turned to Chakotay.  “Commander, if you would do the honours…”
 
           Chakotay was more than a little surprised – he hadn’t expected to be asked to make a toast.   He picked up his glass, then looked at the woman beside him.

           “Seven years – it doesn’t seem to have been that long, and yet…we have come so far, seen so many fantastic sights, performed such incredible deeds.  And always, in front, leading us on, has been one person.   Physically not a very big person,” Kathryn rolled her eyes and groaned “thanks a lot!” as Chakotay smiled, “but her heart and her vision are bigger than all of us.

           “I believe, as I know all of you do too, that with her leading the way, we can do anything!   Including getting back to the Alpha Quadrant!”  His voice rose as the crew began to cheer.   “Ladies and gentlemen!   I give you the best captain any crew could ever have!   Kathryn Janeway!!”
 
           The roar echoed back and forth across the room as everyone raised their glasses, shouting their approval.

           “Kathryn Janeway!  The best!!”

           She stood there, openly crying now, for once not caring that her crew could see her.   Her heart was overflowing with joy.   To have them give her such support and love, after all they had been through and still had to go through, was more than anyone had a right to expect.

           As the noise began to abate, she gulped and reached for a handkerchief to wipe her streaming eyes.

           “I…I don’t know what to say.   This is overwhelming!   You all mean so much to me!   That you can trust me, believe in me, after…everything…I’m at a loss for words.”   She took a deep breath, trying to find some remnant of composure.   “I will say this.   A captain can’t lead if a crew won’t follow.   You have followed me through so many perils, again and again risking your lives, trusting in me.    Your faith inspires me to keep going.   Without it, I would have given up long ago.”

           Her voice strengthened.  “And I promise you this.   We will get home!   I don’t know how or when, but someday we will get there!”   She stopped, then lifted her glass.   “To the best crew any captain could ever ask for!   And to Voyager!    May we all see Earth again!”

           Once more, the cheers echoed around the mess hall as they all roared their approval.   As the noise level dropped to where he could make himself heard, Chell shouted that there was food and drink for everyone and they should all dig in.

           As a general rush began toward the long table, Kathryn stepped back to one side, watching them fondly.  What good people they were!    Chakotay had been right, they were one family, one community.   She realized now that in her self-imposed isolation, she had forgotten that.   Well, no more.   If they could give her such unwavering support, the least she could do was show them how much she appreciated it.

           She glanced around, as Chell came up to her, a large dish full of delicacies in his hand.  “Captain, the commander sent me to get you.   He has a table right over there and says you’re to come and sit down and eat something.   So I made up a plate for you.”

           Kathryn chuckled to herself.   Chakotay was becoming quite domineering nowadays, and she found she was rather enjoying it, as long as he didn’t forget who was captain.     She nodded her head, taking it from him.  “Thank you, Chell, that’s very kind of you.   I’ll go and join him.”

           She made her way over to where her first officer was ensconced at a table near the door.    He hooked out a chair with his foot.

           “Come and sit down.    I saved you the best seat.”

           She settled herself, placing the dish between them.   “Here, have some.   I can’t possibly eat all this.”   She picked up a canape and popped it in her mouth.   “Hmm, that’s delicious!   I think it’s got mushrooms in it.   Try one.”

           Chakotay wasted no time helping himself.   Very soon, the plate was empty.    He smiled at her contentedly, well pleased that she had eaten as much as she had.   “Would you like anything else?” he asked, not expecting that she would.
 
           “Oh no more to eat, thanks, I’m stuffed.   But if there’s some more champagne to be had…

           “I’ll see if I can find any…”

           Kathryn sat back in her chair, enjoying the sight of her crew at ease.   There was much coming and going, indeed someone had propped open the mess hall doors so the party could spread into the adjacent corridors.    Across the room, she could see several people moving tables and chairs while Harry and the Kimtones set up their instruments.

           Chakotay sat down again, placing two brimming glasses of champagne on the table.    “I got Chell to stash a couple of bottles for me, so we have an unlimited supply, well, almost unlimited.”

           She sipped from her glass, then held it up to his.   “My turn to make a toast.”

           “Oh?   Should I call for quiet?”

           “No, this is just for us.    To my very best friend, a man who has never stopped believing in me.   And without whom, I am nothing.”

           “Hear, hear.   I’ll drink to that,” he replied, as he sipped in turn.   “How about one more?”

           “Another?!     You’ll get me drunk on toasts!”

           “Last one, I promise.    To us and to new possibilities…”   His voice trailed off as he peered at her intently, leaving her in no doubt as to his meaning.

           She nodded slowly, her eyes fixed on his.   “To…new probabilities.”  And clinked her glass to his before drinking from it.   Chakotay’s heart soared as he read the unmistakable message in her eyes.   She wouldn’t push him away again.

           As they gazed at each other, quite oblivious to everyone else, Harry’s band struck up the first tune.   There were general shouts of “Captain, Commander!   Time to dance!”

           Chakotay put down his glass and placed hers beside it, before pulling her to her feet.   “I think they want us to lead the first dance.   Shall we?”

           She smiled up at him.   “By all means.”

           He led her on to the cleared floor and swept her into a waltz.   For a few minutes, they danced alone before the doctor took Seven’s hand and led her out.   Within minutes, more of the crew followed and soon the floor was crowded with bodies.

           The music changed to a faster rhythm and the command team stepped aside.    Tom intercepted them, requesting one dance with the captain before he had to go relieve B’Elanna.   She laughed, saying he really should find a younger partner, but he stated flatly that she was the best dancer there.

           “After your wife, of course?” she teased.

           He pretended to think.  “No, including my wife.”

           He smiled down at her as he spun her around, leading her effortlessly through a set of complicated steps.    Kathryn had not realized what a good dancer he was.   By the time the song ended, she was quite pink-faced with exertion.   “I need to sit down, Tom.   I’m not as young as I used to be.”

           He led her back to Chakotay, then kissed her hand.   “You’re the best in my book, Captain.”    He grinned cheerfully, bidding them all goodnight and headed out the door.

           Kathryn smiled fondly after him, then looked up as Chakotay brushed her fingers and picked up the glasses.   “Let me freshen up your champagne.   That’s gotten warm.”

           “Would you?  That would be great.”  She smiled happily.

           As he started across to the galley, B’Elanna came into the room.   She glanced around before spotting the captain, then made her way over.    “Hi.   Tom said you might still be here…”  She paused, obviously searching for the right words before giving up and just stating her thoughts bluntly.

           “Captain, Tom and I, we care about you – a lot.    And we’re hoping that if you find you need someone to talk to, besides Chakotay of course, that you’ll consider coming to one of us – or both, if you’d rather.    We owe you everything.    You’ve given us new lives, and we’d like to repay you in whatever way we can.”

           Kathryn smiled and reached to pat her hand.  “B’Elanna, that’s a very generous offer and one I may well take you up on.    Chakotay says I should make more friends among the crew and I can’t think of anyone I would rather have than you and Tom.”

           B’Elanna smiled and gripped her hand tightly for a few seconds before letting go.   “Good.”

           She glanced around as Chakotay came up to them, his face breaking into a warm smile when he saw her.     He handed Kathryn her glass, put his down, and held out his hand.   “Care to dance, B’Ela?”

           “Sure, if…you don’t mind, Captain?”

           “B’Elanna!   Of course not!   Besides, I’m still catching my breath after my turn around the floor with your husband.”

           Chakotay led her forward, swinging her into something smooth and Latin.  As Kathryn watched them, it struck her that they made a very handsome couple.   They were so at ease with one another, so comfortable.   ‘I wonder why they never got together,’ the thought flitted through her mind.  And then reminded herself that, for all she knew, maybe they had once, long ago.   She knew B’Elanna adored Tom and yet – there was a chemistry, a spark between these two.   Funny she’d never noticed it before.   She was still lost in ‘might-have-beens’ when they returned to her, B’Elanna’s eyes dancing as she laughed at something he’d said.

           “Thanks, Chakotay, that was great.”

           He squeezed her hand.   “You’re more than welcome, B’Elanna.”

           Harry came up just then to claim her for the next dance, and she excused herself to follow him onto the floor.

           Kathryn sat smiling to herself.

           “Penny for your thoughts?” came Chakotay’s warm voice close to her ear.

           She shivered but kept her gaze on the dancers.   “Oh, nothing – everything.    I…can I ask you a personal question?”

           “Sure, what?”

           “Did you ever have a…different relationship with B’Elanna?”

           “How do you mean ‘different’?”

           “I mean a romance.”

           “No.”   He paused, sighing slightly as his eyes followed her gaze.   “I won’t deny that I considered it once or twice, but the circumstances were never right, and by the time they were, I didn’t want to anymore.”

           She turned to look at him.   “Why not?”

           His eyes bored into her.   “Because I’d already started to fall in love with you.”

           She caught her breath at the passion in his gaze, feeling her body react.

           “Kathryn,” his voice was low, intense.   “What do you say we take our leave?   We have some…unfinished business.”

           She nodded, her eyes never leaving his face.   “All right.”

           He stood abruptly, then pulled her up and led her across the room, detouring into the galley to retrieve one of the bottles.   He tucked it under his arm as they slipped out the door.    With the low lighting and the crush of bodies, very few noticed their silent departure.

           The corridor was temporarily deserted and they were able to reach the turbolift without being seen.    Minutes later, they were standing at her door.

           Kathryn entered her code and led the way into her quarters.

           “Let me get off these shoes while you open that.  You know where the glasses are.”

           Chakotay nodded and fished two champagne flutes out of the cabinet near the replicator.    He broke the seal and eased off the cork just as she came back, her feet bare.   He handed her a glass, then poured one for himself before bringing the bottle over to the coffee table and seating himself in the chair.    Kathryn curled up at the near end of the couch and raised her glass.

           “What shall we drink to?  I’ve run out of toasts!”
 
          He laughed at her.  “Why not to the beneficial effects of champagne?”

           She grinned at him from under her lashes.   “Sounds good to me.”

          They sipped slowly, relaxed in the quiet.   She put down her glass, then ordered the computer to play a selection of romantic ballads.     As the soft notes whispered through the room, she stood up and grasped his hand.   “Dance with me?”

           He rose, kicking off his shoes, then pulled her into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her as they moved slowly about the open space between the desk and coffee table.

           Kathryn’s arms were wrapped around his neck, her face nudging into his shoulder.    She inhaled deeply, filling her nostrils with his scent.   Her brain was all fuzzy and warm from the champagne and his proximity.  Her world, her universe had shrunk to him; she was lost in him as he filled her mind to the exclusion of everything else.

           Chakotay’s face was buried in her hair, his eyes closed as he pressed her body against him.    All he could think of was that finally she was his, in every way.   After all their trials and tribulations, all the wrong turns, somehow, they had found their way to each other.   He felt his heart soar with joy and love.   No matter what happened in the next minute, the next hour, right now, his world was perfect.    He sighed with happiness and lifted his head, kissing her forehead gently.

           She opened one eye to peer up at him, then stretched up just enough to brush his lips with hers.   He held his breath at her feather-light touch, then as she started to move back, lifted her up right off her feet, and kissed her hard.

           Kathryn felt her body explode with desire.    She wanted him, now, hard and fast.   Her legs came up to wrap around his waist as she gripped his shoulders tightly, her mouth finding his, tongue out, demanding.    His hands slid down to support her bottom, holding her in place, as his tongue tangled with hers.   The gentleness of a moment before was replaced by driving lust.

           Without letting go, Chakotay moved to the nearest wall and braced her against it as he fumbled with his pants.   A moment later, he got them open and pulled out his rigid penis, stiff with need.   Kathryn felt his fingers tug at her panties, then yank them until they tore.    She moaned and arched her hips, her ankles locking around his back.

           Still kissing her, Chakotay tried to ram his penis into her, but the angle was wrong and he couldn’t get it in.    She twisted, trying to help, then broke the kiss and leaned back against the wall.    As the angle of her hips changed, he suddenly found the right spot and drove in as far as he could.

           For a few seconds, he kept still, letting her adjust to his size, but then he could hold back no longer.    He groaned as lust overtook him, and began to thrust hard, grunting with effort.

           Kathryn had felt him fill her to the point where she thought she’d burst.   Now, as he moved deep inside her, his penis massaged her g-spot, sending wave after wave roiling through her.    Before she knew it, she was climaxing again and again, her body convulsing as he swelled even more, then ejaculated, spurting hot semen to flood her womb.    She howled in ecstasy, responding to him on the most primal level.

           On and on it went for both of them, seven years of denial and longing bursting out of them in the most intense orgasm either had ever experienced.

           Finally, exhausted and spent, Chakotay collapsed to his knees, his softening penis still embedded in Kathryn.    She straddled him, for the moment too weary to move.    Each rested their head on the other’s shoulder, panting for air.

           Eventually, he lifted his head to peer at her.   “Kathryn?” he whispered softly, “you okay?”

           She raised her face to meet him.  “Yes.   More than ‘okay’.   Wonderful, fabulous, I…can’t think of words that can describe what I’m feeling right now!”   She reached for his head, bending close to kiss him.   “Oh my love!”

           He smiled from ear to ear, his eyes reflecting her joy.   “I always believed that when we finally came together, it would be incredible, but this!  Kathryn, I’ve never felt this way with anyone!   Ever!   I love you so much.   I can’t be separated from you any more.   Please tell me we can be together.”  His heart was in his eyes, pleading with her, and she knew she couldn’t refuse him.

           “I don’t know how, Chakotay, but we will find a way to make it work.   Because I can’t go back either.   I need you here, in my life, in every way.”

           He let out a big sigh of relief, then groaned as his knees began to protest.   “I have to move, sweetheart, I’m cramping up.”

           Kathryn slid back, then helped him to his feet, before leading him into the bathroom.    She turned on the taps for the bathtub, as they stripped off the rest of their clothes and climbed in.    Chakotay sat behind her, his arms wrapped around her torso, face nuzzling the back of her neck.

           He sighed in her ear, murmuring.  “I used to dream about doing this, on New Earth, night after night.   You’d go out to that tub after supper and it was all I could do not to follow.”

           She chuckled.  “Might have been better if you had, you could have saved us a lot of grief.”

           “Maybe, but, you know, I think we needed that time apart, because now we can appreciate this more than ever.”

           His hands came up to caress her breasts, cupping them, fingering the nipples, letting them fill his hands.   Kathryn leaned back and closed her eyes, as she spread her legs over his, enjoying the feel of the warm water as well as his touch.    He felt so good, just as she’d always known he would.   She wouldn’t give him up, not now, no matter what protocol said.   She’d waited long enough, almost too long, for him.   The thought put her in mind of a question she’d been wanting to ask for several days.

           “Chakotay?”

           “Hmm?”  His voice sounded sleepy.

           “I assume you sorted out everything with Seven?   I mean, she does know about us – doesn’t she?”

           “Yes, sweetheart, she knows.”

           He remained silent until she was forced to ask.   “Uh, what happened exactly?”

           “You really want to know?  Now?!”

           Kathryn craned around to look at him.   “Yes.   Now.”

           He shook his head ruefully.  “There isn’t much to tell, actually.   She came to see me, let’s see, the second night after we landed in the Gamma Quadrant.   She said she had come to the realization that we were not suitable for one another.   You know Seven, how stilted she can sound…”

           Kathryn nodded and he continued.   “I asked exactly what she was getting at.  So she told me how, in the first moments after we exited the conduit, when I went to help you up from the deck and it looked like you were going to come apart, she realized that there was a part of me, a big part, that she would never have, that belonged to you.   And further, she knew that you were going to need every bit of support you could get, especially from me, if we were to have any hope at all of holding it all together.   So she decided, there and then, that for the good of the ship as well as you, she would end our relationship.   And she did.”

           Kathryn stared at him as the full weight of Seven’s sacrifice hit her.  “The needs of the many…” she murmured.

           He nodded.   “Exactly.”

           She sighed and settled back against him.  “I owe her a debt, a big one.   I must tell her that…”

           “We both do, Kathryn.   And we will tell her.”

           “Yes, you’re right, we should tell her together.”   She closed her eyes again.

           They stayed there for a little longer until Chakotay complained that he was turning into a prune.   She muttered that he really was becoming far too dictatorial, but he ignored her, scrambling out of the tub and drying himself before turning to pull her up.    The sight of all that gorgeous maleness standing before her was enough to remind her that she was wasting time lying in a bathtub when there were much more pleasurable things she could be doing.

           She grinned at him, then reached out a hand to cup his scrotum and tickle the sensitive spot just behind it.   He remained still, legs spread, letting her play with him.    She released him long enough to climb out of the tub, then still dripping, sat down on the edge and tugged him closer until she could slide her tongue over his soft penis.   Very slowly she licked up and down before pulling the head into her mouth and sucking on it.  He groaned as he hardened instantly, and steadied himself, his hands on her head for balance.   She pulled back, then dug the end of her tongue into his slit, her hands gripping his buttocks, massaging.

           She could feel lust rippling through her as heat began to build in her groin.    She grinned lasciviously as an idea flitted into her head.   Well, why not?   She’d fantasized occasionally about doing it…could be fun.

           Again her mouth encased his penis and she took him in as far as she could.     His hips jerked convulsively as desire shot through him.   He could feel the passion coiling deep inside, making his body throb as it began to spread.

           “Kathryn,” he moaned, his eyes open, watching her suck on him.   Oh god!  He was going to burst!   “Kathryn!  Stop!   I can’t hold it!”

           She lifted her head, fascinated by the swollen, purple head right in front of her eyes.   She could see a large drop of fluid seep out of the slit and leaned forward, tongue out, to taste it.   Engorging even more, Chakotay groaned again in delicious agony.

           She slid sideways, then stood up and reached out a hand to grasp his erection, sliding her hand up and down.   He wobbled, then swiveled around until he was able to brace himself against the counter, his hands gripping the edge tightly.   His breath was coming in great pants as he forced himself to hang on, wanting to prolong the moment for as long as possible.
 
           Kathryn’s thumb slid across his tip, and she pushed into the slit just enough to make him feel it.   He caught his breath as the slight pain jarred his senses, and lost the last vestige of control.    He threw back his head and howled as his hips jerked frantically, jets of semen shooting across the room.  Again and again he spurted, as her hand gripped his penis, palpating and massaging it.

           As it emptied and then softened, Chakotay’s head fell forward to hang on his chest as he tried to catch his breath.   Kathryn gave him one final pat, then moved to the sink to wash her fingers.   His eyes followed her but he didn’t speak until she turned to grin at him.

           “You enjoyed that, didn’t you?” he told her, almost accusingly.

           She shrugged her shoulders.  “Yes.   It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.   Needless to say, there hasn’t been much opportunity…”

           “What about Michael?  Or when you were on Quarra?”

           “Nope, didn’t want to do it with either of them.”

           “Just with me, huh?”

           She leaned very close and kissed him gently.   “Just with you.”

           He chuckled.   “Then I’m flattered.”   He moved away from the counter.    “Let’s go to bed.”

           “And do what?” she teased.

           “Sleep, darlin’, just sleep.  I’m too tired for anything else right now.”

           She laughed at him, but led the way to the bedroom.   However, as she opened a drawer to pull out a nightgown, he stopped her.   “With me, you sleep naked.”

           “But…what if I get cold?”

           “You won’t.”

           “You’re quite the one for giving orders these days, aren’t you?”   She had meant only to tease, but Chakotay’s face was solemn.

           “Out there, Kathryn, you’re the captain, that hasn’t changed and it won’t.   But in here, it’s just you and me.   If there’s something I want, something I need, I’ll tell you.   Just as I expect you to tell me if there’s something you want.   And right now, I want, I need you in that bed, naked.   Okay?”

           She stared up at him, then nodded.   “Fair enough.”

           She climbed under the covers as he slid in the other side, settling down on the pillows, eyelids fluttering closed.   She leaned on her elbow, studying his face, then as he opened one eye, she bent to kiss him.   He smiled and closed his eyes again, his arm going around her as he pulled her against his side.    Very soon they both slept.
 

                                           =^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=
 

           Early the following morning, Kathryn awoke to the feel of a solid, warm body curled around her.   Her eyes opened as she sighed happily.   How marvelous to have him in her bed, keeping her warm, safe, secure.   She hadn’t realized how much she’d needed this – a sense of completion, of her life falling into place as it ought.   She lay still, content to enjoy the faint sound of his breathing, the slight scent that was uniquely his and which she could never quite define.

           Her heart swelled with joy as she acknowledged what she should have realized long before – Chakotay was part of her, an essential part, that she simply couldn’t do without.    She needed him, in every way that mattered.    Fortunately for her, he needed her just as much.

           She remembered how, so long ago on New Earth, he had told her she brought him peace.   She hadn’t realized at the time what he brought her – a serenity that she had never found with anyone else.     After they had returned to the ship and been forced to resume their command faces, on a subliminal level she had been aware of a vague discomfort, a restlessness that she could never assuage no matter what she did.   It had taken another five years and being tossed into the Gamma Quadrant for her to finally understand.   Without him, she could merely exist; with him, she could live her life to the fullest.   It didn’t matter where they were, or in what circumstances.   As long as they were together, all was right with their world.

           She smiled again, and rolled over to face him.    She caressed his cheek lightly until his eyes fluttered open and he smiled sleepily at her.

           “Is it time to get up?” he murmured, yawning.

           “No, not yet.”

           “Then…what is it?”

           “Nothing.   I just like touching you.   Then I can let myself believe you’re really here, that it’s not all a dream…”

           He turned toward her and let his fingers tease her nipples, stroking them, before yawning again.   Moving closer to her, he settled his head on her shoulder and buried his face in her breast.   Her arm came around to hold him in place as he closed his eyes, her fingers gently stroking the thick black hair as she dozed off again.    Soon enough, they would have to rise and shoulder command once more.   But for now, they could rest a little longer.

The End
 

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