Rating: NC-17
Notes: For the purposes of this story, C/7 never happened.
Set a month or two after Voyager’s return to Earth.
By Mary S.
Kathryn Janeway lay sprawled next to Chakotay beside an open fire on the beach at Lake George; opposite them, propped up against a log, lounged Tom and B’Elanna Paris. On the hillside behind perched an old, weather-beaten cabin, one that had known generations of Janeways. The sky overhead gleamed bright with familiar constellations, stars that none of them had seen for seven years. Around and over them wafted a night breeze, warm and soft, gently caressing their bodies.
The day before, weary of the constant media attention, the ‘heroes of the Delta Quadrant’ had decided to escape. Kathryn had desperately wanted some private time with Chakotay to enjoy their still-new romance, and the Parises had agreed to come along to help deflect a lot of unwanted speculation about the personal relationship between the captain and commander.
“We’ll be your chaperons,” Tom had commented, bursting into gales of laughter at the thought. Kathryn had started to retort that they were far past the age of needing chaperons when he’d silently pointed across the officers mess to where Starfleet’s press corps were sitting down for their weekly lunch together.
She’d sighed, then nodded. From a public relations point of view, and these days that was all she ever heard, Starfleet wanted their command team to maintain a professional decorum, at least for the time being. Romantic trysts definitely did not fall into that category, which was why she’d begged Tom and B’Elanna to come with them. They had been quick to agree, quite happy to give Miral over to the care of her doting grandparents for a few days, while they enjoyed some time to themselves.
Now, some twenty-four hours later, Kathryn told herself she was as close to heaven as she’d ever get. Here, she could allow herself to relax completely, do absolutely nothing, and, excepting present company, not worry about anyone or anything else. She sighed happily and let her thoughts wander at will, only vaguely aware of the voices rising and falling around her.
It was some time before she realized what topic their conversation had drifted to.
Talk had begun with a discussion of their crewmates and what each was doing, now that they were home. From there, it had led to reminiscing about the many different relationships on the ship, and how they had all turned out. B’Elanna and Chakotay were both chuckling at Tom’s humorous comments until he paused for breath and then uttered fateful words.
“Of course, then there were you two.”
B’Elanna stiffened as Chakotay glanced down at Kathryn, who appeared to be staring absently at the stars.
“What do you mean, ‘you two’?” B’Elanna demanded, in a suddenly cold tone.
“Just what I said,” retorted Tom. “You were best buddies, like brother and sister, still are, for that matter. No one else on Voyager had a relationship like yours.”
Chakotay could barely make out B’Elanna relax, imperceptibly easing her body back down against the log. A thought flashed through his brain – he shook his head, dismissing it. Impossible – she’d never felt that way about him. Had she?
He got to his feet and stood, staring at the full moon rising over the hills on the opposite side of the lake. A perfect moonbeam danced across the water, rippling here and there in the slight breeze.
“I’m going to stretch my legs,” he announced, and turned to head along the beach.
B’Elanna suddenly rose as well. “Wait a minute,” she called. “I’ll come with you.”
He paused until she caught up with him, and together they disappeared into the shadows of the trees overhanging the shoreline.
Tom shrugged his shoulders, and moved to sit beside Kathryn, who was struggling to get up.
“Want a hand?” he asked, reaching as he spoke to grasp her arm.
“Oh, thanks.” She clambered to her feet. “I didn’t realize how stiff I’d gotten.”
She twisted her neck, trying to work out the kinks. Tom tugged her to sit down on a log, then moved to stand behind her and rub her shoulders. “See if this helps.”
Kathryn stiffened, old memories surfacing, then pushed them aside, and allowed herself to enjoy Tom’s ministrations. Although his fingers weren’t as skilled as Chakotay’s, they were quite capable of easing the knots from her neck and back. She sighed gratefully and turned to thank him.
The look on his face stunned her into silence.
He was staring at her, almost hungrily, his eyes dark with passion. She peered at him, astonished, then found her tongue. “Tom?” she called softly.
He blinked and shook his head, then glanced at her quickly before looking away. However, she caught the flush of embarrassment reddening his cheeks, and rose to stand in front of him. Her fingers caught his chin, holding his face to the light. He bit his lip, but kept his eyes on her, not trying to hide his feelings.
Kathryn gazed at him for a moment longer, then dropped her hand and plunked herself down on the log again. She stared intently at the sand before speaking. “How long have you felt this way?”
He shrugged and sat next to her. “A long time, a very long time. Since I first saw you on my father’s ship.” He shrugged slightly. “I think you were about twenty-four.”
She fell silent again, thinking. ‘That would have been just after I was posted to the Al-Batani. He would have been, let’s see, around fourteen.’ Her face creased in a slight smile, as she speculated on what might have happened if circumstances had been a little different – if he had been older, or she younger. Beside her, Tom sat still, waiting for her to say something. Eventually she looked up at him, then seeing his worried frown, smiled and reached up to caress his cheek.
He relaxed, smiling in turn. “You’re not mad?” he asked.
“No, I’m not mad, just…surprised, I guess, as well as a little flattered. I never suspected, you know. All these years, you’ve hidden it very well.”
He shrugged again. “I always knew there was no chance at all that you could ever return my feelings, and in a way, I didn’t want you to. Unrequited and unacknowledged love can make a person feel incredibly noble, and there were times when I needed to know I could still feel that way. You’re an empowering woman, Kathryn, more than you realize.”
He bent to kiss her gently on the cheek. However, as his mouth touched her skin, she turned her head, so that instead, he brushed her lips. He froze for an instant, then pressed down slightly, allowing his tongue to come out and lightly stroke her lower lip. She cupped his jaw, but made no other move to touch him. After a minute, he lifted his head to stare down at her.
“Why did you let me kiss you?” he whispered.
“I wanted to, and I think you did, too.” She paused and took a deep breath, then got to her feet. “And now we have.” Her voice held a tone of finality and she turned to start up the path to the cabin.
“Kathryn?” Tom called almost plaintively. “Stay with me for a while? I don’t want to sit out here by myself.”
She glanced over her shoulder, then came back to settle down against the log. After a minute, she looked up at him, then held out her hand. He sat beside her, and put his arm companionably around her shoulders. She turned to lean her head on his shoulder and nestled into him. Tom let her get settled, then sighed contentedly.
“We would have been good, you know,” he whispered into her hair.
“Hmm, maybe.”
“We would have, I’m sure of it.”
Kathryn
smiled and let her eyes drift closed, as she sank into a light doze.
=^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=
Meanwhile, Chakotay and B’Elanna walked slowly along the shoreline, conversing in low voices. When she tripped over a stone hidden in the shadows, he grabbed her arm to keep her from falling, then kept hold of her hand as they strolled. Eventually, they found a comfortable-looking log and sat down.
Both remained silent for several minutes, before he looked at her face, profiled in the moonlight. “How are you really, B’Ela? Are you settling in all right to life in the Alpha Quadrant? Our lives changed so suddenly and so completely…” he paused. “I’ve been worried about you.”
She squeezed his hand. “I…there have been some difficult moments, certainly, but I think it’s all starting to come together. The baby has certainly helped where Tom’s family is concerned. They’re so delighted with her, that, right now anyway, we can do no wrong. I don’t know how long that will last…” She fell silent again, then turned to face him and reached up to stroke his face. “I’ve missed you – dreadfully at times. We’d been together for so long, and then suddenly, you weren’t there anymore.
“Don’t get me wrong – Tom is wonderful and I love him very much. But what you and I share has always been very special to me. For a lot of years, you were all the family I had.” Her voice fell to a whisper. “I don’t ever want to lose that, Chakotay.”
He smiled warmly at her and moved to wrap his arms around her, hugging her tightly. “Neither do I, B’Ela, neither do I.” She lay her head on his shoulder, relaxing against him.
Chakotay’s mind jumped again to the thought that had occurred earlier, and then further back, to times in the Maquis, years before. He shook his head slightly as if to shake loose the memory, then rested his chin on her head.
They sat for a few moments more before B’Elanna straightened up. “I guess they’re wondering where we are,” she explained as she got to her feet.
He held her hand, staring up at her, then nodded and rose as well. He started to follow her, then paused, unconsciously tugging on her hand. When she turned back to look at him, his face wore an odd expression, one she couldn’t interpret. He gazed down at her, then smiled a bit sheepishly. “Sorry, it was just a stray thought.”
“What was?”
“Something that used to cross my mind occasionally, years ago. Never mind, it’s not important.”
He made to move on, but now she was the one to hold back. “Chakotay! You can’t leave it at that! What was it?”
He looked at the ground for a moment before lifting his head. “Just that – sometimes I used to wonder what it would have been like if you and I’d had a…different relationship. I hadn’t thought of it for a long time, but a little while ago, and just now holding you, it came back to me.”
She stared at him, her breath caught in her throat. “You mean a…romantic…relationship?!”
“Yes. Silly idea, isn’t it? I don’t know where it came from originally.”
She gulped, remembering how often she had dreamed of that very possibility. “No,” she whispered, “I don’t think it’s silly.” She gazed up at him wistfully. “Sometimes…I used to wonder the same thing.”
He moved closer. “Did you? I never knew that… I wish I had.”
She took a step toward him. “Really? Well, perhaps it wasn’t meant to be.”
He closed
the remaining distance between them, his hands coming up to cup her face.
“Perhaps not,” he murmured, as he bent to lightly brush his mouth across
hers. She moaned slightly, then reached up to slide her hands
around his neck, straining upwards to deepen the kiss. His
tongue came out and slid into her willing mouth, sweeping through, tangling
with hers, before he gradually withdrew. He lifted his head
to stare down at her. Her eyes were huge, filled with passion,
which gradually began to fade.
“We better
stop, before we do something we’ll both regret,” he murmured.
She nodded and moved away, looking down for a moment before her eyes came up to his, a rueful smile on her face. “God, you’re good! It would have been something, wouldn’t it?”
He grinned. “Indeed it would have.” He held out his hand. “Come on. I think we better find your husband and my lover and call it a night.”
They returned to the fire, to find Tom and Kathryn nearly asleep, wrapped up together, propped comfortably against the log. They glanced at them, then at each other, eyebrows raised in speculation – another possibility never realized? Maybe. Chakotay shrugged and bent to nudge Kathryn, as B’Elanna roused Tom.
The pair blinked, then came awake and sat up, moving apart a little shamefacedly. Kathryn yawned, then rose to her feet and stretched.
“My goodness,
I didn’t realize how late it is. No wonder we’re tired.”
B’Elanna
tugged on Tom’s hand, pulling him to his feet, then smiled affectionately
at him. “Come on, helmboy, time for bed.”
He grinned at her, and hugged her briefly, before starting up the path to the cabin. Their goodnights echoed back through the darkness.
As they disappeared, Chakotay doused the fire, and Kathryn collected the blankets. In a few minutes, they also headed to the cabin. He tidied up the main room while she was in the bathroom, then joined her as she climbed into bed.
Kathryn lay propped up on the pillows, watching as he stripped off his clothes, and slid under the covers. He reached for her, pulling her into his arms. She closed her eyes and relaxed against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat echoing through her head, just as she did every night. Normally, his rhythm was enough to lull her to sleep quickly, but tonight she found herself wide awake. She could feel a slight tension in his body and knew he was awake, too.
“Chakotay?” she finally whispered.
“Hmm?” His voice sounded as if he were far away.
“What did you talk about with B’Elanna?”
He caught his breath, tensing slightly. “Oh – nothing in particular.” He paused. “Why?”
“I just wondered. You were gone a long time.”
He was silent for nearly a minute, debating how he should reply, but the memory of her cuddled up against Tom prompted him. “Among other things, we discussed…possibilities.”
Now it was her turn to tense. “What sort of possibilities?”
“Ones that could have happened – and didn’t.”
“Oh.”
“She wanted to know something, and so did I.”
“I see.” Her voice was very low. “And did you find out?”
“Yes.”
Kathryn slid back enough to push up onto her elbows and peer into his face. She stared at him, then lifted one hand and touched his lips.
“Are these still mine?”
“Always,” came his heartfelt whisper. “Don’t ever doubt how much I love you. I just…it was something I used to wonder about occasionally, a long time ago.”
“What it was like to kiss her?”
“Yes.”
She settled down again, laying her head on his chest. “Was it nice?”
“Yes, it was. But…now I know – and so does she. And that’s the end of it.”
“Good.” She turned her head to nuzzle him, then let her tongue come out and slowly lick his nipple. He groaned and clutched her shoulders.
She bit down slightly, even as her hand slid down his body, caressing and stimulating. In minutes, he was on top of her, driving into her, crying her name as he climaxed. Kathryn felt his hot semen flood her and let herself relax – he was hers and he always would be. She thrust hard against him, gripping his penis inside her, milking him, until he softened and slid out of her.
After, when they had cleaned up and settled into bed again, he stroked her hair as he reflected. “Kathryn?”
“Mmm?”
“You and Tom were pretty cosy when we came back to the fire.”
“Mmmm.”
“Did you ever consider…other possibilities?”
“Mmmmm.”
The End