SIMPLICITY AND JOY

When it happened it was so easy, so right. No angst, no questions of 'are you sure,' or 'why now,' or even 'what about tomorrow?' No near death experiences, no traumas, no special event like a birthday, anniversary or a holiday. It was as simple as walking through an open doorway from one room to another. Actually, more like going from one side to the other of two adjoining rooms, like a joined living room/dining room. It was light, it was easy and best of all, it was full of joy.

They'd had dinner in her quarters, like so many nights. Conversation about the current situation and the crew, just like always. He began telling her a story about something that had happened that day, involving Ayala, Chell and Neelix, which had her in stitches. She went to the replicator to get their post meal drinks, black coffee for her, herbal tea for him, same as usual. He followed her, intending to take his cup when it was ready, continuing with his tale, now chuckling as well, mostly at the sound of her laughter. He hit the punch line just as she took the drinks from the replicator and the humor overwhelmed her, so much that she was shaking, almost collapsing. He quickly took the dangerously tipping cups from her, placed them on the table beside them and turned back to her just as her knees began to give. He put his hands on her waist to hold her up at the same time as she grabbed his shoulders. Her eyes were bright and her smile lit up her face. Then in the midst of both of their laughter, he kissed her.

It was light and quick and completely unpremeditated. And it didn't stop them. It wasn't that they ignored it, it just blended in like it fit perfectly. Kathryn followed his punch line with her own comeback quip that had him collapsing against the wall, laughing so hard he needed the extra support. But he still had hold of her and she of him, so she wound up leaning against him, pulled a little off balance, her weight fully against his body.

And then she kissed him back.

They weren't talking any more, but the smiles were still there, the joy that wrapped around them staying, in fact increasing. Lips that had been long denied began soft explorations, small touches increasing in pressure, brushing, searching. They drew back just a little to look at one another with a quiet joy, a pleasure at the rightness of it, acknowledging their acceptance and delight. She was still smiling at him, and the light in her eyes invited him back, so he did. He kissed her again. And again. And then again.

When they finally stopped, they stayed together, arms around each other, enjoying the sizzle arching between them. With her leaning along his body as she was, his arousal was apparent, but neither minded, nor felt any embarrassment. She stroked his face once before levering herself away from him, and they both took their drinks, now slightly cooled, and went to the couch, just like they always did.

They sat close together and talked more, some ship's business, some crew business, some personal sharing. Same as usual. Finally Chakotay said it was time for him to leave. His arm was around her shoulders and hers around his waist as they walked to the door. They turned to face one another, and simply regarded one another, acknowledging what was happening, what had happened. Of one accord, she arched her neck upward just as he lowered his head and lips lightly brushed again, gentle, lingering touches. Their hands slowly slid along each other's arms as they began to separate. He smoothed his hand down her hair, then stroked his thumb along her jaw line and murmured, "Goodnight. I'll see you in the morning," and moved towards the door.

"Yes, see you in the morning." Just before the door swished shut behind him, he turned and looked at her where she still stood and they exchanged smiles again.

When Kathryn strode onto the bridge the next morning, nothing had changed, yet everything was different. "Good morning everyone," she greeted her crew. "Report." As each section reported in, she gave the Commander's shoulder a light squeeze in greeting as she took her seat next to him. He returned her silent good morning with a smile and nod.

"Anything to add, Commander?" she asked, smiling back.

"Just that Seven reported from Astrometrics that two of the planets that showed up on the long range scanners ahead are M-class and show signs of dilithium crystals.

"Inhabited?"

"Yes, and even more, there's evidence of warp capability."

"Hopefully friendly, too," she added.

He grinned at her, causing her stomach to flip a little. "You sure ask for a lot don't you? M-class, dilithium, warp capabilities and friendly on top of that."

Tom spoke up from the helm. "It would make a nice change out here."

"Wouldn't it, though? And yes, Commander, I do ask for a lot. You know the old saying, you don't ask, you don't get." She cast a sideways look at him, seeming to imply she was talking about more than trade negotiations. "Harry, how long until we're within communications range?" "About three hours, Captain." "Well, hopefully our first contact won't be some sort of weapons' fire." She stood and walked to her ready room door, but had not turned the bridge over to the Commander, so he inquired, "Captain?"

She glanced back over her shoulder, "Just going to get another cup of coffee, everyone. Back in a second, okay?" The atmosphere around the bridge was light as they all chuckled at the idea of the captain needing anyone's permission to get herself coffee. Not that anyone would dare stand between her and her coffee, with the exception of the Doctor and he could only try.

She was back in a matter of seconds, coffee cup in hand. "Anything exciting happen while I was gone?" she inquired. "Well, people, let's hope for a nice, dull day, shall we?" She settled in her chair and began reports.

"Coffee on the bridge, Captain? Didn't you sleep well?" Chakotay inquired innocently.

"Actually, I slept fine, thank you for asking, Commander. I just had an unexpected visitor this morning, so I missed my usual second cup."

"Oh?"

"Yes. A very distressed cook rang me much too early to report a missing storage bin of leola root. Lieutenant Paris, Ensign Kim, you fine officers wouldn't know anything about that, would you, now?" The captain looked around. Both the accused studiously regarded their consoles and avoided eye contact. "I thought so. Well, I cannot condone thievery, so all I have to say about this is…" She paused and took in their rigid posture. She winked quickly at Chakotay before finishing her sentence, "good work, gentlemen." She laughed outright as two sets of shoulders relaxed. "Just don't tell me what you did with it, so that I don't have to lie when I tell poor Neelix that I couldn't discover its whereabouts."

"Captain, I believe that would still qualify as lying." Tuvok spoke up from his station.

She turned to face him, "So?" Her security officer regarded her solemnly a few seconds before replying. "I believe your earth phrase is, never mind." She just smiled and turned back around. "Captain." It was Tuvok again. "Yes, Tuvok?"

"Since we do appear to be in a quiet region of space, I am wondering if now would be a good time to run some of the drills that we discussed a few days ago." Tuvok had long ago learned to dispense with the Vulcan habit of exact measurement of time that humans found so irritating. His discussion with the captain had in fact taken place exactly 3.25 days prior.

"Good idea, Commander. However, since it does appear to be a quiet area of space," she used his words back at him, "don't work everyone too hard. Although I'm sure that Lieutenant Paris and Ensign Kim would be happy to lend a hand." Chakotay couldn't help his grin at the dual quiet groans being heard.

Tuvok nodded, "An excellent idea, Captain. Gentlemen, would you please report to me in Cargo Bay 1 at 0700 tomorrow morning." They both knew that although the word 'please' had been used, it was not a request.

After a couple of minutes, Tom took advantage of the break in conversation to swing around from the con. "Just to show there's no hard feelings, Captain, Commander, a few of us are getting together this evening to shoot some pool and dance at Sandrines this evening. Care to join us lowly plebes?"

Chakotay looked over the console at her and she looked back. "What do you think, Captain? It's not beneath me to associate with the riffraff, how about you?" They all heard Harry's snort in the background.

She called upon her captain's training to hold a straight face. "I can stand it if you can, Commander. Lieutenant," she addressed her pilot, "do you have a masochistic streak in you that you need counseling for?"

Tom looked at his commanding officer with confusion on his face. "Captain?"

"First you marry a half Klingon and then, I keep thrashing you at pool, and you keep coming back for more." Everyone was laughing outright now.

"I'm a very optimistic person, Captain. I live in hope," the young man replied.

"Delusion is more like it," Harry added.

Shortly after a sandwich lunch in her ready room with B'Elanna while they discussed a proposed upgrade of the engines, Harry's voice was heard over the comm. "Captain to the bridge." When she stepped through the doors, he told her, "Captain, we're being hailed from the second planet."

"On screen."

The individual that faced them looked very much like a colorful turkey that bobbed and weaved excitedly as it chattered. Its skin progressively changed from bright yellow through the whole color spectrum as it became more excited, resembling a living strobe of lights.

"Wonderful, this is! So welcome you are! Prefect Lenree I am of Tenaren. Please, you are?" The prefect finished his long run of exuberant words with a bobbing head. Every phrase had a lilting singsong quality to it. As he finished speaking, his skin color gradually returned to the original bright yellow.

First contact always needed to be handled very carefully, but Captain Janeway was a little stressed not to burst out laughing. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Chakotay sitting with his hand over his mouth, obviously struggling with the same dilemma. She didn't dare look at him fully or she knew she'd lose it.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Prefect Lenree. I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the star ship Voyager. We're from the United Federation of Planets and a long way from home. We are hoping we might obtain permission for safe passage through your space and perhaps to trade for supplies to help with our long journey."

The prefect's skin began to change color even before he spoke again. "Delighted we be to trade! Many visitors we have, come you here, rest you must, relaxing we give you. Always we like visitors! Much exchange of ideas, understandings new." The bobbing head finally slowed.

Janeway glanced around to see Harry's head lowered, keenly interested in his console, while Tom was suddenly engulfed in a coughing fit. "We will be in orbit around Tenaren in less than a day by our time and will contact you upon our arrival for permission to meet."

She thought the colorful head was going to bob right off. "Tremendous this is. Happy we be to meet you, Captain Kathryn Janeway of star ship Voyager. Anticipate tomorrow with greatest joy we do." The bobbing was still going when the signal finally ended.

Kathryn just lowered her head, while a strained silence filled the bridge. When she finally looked at Commander Chakotay, he was tugging on one ear and desperately trying to control his features. "Well Captain, you got your wish. At first contact, they do appear to be friendly."

That was the last straw and everyone, except Tuvok, broke out laughing. Just when they thought they were under control, Tom set them off again by stating, "Certainly better than a photon torpedo."

After Kathryn had wiped her eyes, she turned to her tactical officer, "Commander Tuvok, I believe you are going to have to postpone your drills for another day. You're the only one who will be able to accompany me on tomorrow's negotiations and keep a straight face." At the whoop from the pilot she added, "Gentlemen, please note I said, postpone, not cancel. Tuvok, contact Mr. Neelix as well and ask him to be prepared to join us."

"Aye, Captain."

"Harry, when can we expect to be in orbit around Tenaren?"

"By 0530 tomorrow, Captain."

"Well," she murmured just loud enough for Chakotay to hear, "this is certainly going to be interesting."

"Aye, Captain," he grinned at her, then echoed Tom's words, "better than a photon torpedo." They both looked away quickly lest they broke up again.

When Chakotay stepped into Kathryn's quarters that evening, he couldn't stop his slow smile of appreciation at the sight of her. Her hair had grown out so that it flowed loose around her shoulders. The sleeveless turtleneck dress was a soft black material that showed her trim arms and clung to her upper body. It swirled in a calf-length A line skirt around her legs. Strappy black high-heeled sandals and small drop earrings completed the outfit.

"Kathryn, you don't play fair," he told her.

Her eyebrows raised. "What are you talking about, Chakotay?"

He just shook his head at her. "If your superior pool skills don't overcome Paris tonight, that dress will put him away for sure. I know it's certainly distracting me."

She smiled back at him, and there it was again, the joy twining around them. He drew her hand through his arm and they exited for the holodeck.

Tom and Harry were already at the pool table when they entered. Tom's head snapped a double take at the sight of his captain, causing Chakotay to murmur in her ear, "What did I tell you?" At the sight of her grin, he pulled back from her slightly. "Kathryn, you are wicked. You wore that dress on purpose, didn't you?"

She just lifted her eyes coyly and asked, "Care to buy a girl a drink, Commander?"

As Harry bent to his next shot, Tom said to his friend, "Harry, old pal. I do believe something has changed."

Harry sank the shot and straightened up to follow Tom's gaze to the command team at the bar. They stood side by side, heads close, talking quietly. "I don't know Tom, it doesn't really look any different to me." He walked around the table for his next shot, which he missed.

"Look again," was Tom's response. While Tom proceeded to clear the table, Harry did just that as the command team leaned against the bar with their drinks. After a couple of minutes, he thought Tom might be right. There was nothing specific that was different, but something was.

"Captain, you're looking particularly lovely tonight."

She turned to her chief pilot with a smile, "Thank you, Tom."

"Are you ready, Captain?" he asked with a cocky grin. "I've taken care of Harry, here. How about a game?"

"You really are a glutton for punishment, aren't you Lieutenant," Kathryn said and picked up a cue.

"I don't know. I feel lucky tonight."

Chakotay watched from the bar for a while, enjoying the game until Tom missed and it was Kathryn's turn. The sight of her trim form stretched over the table began an uncomfortable stirring in him that went to full bloom when just before one of her shots, her eyes lifted to meet his. He saw the look in her eyes and recognized that she knew exactly what she was doing to him. She calmly sank her shot.

"Jenny was right."

Chakotay turned to see B'Elanna standing next to him with a fresh drink in her hand. "How so?"

She was watching the game as well. "The captain, the Delaneys, Seven and I were shopping on d'Narra when we were there a month ago, supposedly looking for casual clothes for Seven. Jenny pulled that dress out of a rack and practically pushed the captain into a fitting room to try it on. She insisted it would be fabulous on her. She was right, wasn't she?"

Chakotay took in B'Elanna's appraising look before answering, "Remind me to thank Ensign Delaney at some point."

B'Elanna grinned up at him. "Something's changed, hasn't it Chakotay." It was more a statement than a question.

He looked at her for a long moment as though assessing something, before holding out his hand. "Care to dance, B'E?"

B'Elanna gave him a long look back and a smirky kind of grin and then put her hand in his to join a few others on the dance floor. B'Elanna looked up at her old friend. They'd settled into the slow rhythm of the song when she continued. "We were simply stunned at how great the dress looked on her and we couldn't think of anything to say. Then Jenny just blurted out, 'Well that will certainly knock Commander Chakotay's socks off'."

At that, Chakotay pulled back enough to look at B'Elanna with a 'you're-pushing-it' expression. "Oh? And what did that captain say to that?"

B'Elanna continued, "Jenny was mortified when she realized what had popped out of her mouth until she saw the wicked grin on the captain's face.

Seven capped the moment by inquiring how this garment would effect the removal of the commander's socks." Chakotay finally gave in and laughed. "I can just picture it." He straightened up very tall, cocked his head to the side and lifted his eyebrow. In a monotone voice he intoned, "I fail to see how this garment would effect the removal of the commander's socks."

B'Elanna burst out laughing. "I see you haven't lost your touch for mimicry. You used to keep us all entertained during our down moments in the Maquis." It was true; any down time they'd had in the Maquis had been 'moments.' He'd hoped his impersonation of Seven had diverted B'Elanna's attention, but he should have known better. "So, is it working?" she asked.

He looked at her, confused, "What?"

"Still got your socks?"

He stopped their dance long enough to tug his pant leg aside to reveal his sock still firmly in place. As they companionably finished their dance, an idea began to form in his head. He watched Kathryn with a new awareness spreading through him that she'd worn that dress for him, not to win any pool game.

Three games of humiliation later, Kathryn stopped. "It's a captain's duty to look after her crew, and I can't do this to one of my own any more. Lieutenant, I really think you should report to our unofficial ship's counselor or perhaps I should make an appointment for you with the doctor."

Chakotay and Harry took over the pool table, being fairly evenly matched in skill. Tom asked the computer for a 20th Century jive, which he started with B'Elanna, but she quickly grew exasperated with the fast tricky footwork. "Forget it, Flyboy. Get someone who knows this stuff." She went over to the table where the captain was sitting with a couple of the crew and unceremoniously dragged her by the wrist over to Tom. "Come on, Captain Ballerina, you dance with Mr. Fancy Feet here."

"Come on, Captain, what do you say? Let's not waste this great music," Tom cajoled.

The captain rolled her eyes but held her hand out to her pilot. They worked well together. As they moved smoothly through the fast turns, spins and footwork, they were a pleasure to watch, especially to a certain pool player. Unfortunately, the distraction caused him to lose the game. Chakotay could see Tom was getting winded, while Kathryn was still raring to go. He took the opportunity to slip from the holodeck for a moment.

When the song ended, Tom mocked-collapsed to the floor in a position of obeisance. "I concede! You are the Queen Supreme! You're better at pool, you're better at dancing, you're better at everything," he gasped.

Kathryn was laughing but blushing at the same time. "Get up, Tom!" she tugged at his arm, clearly embarrassed. "Don't make me ask the First Officer to assign you sanitation duty next roster." When she finally got him to his feet, she propelled him toward a snickering B'Elanna, saying, "I'm actually not better at everything. I'll admit you are a better pilot than I am."

Tom turned and bowed formally to her, "Thank you, Captain. It's always a pleasure to be beaten by you."

B'Elanna growled at him, "If any woman's going to beat you, Helmboy, I believe that job falls to me."

He smiled down at her, "Right you are, my little turtledove." B'Elanna just swatted him.

Still laughing, Kathryn looked around for Chakotay, but didn't spot him so she headed back to the bar where she'd left her drink. After a couple of sips, she felt a presence behind her and knew it was him. He murmured into her ear, "B'Elanna told me how Jenny Delaney persuaded you to buy that dress."

She lowered her head for a moment, then turned slowly to face him. He stood very close to her, such that she had to look up at him. "And is it working?" she said very quietly, teasing him.

By way of answer, Chakotay took her free hand and opened it, palm up, placing something in the center. At first glance it appeared to be a ball of black wool. Then she realized what she was holding was a very neatly rolled pair of socks, tops folded down right over the toes so they formed a tight ball. She wondered who had taught him to fold his socks like that. He caught her attention again as he bent slightly, tugged his pant leg aside to reveal a bare ankle. Although she shook her head at him, she couldn't stop the wide smile that met his answering grin.

"How about a dance, Captain?" he held his hand out to her. She returned her glass to the bar, placed the wadded socks on one of the stools before taking his hand to follow him onto the floor. Even holding her loosely in a proper dance position, Chakotay was aware the softness of the material of her dress, the warmth of her body, her small hand in his, the scent of her perfume. It was a sweet kind of torment. After a couple of dances, she called it quits for the night, "I've got to be up early to go meet the Tenarens for negotiations."

Chakotay began bobbing his head, "Yes, indeed, rested you must be."

She tried to scowl at him, but didn't quite make it. "Just stop. These people could benefit us a lot."

"Of course, Captain," he bobbed his head a couple more times.

Just as they exited, Chakotay briefly placed his hand in the small of her back before letting it drop as they began walking the corridor. They said nothing, both aware of the shimmering tension between them. When the lift doors opened, again, he touched her back to guide her in ahead of him. The doors hissed shut and they turned to face them and requested their floor.

Finally Kathryn cleared her throat. The sound seemed loud after the extended silence. "I wondered if you would like to join me for coffee?" They had both been staring at the doors, and she now took a quick glance up at him. The flash of desire that passed over his features at her words stopped her breath.

Chakotay took a great gasp of air and exhaled. "Computer, halt lift." He turned toward her and she did the same, with a questioning look as to why he had stopped the lift.

He had to look down, had to look away from that beautiful face, the clear skin, and the unbelievably blue eyes. She'd asked him a question, whether he would like to join her for coffee. In her quarters. Alone, like last night. Only now with the new acknowledgement of feelings and desire between them that was simmering and in danger of boiling over. Whatever was happening between them, why now and not a week ago, or two weeks or a month from now, he didn't question. He just knew it was far too precious to be gobbled like survival rations after a long march. They both deserved better than that. The relationship deserved better than that.

"Chakotay?" He'd been staring at the floor. He took a breath and finally looked up into those eyes that now bore a slight hint of fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of having overstepped in some fashion. No, he couldn't allow that.

"Yes," was his answer, "but, no." The fear was replaced by a crooked smile of confusion. "Yes, I would like to, but no, I'm not going to." He took a step closer to her. "Kathryn, if I come in tonight, I'm going to have a very difficult time leaving, and there's just no way I want to rush things." He grinned at her. "I'm greedy. I want to savor everything slowly."

She took a step closer which brought them within inches of each other. Their eyes were locked and she whispered, "Just how slow is slowly?"

He seemed to consider her question, but answered it differently than she expected. "When we get to your quarters and I say, 'Good-night, Captain,' this is what I'm really saying." He cupped her face with both hands and took her mouth with his, his tongue fully inside, slowly searching, tasting. He traced her lips with his tongue, gently nipped her lower lip, then drew her tongue into his mouth and sucked it. His one hand slipped to the back of her neck, almost cradling her head, while the other slid down her arm to her wrist, her waist and then slowly up her side, finally coming to rest on her ribcage tantalizingly close to her breast.

He lifted his mouth from hers but didn't move away at all. They were both breathing hard as though they'd been running. He took in her flushed face, eyes still closed, lips slightly parted. Then her eyes opened and the look of passion in them almost collapsed his knees. The joy billowed in his soul, as he knew that look, those feelings he saw in her were directed toward him. A slow smile spread over his face.

Kathryn felt like she'd been caught in a powerful vortex and then dropped breathlessly back on her feet. She could feel his hands still on her and that devastating smile directed at her from such a close range. 'Wow,' was all her brain could muster.

She heard him chuckle and realized that she must have spoken out loud. As though to reinforce the "wow," his thumb on her ribcage moved just a tiny bit and oh so slightly grazed the underside of her breast. Such a tiny movement to cause such a powerful jolt to shoot through her. Her breath inhaled sharply and she couldn't silence the sigh of yearning.

Still not moving away from her and his eyes holding hers he said, "Computer, resume lift." The excitement and anticipation danced between them and they didn't move from their positions until the doors began to open. Chakotay dropped his hands, faced forward and placed one hand on her low back again to escort her out of the lift.

They walked along the corridor towards their quarters, nodding to a couple of crew along the way, staying the correct distance away from each other. Kathryn's breathing was shallow as her door came within view, her heart pounding in her ears.

As she keyed in her code, he stood behind her close enough that she could feel the heat off him and his breath stirred the hair on the back of her neck. Finally the door swished open and she turned to face him.

He stood looking down at her and then his eyes dropped to her lips. Another slow smile spread over his face and his voice sounded deeper than normal, "Good night, Captain."

She was instantly drawn back to the turbolift and the whole incredible kiss replayed in her mind as she watched his face with widening eyes. She felt like she was being kissed all over again. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips and began to smile at the sight of the flame that shot up in his eyes. "Good night, Chakotay." She stepped backwards into her quarters, their gazes holding until she was finally far enough inside to cause the door to shut.

How could it be, such anticipation and such contentment at the same time? Such excitement and such peace together. Such joy and simplicity amidst such complexity. Had anyone told her 48 hours prior that she would be commencing a romantic relationship with her first officer and best friend, she'd have either laughed or had them scanned for being under alien influence. Yet here she was, here they were, and there was no sense of panic of violating protocols, no fear of 'what if,' just a sense of rightness and peace. Like a pathway suddenly made visibly clear. As she lay in bed, she put her hand on the wall that separated their two quarters and thought about the walls between them that had already come down and wondered how many more would fall. Would they crash down, slide away, or simply dissolve?

Back on the holodeck, before Tom and B'Elanna headed home to bed, Tom asked Harry to stick around and shut the program down since he was on Beta shift the next day. When Harry finally closed down Sandrines, he was mystified to find what proved to be a ball of rolled up socks remaining on the floor after the program shimmered away. After considering them for a moment, he finally just shrugged and tossed them into the nearest recycler.

Feedback? Please.

© Brianna Thomas, November 2001 Please email me to post/distribute elsewhere.