Disclaimer: We know who owns these characters. Paramount Pictures, I freely admit that you own all rights to them and no infringement is intended.
The mutterings for a sequel to 'Time and Tides' grew to a dull roar. This is for those of you who want the whole enchilada and more of a resolution for J/C than I gave them. Thanks Autopilot, for reading!
This is the sequel to my Endgame episode addition, Time and Tides, which can be found here. This won't make much sense unless you have read Time and Tides.
Rated NC-17
Kathryn Janeway sat in her ready room, a cup of coffee in front of her. On the other side of the desk, with an equally large mug in front of her sat… Kathryn Janeway.
Voyager's current Captain studied her double across the desk. "Your story is too unbelievable not to be true," she said. "And the Doctor confirms you are indeed me. Or I will become you." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Temporal science gives me..."
"... A headache." Both Janeways finished simultaneously.
The newly arrived Janeway looked at her slightly younger self. "It was harder for me. When the Admiral arrived on board she drank only tea. I was sure that meant she was an imposter." She took a healthy gulp of the cooling coffee.
The Captain leaned across the ready room desk. "All right. I accept what you've told me about the Admiral's temporal jump, and that you made it safely home. The Maquis are free, even the Equinox crew is discharged without stigma. But you haven't told me the reason that you... you who are me, have just given up everything we've ever dreamed about to come back, only a couple of months before we finally make it home thanks to the Admiral." She narrowed her eyes and regarded the new arrival. "What aren't you telling me? It must be something very important. Who dies? Whose happiness is at stake?" She leaned back in the chair, folding her arms and waited for the answer.
Her double answered with a question of her own. "Let me quote your words back at you, Kathryn. You say I've given up everything we've ever dreamed about. Tell me what that is?"
The Captain's face mirrored her confusion. "You know exactly what that is. I want to get this ship home. I want to be back on Earth again. To see my mother, my sister. Hell, I even want to see my dog!"
"Keep going. There's more and we both know it. Speak the words out loud that you carry in your heart."
The silence lengthened. "Chakotay," the Captain said at last. "It's about Chakotay."
Her double nodded. "I haven't told you his story yet. Either of his stories come to that. Can we go to your quarters? I think we need time, privacy, and a replicator that will dispense a good shot of brandy."
The Captain studied her, then nodded. "Follow me."
They left through the bridge. It was the first time that the bridge crew had seen the two Janeways together, although they were aware of the new arrival. Chakotay stood as they approached a smile on his face.
"Welcome to our ship, Captain," he said. "But I have to admit I'm not totally sure which one of you is my Captain."
One of the Janeways stepped forward. She placed a hand on his chest, in a gesture totally familiar to all who watched. She swallowed hard, and the watching crew could see tightly reined in emotion on her expressive face.
"Chakotay," she whispered. "I've missed you so much." And stepping close to the startled Commander, she wrapped a hand tightly around the back of his neck and drew his face down to hers. The kiss wasn't long, but it was intense. When she released him, Chakotay gently touched his own lips, as if to verify the existence of the kiss.
"Now I know," he said quietly to the woman in front of him. "Thank you."
He raised his eyes to his Captain, standing like a statue in front of them. "Thank you, Kathryn." He repeated the words to her and returned to sit in his chair.
In the silence that followed, the two Janeways crossed to the turbolift and disappeared.
In the lift, the Captain turned to her double. "What the hell did you do that for?" she demanded. "What happened to our professionalism and protocol, not to mention the fact that you've now embarrassed me… us... in front of the entire bridge crew. Which incidentally, as you well know, means the story will be around the ship in less time than you can say 'transwarp hub'".
Her double leaned against the wall of the lift. "I know," she said smugly. "A picture is worth a thousand words. I think I got our point across. I estimate that Chakotay will be beating the door of your quarters down about five minutes after his shift ends, so I suggest we don't waste any more time."
"What were you trying to prove?" Janeway wasn't going to let the subject go that easily.
"I was getting the point across to a few people."
"Just who exactly?" Janeway folded her arms and glared at her doppelganger across the turbolift.
"Chakotay. You... and Seven."
"Seven?" Janeways stare was steely. "What exactly does she have to do with this?"
"All in good time, Kathryn. Let's get to our... your... quarters. I think we're going to need that brandy."
Inside the Captain's quarters, the older Kathryn crossed to the replicator. "Computer, two large brandies with ice."
The replicator delivered the order and she looked smug. "At least the replicator believes me." She handed one glass to her silent companion. " Sláinte."
They sipped in silence.
" Sláinte," said the elder Janeway. "A greeting we learned from Michael Sullivan, during the time when we honestly believed we could set aside our love for Chakotay and seek physical release in the arms of a hologram. It didn't work, did it?" She continued at the shake of her companion's head. "He wasn't much of a lover, for all we tried to manipulate his program. Now Chakotay.... Chakotay is one hell of a lover."
She watched under lowered lashes to see how Kathryn was taking this. "Kathryn..." She shook her head decisively. "This is confusing. Since it's your ship, you can have our name. You are Kathryn. I am Kath. Aren't you going to say something?"
Kathryn was sitting on the couch, reflexively sipping the brandy but saying nothing. In truth, she didn't know what she thought of this, let alone what to say. Her head was still reeling from watching herself... Kath... kiss Chakotay on the bridge. Tom's snicker was still loud in her ear. Part of her badly wanted to hear Kath's story; part of her wanted nothing to do with it. Not if it meant shattering her carefully constructed defenses.
I'll start at the beginning," said Kath. "When the Admiral came back in time, from twenty-six years into the future. She would have arrived in about two months if I hadn't changed anything. But two months time is too late for you and Chakotay."
Kathryn listened to the fantastic tale of the Admiral's arrival; the journey back to the Alpha Quadrant slipstreaming on the underbelly of a Borg sphere. She heard about the Admiral's sacrifice to get her crew home and about the trials and release of the Maquis and the Equinox crew. And then finally, Kath started to talk about Chakotay and Seven.
"The Admiral told me that Seven died in about three years time. She said she died in the arms of her husband - Chakotay."
Kathryn drew in a sucking breath before she could stop herself, and strove to conceal her instinctive reaction from Kath. But when she met her eyes again, she saw that Kath was studying her, a wry smile on her lips.
"It's all right," she said. "I had the same reaction. But the Admiral told me as we were pacing the corridors on Deck Nine. It was harder for me to conceal the shock I felt upon learning that Chakotay married someone who wasn't me."
She continued. "You think that you and Chakotay have an unspoken agreement. And you're quite right, you do, and Chakotay knows that and is waiting for you. But in a few weeks, Seven is going to go to Chakotay and ask if he would like to date." Her mouth twisted. "I'm sure that in Seven's normal inimitable fashion she will be as subtle as a shuttle crash, but whatever her approach, it will work. Chakotay will think that there is no harm dating Seven. He loves you, and thinks his heart is safe."
Kathryn caught her breath. Chakotay still loved her, after all this time. She bent her head to hide the sheen of moisture in her eyes and took another sip of the brandy.
"Chakotay will enjoy being her teacher," continued Kath, "but in my timeline they aren't intimate until the night that the Admiral comes on board, two months from now. Then Seven will ask Chakotay, oh so sweetly, to initiate her into the gentle art of lovemaking and he will agree. Chakotay's boosters are current, but little Miss Seven has a few nanoprobes up her sleeve -- or rather in her ovaries. Seven will conceive, a deliberate act, that has neither Chakotay's knowledge or consent."
Kathryn felt a physical pain in her chest. She didn't want to hear anymore; she could only guess at the pain this would cause Chakotay, and the outcome seemed assured. "Let me guess," she said hoarsely. "When we get home, after the debriefings, Chakotay will come to me and say he's sorry, he loves me, but he's staying with Seven because of the baby."
"More or less," agreed Kath. "You will go to him though, deliberately choosing a time when Seven is away on Vulcan. And you will share a night of lovemaking, so deep, so profound and so soul-shaking for both of you, that once again you will risk anything to bring that love to completion. I'm going to tell you about it. How we made love on a rug in front of the window, with an Arizona desert landscape outside. We only had one night, Kathryn, but before the sun came up he and I had joined together four times, and each time was more perfect than the time before." Her mouth lifted slightly in memory. "Believe me, he's a hell of a lover. Remember when we thought Jaffen's lovemaking was good? Well, he's nothing on Chakotay. His hands, his mouth... He's slow, considerate, incredibly responsive, and the best thing, Kathryn? The best thing is he loves you totally and without reservation. I left him the next morning when he was in the shower. His seed was sticky on my thighs, my body was sweaty with the exertion of the night and his scent was all over me. I walked back to the transport station and transported back to Indiana. I didn't shower for three days, as I couldn't bear to lose this last part of him. But I plotted. And I formed the plan that has brought me back here, so that you can have a final chance."
She looked at Kathryn. "Don't let him slip through your fingers this time. Because I think we're out of chances after this. If you don't act now, then I think Seven will bring forward her plan to ask Chakotay for a date. She's not stupid. She may not know exactly why I'm here, but I know she wants Chakotay."
Kathryn looked at the woman opposite her on the couch. This woman was her, yet wasn't. And everything she said made sense. Her most persistent daydream was of getting home, claiming Chakotay for her own as they flew into orbit around Earth. Kissing him on the bridge, in front of the crew, much as Kath had done. But one thing nagged at her. There was one missing link in Kath's plan.
"Forget Chakotay for the moment," she said. "You say we will reach the area around the Borg transwarp hub in approximately two months. By then we will have the new technology installed on Voyager. But what about the Borg Queen? The Admiral was assimilated to spread the virus that destroyed the collective and lost her life. How will we destroy the Queen without the Admiral?"
Kath smiled sadly. "I haven't thought of a way around that yet," she admitted. "I think the only way is for me to play the Admiral's role and deliver the virus. I have it with me, in anticipation of that need."
"No." Kathryn was definite. "No. I won't let you."
"You can't stop me." Kath was equally definite. "Without me you won't get home."
"We'll find a way." Kathryn jutted her chin out and faced off against herself.
"The death glare doesn't work on me, you know. And think this through. Two of us together in one time won't work. Think of the complications."
"We could work something out. We can't be the first people to have tried this."
"Are you willing to share Chakotay?"
Comprehension dawned. "Share him with you, you mean?"
"Yes, I mean in love, life and in bed. I'm not sure that I want to. Even with you."
"I would if there were no alternative. We could find a way." Kathryn was seeing the glimmer of her own stubbornness in Kath's eyes.
"What, you have him Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and I have him Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays? Maybe he could have Sunday off as a rest day. Or we could both have him on Sundays. The man does have incredible stamina, but I still don't think it would work. Sorry."
Kathryn drained her glass and moved over to the replicator. "I never dreamed I'd have this conversation with anyone," she said, shaking her head bemusedly. "Let alone with myself - Computer, two glasses of brandy with ice. Here I am discussing how to share the love of my life, and I haven't even kissed him yet." She glared at Kath. "*You* have."
"Yes." Kath looked smug. "I have. And if you don't intend to seduce him tonight, then I will."
"Forcing my hand?" Kathryn handed one of the glasses to Kath.
"No. Just stating a fact. I had the best night of my entire life a month ago. I walked out and believe me, it has not been easy since. Every night I wake up, wishing with every fiber of my being that I was with Chakotay. I'm going to be cocooned in the arms of the Borg in a few weeks. I think I can give myself one more night with the man I love."
Kathryn sat down on the couch. Weird may be part of the job with Starfleet, but this went way beyond weird. This was bizarre, scary, and if she was honest, exciting. Chakotay, her love. And he was within her grasp. Kath had made it possible. Tentatively, she reached a hand out to her double.
"Kath... I want to say, whatever may happen, whatever happens to us and to Chakotay, that I do appreciate what you've done. I can't see an end to it now, and I can't see a solution, but I want to thank you."
Kath grasped her hand. So strange to be holding your own hand. She nodded slightly. "I know. Please, don't waste this opportunity. We... you, me, Chakotay are meant to be together. His heart was breaking because of Seven's manipulations. Don't let it happen again. Please?"
Kathryn nodded slightly. The decision was out of her hands.
They sat on the couch, together. Kath broke the silence. "Now, about Chakotay. Who has first visitation rights?"
Kathryn laughed. "You're talking about him as if he's a gigolo. He might have some say in this. Hell, he might not even be interested"
Kath snorted. "He's interested all right. And I doubt that Chakotay can tell the two of us apart. After all, we're only six months apart in age."
Kathryn thought for a minute. "You've had your first night with him. I'd like my turn. After all," she smiled, self-deprecatingly, "I've only been dreaming about it for seven years. Give me a night, a night for love and to make promises to him, and then he's yours until... until this trip is over." She studied her counterpart. "I'm not going to stop working on this. There has to be a way to get both of us home."
Kath nodded slightly. "Thank you. I'll take good care of him. But tonight..."
The chime rang, startling both of them. "Come in," said Kathryn.
And Chakotay walked in to see two Kathryns, hands clasped on the couch and empty brandy glasses on the table.
Kath stood. "I think that's my cue."
"Where are you going?" Chakotay's eyes flickered between the pair of them.
She winked at him. "Your quarters. After all, you won't be needing them tonight, and unless you've changed it, I already know the code."
Crossing to him she wrapped a hand around his neck, bringing his lips briefly to hers. "Goodnight," she whispered. "Treat her like you treated me in Phoenix in six months time. Remember that she... that we... love you very much."
And then she was gone, leaving Chakotay staring at Kathryn. "Kathryn?" He crossed to sit on the couch. "I came to say that I'm sorry for kissing her on the bridge. But I'm not really sorry at all."
"I know." She smiled at him, letting him see that she wasn't annoyed. "We've just had a very enlightening conversation, Kath and I."
"Kath?"
"It makes it easier. Less confusing. We are the same, you know. But she has had six months more of life than I have and although she got her crew home, she lost you in the process. She's here to redress the balance."
He took her hand. The public kiss on the bridge had obviously made him more daring, more willing to say what he wanted, less fearful of rejection. "I can't think of anything you could do that would make me walk away from you."
"It wasn't what I did," she said. "And it wasn't really what you did. You were manipulated." And she told him the sorry tale as it was related to her, starting with the Admiral, and ending with the night that he and Kath had shared.
He was silent when she finished. He still grasped her hands, rubbing a thumb absently over the back of her hand. "I don't know what to say," he said at last. "Seven, a child that now will never be." He shook his head slightly. "I can't believe that I did that, that I slept with her when I love you so much."
She caught her breath. Although she knew, to hear him say it was sweetly overwhelming.
He saw her reaction, and moved closer to her on the couch. "I love you, Kathryn. And now that we know about it, Kath's future will never happen. We will be together."
"I love you too," she said. "I have since New Earth."
He gathered her into his arms, tightly against his chest. She rested her cheek on his uniform, hearing the pound of his heart and feeling the safe homecoming of love finally acknowledged and shared. He sighed, and his arms tightened around her, his face dropping to nuzzle in her hair.
It wasn't enough, of course, so she lifted her head. For a moment, they stared at each other, breath mingling in the small space between their lips. She lifted a hand and stroked a gentle thumb over his cheekbone. "I know you've kissed Kath," she said. "But I don't know the taste of you yet."
He smiled and their faces drifted together, hesitated slightly, then their lips met and fused.
It was better than imagination, Kathryn thought hazily. Chakotay was warm and vital under her hands, his lips deeply persuasive and soft, demanding yet giving back to her tenfold. He deepened the kiss, his tongue dueling lazily with hers; his mouth covering hers so completely that she felt she was sinking, drowning in his kiss.
When the need to gulp air to fuel her pounding heart became too great, she broke the kiss, but she left her hands in his hair, on his neck, needing to touch him.
"Do you want to make love with me?" she asked him.
"Yes." he murmured the word against her lips as he returned to her mouth. "Yes, I want to make love. Yes, I want to plant my seed deep within you and make a baby of our own from our love, and by our choice. But most of all, yes, we're going to make love now."
"We have time now," she whispered. "We have all the time in the world."
She stood and led him on shaky feet to her bedroom.
He undressed her slowly, slipping his hands into the open front of her uniform, testing the weight of a breast, pulling the turtleneck over her head and nuzzling his face into the soft flesh as it was exposed. He slipped the trousers down over her hips, and she could only watch in helpless pleasure as his mouth moved over her breasts, down over her belly, following the meandering path his hands had taken. He worked his way down her body, dropping to his knees to strip her boots, socks and panties from her, until she was naked.
For a brief moment, he rested his head on the pillow of her belly. His hands stroked around her hips to cup her buttocks. He pressed a kiss to the soft mat of hair over her pubic bone, then his mouth dropped lower.
"Open your legs for me," he murmured against her. "I want to taste you."
She clutched his hair and did as he bid, and felt the rasp of his tongue on her sex, slipping its way through to flicker over her center. Her knees buckled, as he relentlessly tasted her. His fingers grasped her buttocks tightly as he pressed his face so closely against her that she wondered how he could breathe. There was a brief moment when she wondered, as her arousal grew to unbearable levels, how could anyone be so good, how could he just know what she liked, and how, god knows how, Kath had ever let him go. And then the world splintered and fractured into a million glowing pieces and she cried out helplessly, as she bucked against his mouth even as her knees went limp.
He stood and embraced her, her nudity a rosy contrast against the Starfleet uniform. He kissed her again, the salty taste of her own release blending with his own taste.
"I wanted to do that on New Earth," he whispered into her mouth. "That time you were startled by the monkey and called out to me. I came out of the shelter and there you were, dressed only in that towel. Your hair was tumbling down over your shoulders and the towel was slipping a little. I wanted to lift you onto the edge of the tub, remove your towel and part your legs and taste you, until your scent overwhelmed the fragrance of your bath oil. I wanted you so much then, Kathryn."
"I know," she said. "I wanted you too. It should have been different."
"It will be from now." The assurance in his words moved her more than a promise.
As her world righted itself again, she became aware that he was still fully dressed. She was eager to feel him; to learn his body as he now knew hers.
"Your turn," she murmured against his mouth, even as her hands began working the fastenings of his uniform.
He helped her, shrugging the uniform away, peeling off layers. His hard golden chest was exposed and she pressed her lips to it, feeling the smoothness, learning the taste of his skin. She touched his flat nipple with a fingertip, delighting in his tightening response. Emboldened, she moved her mouth wetly over its partner.
"Kathryn, have pity," he groaned. "This won't take long if you keep doing that."
She smiled against his skin, moving her mouth slowly around his hairless belly, tormenting him as he had her. Her fingers explored the feel of his cock through the confining material.
His hands tightened in her hair as she pushed his pants down off his hips, taking the tight briefs with them. Impatiently he kicked off his remaining clothes as she watched. Naked, he returned to stand in front of her as she sat on the bed.
She cupped his testicles with a gentle hand, feeling them contract up into his body. His penis stood proudly in front of him, hard, purple tipped with need, moisture already leaking from the tip. She bent to taste him, lapping the salty fluid.
Abruptly she was pushed back on the bed and he knelt between her thighs. "No more," he groaned. "No more. I have to be inside you."
With a speed that left her reeling, he dropped down to cover her, and she felt the prod of his thick length seeking entrance. She moved to accommodate him, and he slid effortlessly into her.
"Oh god," she whispered. The completion was more than she had ever thought it would be. She stared at Chakotay's face above her, it was contorted with his desire to hold back, but she watched as he threw his head back and mouthed words of love.
"I love you," she said. "So very much that I can't begin to tell you."
He swelled inside her, so hard, that she thought he must be very close. He rocked, once, twice then paused. "Oh god," he said in a broken tone, "I'm sorry, Kathryn. I can't wait..." His hips thrust helplessly against her, and she felt him deep convulse within her, and felt the spreading wetness of his release.
He lay on her for a moment, then moved off. She reached up to kiss him, to reassure him that his impatience didn't matter, that they had the rest of the night and a lifetime together, but found he was smiling.
"It's a compliment," he said in mock seriousness.
She smiled at him. "I know." She felt the slide of his seed out of her and touched it with her fingertips and brought it to her lips. The sharp, grassy smell of it made her head reel. She licked her fingers and then buried her face in his chest, to absorb the sweet sweat smell of him. No wonder, she thought, no wonder that Kath had wanted to keep his scent on her body.
Her body started to slide towards sleep, but he didn't let her. His fingers burrowed between her legs, and he moved to kiss her, pushing her inexorably upwards again.
They came together three times during the night, each one slower and more intense than the time before. The connection between their souls was strengthened and by the time the alarm sounded in the morning, both of them knew that this was truly love and this was truly forever.
Before they rose to shower, Kathryn spoke. "Chakotay, about Kath..." And she told him Kath's plan of self-sacrifice to the Borg to get them home.
"No." Chakotay was choked. "Kathryn, no. There must be another way. You may not want to hear this, but when she kissed me on the bridge, it was *you* kissing me. When we lay together, it could have been *her* I was making love to. I don't know how you feel, but the two of you really are the same person. I can't let her go to the Borg to die, it would be like sending you. I've done it once, I don't think I could stand to do it again."
She stopped his lips with her fingers. "Sssh.... it's all right. I know. The time difference between us is too close. She's barely had six months more living than I. But you know how stubborn we are. If a simple sacrifice is all it takes to get this crew home, and bring us together then that is what she will do. It's what I would do, after all."
"There has to be another way."
"I agree, there must be. And we have nearly two months to find it. And we will. But there's something else I must talk to you about."
In simple words she told him of his and Kath's single night together, in the future that now never would be. "How would you feel," she began, "if she and not I, were to spend the nights with you... until... until this is resolved? Would you feel used? A puppet? Or would..."
It was his turn to stop her lips with his fingers. "Kathryn, I love you... but you are she, and she is you. To me you are one and the same. I will spend the night with whichever one of you I can... or both..." he added with a wicked grin. "I love you, I love her. We will find a way to resolve this without losing either of you."
"Thank you," she said. She kissed him lingeringly. "Never forget that we love you. Both of us."
"I won't." The words were a liturgy of truth, of meaning and of promise.
Kath and Kathryn talked for a long time the next day. Kathryn was not willing to abandon Kath to the Borg and was determined to find another way. Kath was equally insistent that it was the only way. By unspoken agreement, the Temporal Prime Directive was not mentioned, and Kath passed on information about the remaining two months. Joe Carey would not be a casualty of the journey if they could help it.
As they sipped their fifth coffee of the morning, Kath finally brought up the topic they had been skirting around. "Well," she said. "Are you going to tell me about Chakotay?"
Kathryn's eyes softened, remembering. "It was the best night of my life," she said. "We have so much love to share." She reached out a hand to her double. "Thank you, for making it possible."
Kath smiled the identical curl-corner smile. "You're welcome," she said. "I'd say anytime, but it's my turn now."
Kathryn took a mouthful of coffee. "Yes," she agreed, "it is. Dinner tonight in Chakotay's quarters? The three of us, then I'll leave you two alone."
"It's a date." The chime on the ready room rang. Kathryn checked the chronometer. "That will be Chakotay, coming to take us both to lunch." Chakotay entered the room, looking from one to the other. "Who do I kiss?" he asked.
Kathryn crossed to him, giving him a soft kiss of greeting. "You mean, 'who do I kiss first'," she said, relinquishing her place to Kath, who also kissed him, a bit longer, a bit deeper.
They stood on either side of him. "Can you tell?" asked Kath. "Who is who?"
Chakotay looked from one to the other. "Not easily," he said. "But I can." He framed Kathryn's face with his hands. "You made love with me last night," he said. "Your eyes reflect the pleasure." He released her and kissed Kath lightly on the lips. "And you will make love with me tonight," he added. "Your eyes reflect the longing."
The two Janeways exchanged glances. "Very good," said Kathryn. "Right first time."
Laughing, the three of them left for the messhall arm in arm, oblivious to the interested stares of the bridge crew.
That night, Chakotay served them both dinner in his quarters. He was equally attentive to both of them, touching them both and reacting with simple joy when either of them kissed him. They both touched him frequently, unable to resist the lure of open affection after having to hide it for so long.
At 1100, Kathryn stood up to go. She kissed Chakotay softly on the mouth, dipping her tongue in for a final taste of him. "Love her well, my darling," she whispered, and left on silent feet, seeing as she did, the slow drawing together of the two left in the room.
In her quarters she took a long bath and went to bed. She lay and listened to the sounds of lovemaking from the far side of the wall. Kath's voice, identical to her own, rose up in a long wail. Kathryn smiled; wondering exactly what Chakotay was doing to induce such total pleasure.
She heard the Kath's gasp and Chakotay's deep-throated groan at the moment of penetration. Then clearly, she heard Chakotay's whispered declarations of love and Kath's throaty response. The instantly recognizable rhythmic creaking of the bed attested to their lovemaking.
Kathryn snaked a hand down to her own center, rubbing rhythmically in tandem with the two next door, until she exploded in her own climax shortly after the others. She smiled. Kath had had no need to ask her about her own night with Chakotay; she would have heard perfectly well through the walls as she was doing now.
Later, she lay and listened to them making love yet again, and examined her own feelings carefully. Was she jealous? Upon careful consideration, she didn't think so. Sure, she wanted with all her heart to be next door, enjoying Chakotay's lovemaking and reaffirming exactly what they meant to each other, but he was all that to Kath too. And maybe more so, as Kath had known the pain of loosing him to Seven.
No, when it came down to it, it was impossible to be jealous of yourself. She would know Chakotay's lovemaking again soon enough.
The weeks slid by. The crew became used to the two Kathryn Janeways. Kath wore civilian clothes, declaring that Voyager was no longer her ship, and asked the crew to call her Kath. After all, she said, they would be home soon enough and they would be calling her 'Kathryn' then. This really wasn't so different.
No one seemed to think it strange that that the two Kathryns and Chakotay were always together. Tom had established early on that one of the Kathryns spent each night in Chakotay's quarters, and this news spread rapidly through the decks, but no-one was able to establish with any certainty which of the women it was.
The two women worked together most days, planning their return to the Alpha Quadrant. With Kath's knowledge the away mission that resulted in Joe Carey's death never happened, but the meeting with the group of Talaxians went ahead uninterrupted. As sad as Kathryn was to see Neelix leave them, it was ultimately his choice and his happiness.
B'Elanna and her team spent the weeks ensuring that Voyager's systems were operating at peak efficiency, and that the ablative shielding was installed and fully operational.
The only part of the plan that was not common knowledge to the rest of the crew, was Kath's intended suicide trip, that would not only ensure Voyager's safe passage back to the Alpha Quadrant, but would destroy, maybe for ever, the threat of the Borg Collective.
The Kathryns and Chakotay ate dinner together most nights, sometimes in the messhall, more often in his quarters. When dinner was over, Kathryn would kiss Chakotay gently goodnight, hug Kath and retire alone to her own quarters.
She used the time alone to try and figure out a way for Kath to return to the Alpha Quadrant alive, with them. She accepted that if they managed that, then the three of them would have a big problem to resolve in figuring out who ultimately would live and love with Chakotay. But Kathryn and Chakotay both felt that something -- a vague, unspecified something - could be resolved, and it was preferable to the alternative of the suicide mission.
Whenever either of them raised it with Kath, however, she refused to listen. "This is my time," she said. "You are giving me more time with Chakotay then I ever would have thought possible. There is no way around it. The Borg must be destroyed and as I am the one who disrupted this timeline, then I am the one who must take the Admiral's place." And then she would bury her face in her coffee mug, in her wineglass or Chakotay's neck and refuse to listen further.
As the weeks ticked on though, Kathryn conceived a plan. It was risky; there were countless ways in which it could fail. At the worst it would mean leaving all of Voyager's crew at the mercy of the Borg or it could be the death of both her and Kath. Or maybe, just maybe, it would work.
She discussed it first with the Doctor. "Hmmm...." The Doctor stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Conceivably it could work. The only difference between your physiology and genetics and Kath's is the presence of the Borg virus in her system. I can inoculate you as well, and then you will be identical in all respects. Yes. It could work."
Next was B'Elanna.
B'Elanna's eyes lit up at the challenge. "I'm pretty sure the answer will be no, Captain," she said. "But maybe if we were to set the ablative shieldings frequency to protect us against all frequencies EXCEPT for a given narrow band, and then if we set the transporter range to that narrow frequency it may work." She ran a few calculations. "I'll test this out with crates of leola root first. No one will mind if we lose that permanently into deep space or transporter suspension. I'll get back to you."
When B'Elanna said that yes, it was possible to transport through the ablative shielding on a narrow range, Kathryn checked with Harry to see if he could work the transporters the way she needed. He too said yes, that would not be a problem.
She returned to B'Elanna a final time. Would it be possible to conceal Voyager's presence in the Alpha Quadrant upon their return for as long as needed - maybe up to three or four days?
"No problem," replied B'Elanna. "It will be my pleasure to make Starfleet eat crow and admit that we were in their space for days before they noticed us."
Kathryn patted B'Elanna on the shoulder. It would work. Now she just had to convince Chakotay.
She called him into her ready room when Kath was lunching with B'Elanna. She saw the quick flick of raw pleasure in his eyes; it was always there these days. It warmed her and gave her the strength she needed to pursue this plan.
He crossed to her; something about her demeanor telling him that this was mainly personal. She accepted his kiss, letting him deepen it, and for a few moments she gave herself up to the pure enjoyment of his embrace. His cock twitched and started to harden against her belly; even after a month of loving with Kath his response was still instantaneous. She let herself rub briefly on him before moving away.
"I've thought of a plan," she said.
He knew immediately what she was talking about. "Tell me," he said simply, sitting down on the couch and drawing her back against him.
She told him the plan. "I know it's not foolproof," she said. "I could even be putting the ship in danger, but I think it could work. We can save her."
Chakotay shuddered, drawing her closer into his embrace. "I could lose both of you."
She twisted to look at him. His eyes were wide, hope mingling with fear. He looked like a man who had been handed the world and now someone was asking for it back.
"It's possible," she admitted. "But you could also gain both of us."
He swallowed hard. "I don't know what to say." He buried his face in her hair. " I'm selfish. I want one of you, both of you... Please, Kathryn, don't leave me now."
"I don't intend to," she vowed. "It will work. It has to."
He held her closely, his hands moving softly over her shoulders and down her back. "Will you tell Kath?"
"No," she said. "I know its hard, and I don't like keeping her in the dark, but every time I've raised the possibility of an alternative to her plan, she's refused to listen. She'll find out soon enough if it works, and if it doesn't...." She swallowed unable to continue. Instead she raised her mouth to Chakotay, asking him wordlessly to give her comfort.
He dropped his head, claiming her lips with his own, moving his tongue into her mouth. His hands ran down to her hips and he pressed her against his erection. "I love you so much," he whispered, lifting his mouth from hers. "And I love Kath too. I love both of you."
"I know," she said. "We love you too."
She let him hold her for a few more minutes, drawing as much comfort from his strong embrace as he was from hers.
She eased away from him. "Lunch?" she asked.
"If you don't mind, I'll pass today," he said. His hand smoothed a strand of her hair, disarranged by his hold. "I'd like to visit my spirit guide. Dinner tonight?"
"Yes." She understood his need for privacy and reflection. "Yes, I'll see you later." She kissed him and left for the messhall.
The three of them had eaten dinner and were relaxing on the couch. Chakotay was in the middle, an arm around each of them. Kath relaxed against him, her head on his chest. Kathryn allowed the arm around her shoulders, but rested her head against the back of the couch. Two empty bottles of wine stood on the coffee table.
Kath raised her head up and kissed Chakotay gently on the mouth, running her hand over his chest to slip inside his shirt.
Kathryn put her glass down. This was her signal to leave the two of them alone. It looked like their lovemaking tonight would be energetic. Chakotay was responding to Kath, sucking hard on her lower lip. Kathryn slid slowly out of the circle of Chakotay's arm, but it tightened on her shoulders.
He lifted his face from Kath and looked Kathryn in the eyes. "Stay," he said hoarsely. "Stay and share our loving."
Kathryn hesitated. She wanted badly to stay, to feel Chakotay's body again, and to gain reassurance from the pair of them that her far-fetched plan would work, but these nights belonged to Kath. The invitation had to come from her.
She locked eyes with Kath. "Stay," said Kath. "Stay with us tonight."
She nodded slightly, accepting the gift that Kath chose to bestow. The three of them together. Chakotay bent to kiss her, pulling her close to him, even as Kath pressed herself against his back, unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it from his chest. Chakotay's hands were slipping the buttons on her own shirt, parting the material and baring her breasts to his touch. He unsnapped her bra and put his mouth to her breasts.
She held his head to her breasts and her eyes met Kath's over his head. The two women shared a smile of total understanding.
"Let's go to bed." She didn't know who said the words, she may have said them herself, but the overwhelming need was to lie down and entangle with Chakotay, and then to peripherally share his loving with Kath.
Chakotay stood, and offered a hand to each woman. They rose together and he drew them both into his embrace. The three of them stood, wrapped in a loose circle, feeling the ebb and flow of shared knowledge and passion move between them. Chakotay kissed each of them in turn, a soft, lingering kiss that Kathryn felt deep within her. With one accord, the three of them moved to the bedroom.
Kathryn arched an eyebrow in question at her twin. She needed Chakotay badly, wanted to feel him inside her, but the invitation was Kath's and she didn't want to presume.
Kath smiled. "No," she said. "You need him more than I right now. Let me watch you, let me add the picture of your lovemaking to the memories in my head."
Chakotay's hands were already stroking over her hips, stripping the clothing from her with practiced skill. She lay back on the bed and let him stroke and tease where he would. She could see Kath behind him, easing the clothes from his body until he was as naked as she. Chakotay's fingers walked down over her ribcage, curving over the lean line of her thigh so that he cupped her sex. One thick finger insinuated itself inside her, and she arched into the cradle of his hand.
He knelt over her, slipping careful fingers inside her, watching her face to see what pleased her most. But of course, he already knew. From their night together and weeks of loving with her twin. They were, after all, the same person.
"I want you now," she breathed, arching up to kiss him. "Please. Don't make me wait."
Instead of moving over her, he dropped to his side, rolling over onto his back, pulling her with him so that she straddled him. She looked at the golden body between her thighs, the firm jutting shaft rising needily from its nest of black curls. She traced the muscles of his chest and his eyes closed in hazy pleasure. She straddled him, lowering herself until he was deeply sheathed within her. Her eyes were open, memorizing his dear features.
Kath crouched above him, not interfering, simply stroking his face and hair rhythmically, soothingly. Lightly, she bent to kiss him, then withdrew, letting Kathryn love him as she wished.
Kathryn started to move, rising and falling over her lover's body like the tide, feeling him slip easily within her. Chakotay's hand fell to her thigh, then moved to press on her belly, intensifying the feeling of fullness, before dropping again, to rub lightly over her mound, gently skating in circular motions over her clitoris. His hips moved in tandem with hers.
She felt her orgasm build, felt the measured press of Chakotay's fingers, there, exactly as she liked it, and her head fell back, dragging air into her lungs as the breaking wave of climax swept over her. She heard her own voice, shouting lightly with joy, heard Chakotay's groan as with a final thrust of his hips he emptied himself into her. She fell forward onto his chest and felt his arms rise to hold her.
"I love you," he whispered. "I love both of you."
Other hands, smaller, softer, yet intrinsically familiar stroked her damp red hair away from her face. She looked up into Kath's eyes, smiling with the absolute knowledge of what she had just experienced. Kath leant forward and pressed a soft kiss onto her forehead, then withdrew slightly, letting her hands fall to Chakotay's shoulders.
He turned his head, pressing it into the palm of her hand, kissing each fingertip before drawing two of them lightly into his mouth. Kath leaned forward and kissed him, her hair falling down over their faces, shielding their kiss from Kathryn, who sat, her lover's softening penis still within her, the juices of their release pooling on his groin.
Chakotay's hands lifted to cup Kath's head and Kathryn saw the kiss deepen. She lifted herself away from Chakotay, to give him the freedom to love her double. He raised himself up, and without breaking the kiss started to strip the clothes from Kath's body, deliberately shedding each piece. When she was naked, he worked his way down her body, slowly fondling breasts and thighs, mouthing her breast, his tongue idly circling her nipple.
Kathryn watched them love each other. The tension was there between them, lying hot and heavy in the room, but there was also the joy and certainty of long-time lovers who know how to please. She knew, as surely as if it was her body, the shafts and currents of arousal that Kath was feeling. When Chakotay's head dipped between Kath's spread thighs, she could almost feel the lap of his tongue on her own center.
Kath gasped loudly, and Kathryn watched as she undulated her hips against her lover's face, riding his mouth up to her climax.
Chakotay lifted his face from her, meeting Kathryn's eyes for a minute before moving over on top and pushing his renewed erection into Kath in one deep motion.
Kathryn watched the two of them moved together, the rise and fall of the golden body and the writhings of the smaller, milky-white one. Moving to the side, she placed one hand on Chakotay's buttock, feeling the rhythmic pump under her hand. He raised himself up on his hands, his eyes met hers and she leaned forward to fit her mouth to his in a languorous kiss. The shudder of his orgasm transferred to her, though the vibrations of his mouth, as he climaxed for a second time, this time deep within the woman who was her, yet not her.
The three of them slept together that night, curled up like a pile of puppies in Chakotay's bed. Each of the women curled into Chakotay's side, their own legs touching as they draped symmetrical thighs over their lover's body.
After that night, the three of them spent every night together. They didn't always physically express their feelings; sometimes they just lay together, united in love. At other times Chakotay would make love to one of them, while the other watched, taking vicarious delight in their pleasure.
And then Kath said that tomorrow they would reach the Borg-infested nebula that would take them home.
By unspoken agreement, Kathryn left them alone that night, returning to her quarters for the first time in weeks. If the dangerous plan worked, then Kath wouldn't have the need of a last night with her lover. But the element of risk was high.
The next morning, the three of them stood together in the shuttle bay. Kath ran through her final launch check for the shuttle Cochrane, then stepped out into the bay.
"You can change your mind," Kathryn said quietly. "I won't hold you to this. We can take longer to get home."
"No." Kath's decision had not wavered in the last two months. "I will go. And you and he will be together as it was meant to be." She lifted her chin and faced off against herself for the final time.
Kathryn nodded, accepting her decision. If the plan worked - and god, surely it must - then there would be no sacrifice. "Goodbye," she said quietly. "And thank you, from the bottom of my heart."
She stepped forward and caught her up in a fierce hug. Kath was once again wearing the Starfleet uniform, and the red and black uniforms blended together, auburn hair spilling over identical red shoulders. Chakotay moved forward and embraced them both, and the three rocked together in an emotional farewell for long minutes. Kathryn moved away, to let them share a final kiss uninterrupted.
The minutes crawled by on the bridge as the shuttle launched. When it was safely away, Kathryn gave the order to enter the nebula.
She tapped her comm badge. "B'Elanna, set the modified shield frequencies."
B'Elanna, her large belly resting against the console carried out the order. She was not due to give birth for another week. "Done, Captain."
"Harry, set the transporter to that frequency and lock onto Kath's lifesigns."
"I have her, Captain. Ready when you give the word."
"Take her in, Tom."
"Yes, ma'am."
Slowly, Voyager nosed her way into the nebula. Out of nowhere, a Borg cube appeared out of the gaseous cloud in front of them, and skimmed past the ship, nearly grazing the hull.
Harry, nerves already on edge with the importance of what he had to do, let out an involuntary yelp.
"Sorry, Captain," said Tom, without taking his eyes from the viewscreen. "Didn't see that one coming. I don't think they saw us."
Kathryn's eyes never left the viewscreen. The minutes crawled by, interminably "There's the hub," she said finally.
"Tuvok, ready the transphasic torpedoes."
"They are ready, Captain."
"Lifesigns, Harry?" Chakotay grasped Kathryn's hand firmly.
"Still stable," reported Harry. "She is still on the Cochrane."
"Tom, take us as close as you can to the aperture without detection," ordered Kathryn.
Tom eased the ship over towards the hub. He sneaked a glance at his wife. "You'll give birth in the Alpha Quadrant, love," he said. "The betting pool has long odds on that one."
"Stow it, Tom." B'Elanna growled her response without looking up from her console, where she was keeping a tight eye on the shield frequencies.
Kathryn's hand tightened convulsively on Chakotay's. The success or failure of the plan, and Kath's life hung in the balance. The next few minutes were crucial.
"She's left the Cochrane, Captain," Harry reported. "I'm scanning for her signs on the cube." The few seconds he took to secure the signs dragged like an eon. "I have her," he said in relief.
"Good work, Harry. Keep that lock. Let us know the instant her lifesigns starts to destabilize. Tom move us closer to the aperture."
"Aye aye, Captain."
Voyager nosed closer still to the aperture.
"Life signs destabilizing, Captain." Urgency tinged Harry's tone.
Still she waited, giving Kath until the last possible moment. Her assimilation would need to be nearly completed to ensure that the virus was transferred successfully to the Borg Queen.
"Lifesigns nearly gone, Captain." Harry was sounding panicky.
Chakotay shot her a worried glance. "Kathryn?"
"Beam her out, Harry. Now."
A moments tense silence, then Harry's jubilant voice. "Got her. She's in sickbay."
"Remodulating shields, Captain." B'Elanna reset the shield frequencies to give them total protection.
Kathryn couldn't allow herself any time for congratulations. Part of plan had worked, but the most difficult part was still to come. "Take us in, Tom." Mentally she crossed her fingers and took a firmer clasp of Chakotay's hand.
Tom switched to full impulse and Voyager entered the transwarp corridor.
"Ready torpedoes, Tuvok." She swallowed hard. This was it. If Kath was wrong, or if the Borg had managed to gain sufficient knowledge from her and the shuttle to adapt, then they would all remain here in the Delta Quadrant. Or worse, they would all be assimilated.
She waited for a few more heartbeats. "They are after us, Captain." Tuvok's voice betrayed no hint of emotion.
"Fire torpedoes."
As Voyager went to warp, the torpedoes detonated collapsing the corridor behind them. They ricocheted through the rapidly destabilizing corridor. Kathryn's head was full of Tom's shouted course corrections, Tuvok's calm tones as he launched a further torpedo and the shaking of the ship. Harry shouted the details of the failing shields, Tom fought to control the plunging ship. She could do nothing but wait and hope.
"End of the corridor ahead," shouted Tom.
Voyager shot out of the corridor like phaser fire. "Cloaking device operational," called B'Elanna over the noise. "They are scanning for ships, but they haven't detected us yet."
"We're in the Alpha Quadrant!" Harry's voice was jubilant.
"Get us out of here, Tom. Set a course away from the Starfleet ships."
She waited until Voyager reached a relatively calm area of space and it became obvious that they were not pursued. "Commander, I'll be in sickbay. You have the bridge."
He nodded, finally releasing her hand. "Call me, if you need me," he said. The timbre of his voice told her exactly what he meant. Call me if she's not going to be all right. Call me to say goodbye.
She entered the sickbay to find Sam Wildman working alongside the Doctor. On the biobed lay Kath. Kathryn swallowed bile; Kath's assimilation was nearly complete.
"Doctor?" Her voice was a plea.
"Not now, Captain, please. I'm a little busy." He looked up and saw her face and softened slightly. "She will be restored completely. Her assimilation is, in fact, less complete than your own was a few months ago. I estimate she will be recovered in seventy-two hours."
Seventy-two hours. That was as long as she had to wait. She didn't trust her voice, so she nodded to the Doctor and left, back to the bridge and to Chakotay's caring clasp.
It all comes down to this, thought Kathryn. The final point of the plan. It was true that the lives of the ship and crew didn't hinge its success, but her life, Kath's life and their future with Chakotay hung in the balance. Seventy-two hours had passed since their return to the Alpha Quadrant. Thanks to B'Elanna's genius and the cloaking device, Starfleet was still unaware of their existence. And that was the way she wanted it, at least until this final chapter could be brought to some sort of resolution.
Chakotay and Kathryn walked to the transporter room. Kath already stood there, dressed in the identical Starfleet Captain's uniform that she herself wore. Kath had agreed to the plan. Yes, it was risky. Yes, the outcome was unsure, but she agreed wholeheartedly with Kathryn that they had to try.
In the transporter room, the Doctor and Harry waited for them.
"You know the procedure now, Harry." The Doctor was running through the outline for the umpteenth time in his nasal tones. "As the Captain and Kath are genetically identical, when we transport them together and store their patterns in the same transporter buffer, their basal cell components will merge. In essence, the transporter will assume that there is only one lifeform in the buffer. We will hold them in transporter suspension for five minutes. That should be long enough to establish the meld. And then, when we rematerialize them, the Captain and Kath will be combined into the one being. Very similar to the unfortunate accident that happened to Commander Tuvok and Neelix, but this time it will be deliberate." Harry nodded. He would have control of the transporters during the transfer.
The Doctor turned to Kathryn as she entered the room and ran a tricorder over her, comparing her readings with Kath's. "Excellent, Captain. The tricorder registers no discernable difference between your readings. May I assume that you dressed identically as we discussed?" "You may." Kath outwardly was calm, but Kathryn knew she had to be as apprehensive as she was, under the cool exterior. "Regulation Starfleet underwear."
Harry smiled slightly, and Chakotay, who knew that that was not the case, grinned. The small quip eased the tension in the room.
"Captain, if you would be so kind as to step up onto the transporter pad." The Doctor gestured to emphasis his point.
Kathryn stepped up slowly and Kath followed her.
Kathryn turned to face the console. "Chakotay?" Her voice wavered slightly, but held without cracking. "Please, hold me… hold us."
Chakotay stepped up to the pad, and held out his arms. Wordlessly the two women slipped into the comfort of his embrace, burrowing into the shelter he offered. The three of them stood there for a long minute, drawing strength from each corner of their triad. Chakotay pulled away. Cupping one identical face in his hands, he kissed her long and lingeringly. Then he turned to the second and kissed her, just as tenderly.
"I love you," he whispered. "I love you both."
One or both of them nodded.
"Commander," the Doctors whining voice interrupted them. "If you wouldn't mind stepping down from the pad, otherwise your menage a trois may well become permanent if you are fused in with them." The disapproving tone of his voice indicated that he knew exactly how the three of them had been spending their nights.
Chakotay stepped down. On the pad, Kathryn and Kath moved together, into an embrace. Close together they stepped, until the red and black uniform met and merged at breast, hip and thigh. Arms clasped tightly around the other and the burnished red heads came to rest on the other's shoulder. Heads bowed, they waited for transport.
"Energize." Harry's voice cracked slightly.
The two figures disappeared together in the blue haze of the transporter.
Chakotay paced, unable to stand still. Five minutes, that was all he had to wait. Then he would know if he would have one Kathryn returned to him, or two, or… He didn't allow himself to dwell on the third option.
He caught Harry's eye over the console. The young ensign looked nervous, but he managed a sympathetic smile for his superior officer.
Please, Kathryn. Please Kath. Come back to me. Chakotay prayed to whatever spirits and forces in the universe were out there. Please, don't leave me now.
"Two more minutes, Ensign." The Doctor was timing the procedure.
Chakotay sank to his haunches against the wall and buried his face in his hands. Please, Kathryn, please Kath. I need you. I love you.
"One minute."
Chakotay felt physically sick. His stomach roiled and he thought he would lose his breakfast all over his unpolished Starfleet boots.
"Five, four, three, two, one… Energize."
Harry's fingers slipped the controls, pushing the lever, and the three in the transporter room held their collective breath as the familiar blue haze of the transporter materialized.
Chakotay didn't know how he got to the pad. His eyes were straining to make out a figure, or figures in the mist.
The haze coalesced, and Kathryn Janeway stood alone on the pad. She stumbled slightly, and looked around her in bemusement. She lifted her hands and studied them. They trembled slightly.
"Kathryn?" Chakotay's voice shook on the word.
"Chakotay?" Taking a step forward, she was suddenly in his arms. His face was in her hair, and he clasped her tightly to him. His chest heaved with great gulping breaths, even as his hands explored the solidity of her form.
"Kathryn? Kath? Spirits, talk to me."
She was laughing, the tears running freely down her face. "It's me, Chakotay. It's us. Together. One body., One set of memories… it worked." She framed his face with her hands, oblivious to Harry's stare and the Doctor's interested mien. "I love you. We both love you. But there's only one of us here now. Kathryn is here, with Kath's memories."
His mouth caught hers in a kiss so long and so deep that tears filled his eyes. "Kathryn. I love you."
The tears overflowed and rolled unheeded down his cheeks. A journey of seven years came together in one grand moment of climax. Chakotay cried his joy unashamedly to the watchers, catching her to his chest as if he would never let go.
A few days later, Voyager officially came home. Starfleet was suitably embarrassed by their failure to detect them in the Alpha Quadrant upon their return and it was never mentioned. Captain and Commander greeted the boarding Admirals and the welcome home party was planned.
If the visiting dignitaries noticed the closeness and palpable emotion flowing between the command team, they attributed it to the return home. It was never mentioned, and ship's logs had already erased all trace of the duplicate Janeways by the time they reached Deep Space Nine.
For the final time, the command team sat in their accustomed positions on the bridge. Hands clasped over the center console, Kathryn issued the final order to Tom.
"Take her in, Tom." Below them, the lights of San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge twinkled as they started their final descent.
Chakotay grasped her hand. "I love you," he said. "Thank you, and Kath, for making it all possible."
She leaned to kiss him, but was interrupted by the comm system.
"Captain, Lieutenant Paris. Lieutenant Torres has gone into labor."
FIN
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