TRUTH AND LIES

Why did she feel so uneasy? Everything in the Nekrit Expanse appeared to be quiet, in fact, downright boring. Nothing unusual to be detected as far as the scanners could reach. Tom complained that they should rename the region the Negative Expanse.

Yet it was taking all of Janeway's self-control to remain in her chair and not to pace. Chakotay and Kaplan weren't due back from their scouting mission for a few hours, and yet she felt on edge, a niggling in her mind like a mental itch that couldn't be scratched. Something felt off.

She'd never had a particularly high PSI reading, so maybe it was just a case of Delta Quadrant-itus. Since she and Chakotay returned from New Earth several months ago, there had been one crisis after another. It was enough to set a monk on edge. Or a Vulcan.

"I believe I may have found something to pique Mr. Paris' interest, Captain," Tuvok said. "It's an unidentified ship on long range scanners."

It wasn't just any ship. It was the one thing that could make hearts pound and send a cold shiver of fear through the most seasoned warrior.

A Borg cube.

"Red alert!" Janeway barked, rising from her chair. "All stop, shields to maximum, standby all weapons." Even as she issued the orders, she wondered, was this why she'd been feeling uneasy? Were Chakotay and Kaplan even now aboard that cube, having arms and eyes removed to be turned into drones? The horror of it was too much to contemplate and she violently shoved the thought away. She knew Chakotay would rather be dead than have that happen. Don't let him be there, please don't let him be there, she silently implored. "Tuvok, are they scanning us?"

"Negative. In fact, none of the Borg systems appear to be operational," Tuvok replied, tapping his console.

"He's right," Harry added. "They're adrift. There are no active energy signatures, no life signs at all."

Tom let out a long sigh of relief and spoke for the rest of the bridge. "Well, that was a jolt of adrenalin I could have done without. Talk about going from zero to ten and back again on the stress scale."

"All the same, we should avoid complacency," Tuvok cautioned. "The Borg are known to retrieve their damaged technology."

"That's exactly why we're going to board that ship," Janeway stated. At the crew's startled reaction, she added, "This is a rare opportunity to learn as much as we can about Borg technology, and we may find a weakness we can use against them at a later date. Tuvok, assemble an away team. B'Elanna, I want you to join them and see if you can figure out what disabled that cube. Tom, take us within transporter range."

As everyone jumped to carry out their orders, she muttered under her breath, "Chakotay, where the hell are you?"

While waiting in her ready room for the return of the away team, Janeway tried to work. When she'd read the same report three times, she tossed the PADD aside with a sigh, and rose to get another coffee from the replicator. She stared at the large, black cube through her viewport. After every bitter dish the Delta Quadrant had served them, now it was the Borg. They'd known they would encounter The Collective sooner or later; she'd hoped it would be later - much, much later.

When she and Chakotay returned from New Earth, Janeway had thought that after a period of adjustment, they would have an opportunity to explore the deeper relationship that had begun to blossom on that idyllic planet. But the immediate takeover by Seska and the Kazon had plunged them into an unending series of critical events; at different times, the near deaths of every member of her senior staff, including herself, the potential end of the future by Starling, and the end of the universe via civil war in the Q Continuum. Janeway was beginning to realize that in the Delta Quadrant, there was no such thing as an ideal time to begin a personal relationship.

The difficulties had been many and varied, both on and off the ship. It was bugs on New Earth that had separated the command team from Voyager's crew. Back onboard, a few months later the ship had been infested with macroviruses as big as the primate on New Earth. There were multiple alien intelligences trying to taking over their minds, and violent, implacable foes who would sooner shoot than talk. Janeway had reached the conclusion that the goal of getting home through the Delta Quadrant was much easier said than done.

Although the challenges had been great, Voyager had been lucky and made great progress in two and a half years, but the remaining journey could still take as much as sixty-seven more years. As captain, part of her role was to set an optimistic tone for the crew, to be an anchor of faith in the swirling seas of uncertainty. But as a Human, there were moments in her heart of hearts, when that well-spring of hope ran dry. When she was truly honest with herself, she wondered just how long it would be before their luck ran out.

As much as she had once referred to Tuvok as her moral compass, she also recognized the absolute necessity of having someone with whom she could be upfront with her thoughts and feelings. Someone to whom she could honestly reveal those moments of doubts and fears, a touchstone who was strong enough in themselves to listen, and then gently point her back to the right track. More and more, that touchstone, that someone had become Chakotay.

The uneasiness still churned within her, and sipping her coffee, she murmured once more, "Where the hell are you, Chakotay?"

The next few hours brought some revelation to that question. The report on the Borg cube showed that it had been inoperational for five years. But the doctor and B'Elanna discovered from an autopsy of a drone corpse that activating a backup neuro-electric cell caused the drone to reset to its original programming. Very disconcerting, considering there were eleven hundred drones on that cube. At least they now knew Chakotay and Kaplan weren't among them.

Controlled excitement and questions swept the bridge at the discovery of a message buoy left by Chakotay's shuttle. It pointed them toward a nearby planet that had issued a Federation distress call. Had these people also been drawn to the Delta Quadrant by the Caretaker, or were they like the '37s, brought here by the Briori long ago?

"Captain, we're being hailed from the planet," Harry announced. "Audio only."

"Let's hear it, Mr. Kim." Janeway stood facing the viewscreen, even though it was only an audio message.

The voice coming through was thin, affected by static, yet distinct nonetheless. "Chakotay to Voyager."

The relief that flooded her entire being at the sound of his voice was so overwhelming, she felt a little lightheaded, and she sat in her chair. Now was a fine time to realize she'd had nothing but coffee since breakfast, hours ago. She cleared her throat. "It's good to hear your voice, Commander."

"And you, Captain. I apologize for the audio only. I injured my hand and was only able to repair the audio of their communications array."

Setting aside her joy at hearing from him, Janeway drew upon her professionalism and inquired, "How are you and Ensign Kaplan?"

Pause. Static. Janeway had just turned to Harry, eyebrow raised in query when Chakotay spoke again.

"I'm okay now, but unfortunately, Ensign Kaplan was killed in the initial attack."

Dual strains of pain and relief lanced through her at the same time. Pain at the loss of yet another crewmember she'd sworn to get home, and relief that Chakotay would still be with her. "I'm sorry to hear that. What was the attack about? You said you're all right now?"

Another pause, longer than the first. "It's complicated, Captain. Perhaps it would be best if myself and Ri-, ah, Dr. Frazier, the leader of the co-operative beamed aboard."

That niggling prickle was back. "Certainly," she replied. "Come directly to the briefing room as soon as you arrive."

"I'll need to make a stop in sickbay first to repair my hand. Chakotay out." He abruptly signed off.

Now she was definitely concerned. When Janeway turned to look at Tuvok, he raised both eyebrows at her. Knowing him as long and as well as she did, it was the Vulcan equivalent of jaw-gaping shock.

"Shall I provide an escort for the commander and the guest?" he toned.

"Do that, Tuvok."

Twenty impatient minutes later, Janeway strode into the briefing room. She didn't know what she'd been expecting, but she knew the beautiful, petite dark blonde woman in a plain dress wasn't it. Her relief at the sight of Chakotay looking physically well was immediately tempered by the fact that he was unable to look her in the eye. He radiated thick tension mixed with some emotion she couldn't identify. Although he sat perfectly still in his chair, the lethally tight grip he had on the armrests told her he was as controlled as a caged animal. Her eyes flicked from Chakotay to the co-operative's leader and back.

At that moment, Janeway knew it wasn't Voyager whose luck had run out. It was hers.

Heat flooded her cheeks despite the fact she was sure environmental controls had suddenly gone offline and dropped the temperature in the room. Her hands were ice cold, and she had to resist the temptation to wrap her arms around herself and rub life into her frozen limbs.

Chakotay didn't look at either Janeway or the woman he introduced as Dr. Riley Frazier, former Starfleet science officer aboard the Roosevelt, and assimilated at Wolf 359. She was now the unofficial leader of the co-operative.

Never had Janeway been more grateful for the excellent and thorough command training from Starfleet. On one level, her mind operated clearly, listening to Dr. Frazier and Chakotay as they explained the conditions of the planet and how he had been rescued and saved from death by a temporary link with members of the new co-operative. She asked questions, gave answers, functioned normally as a Starfleet captain should. Efficient. Unemotional. Tuvok would have been proud.

But on another level, her mind was screaming in anguish at the loss of something she'd never had. She felt as if a part of her soul had been severed as violently as the Borg severed a limb. Only there would be no grafted appendage that could ever replace the evisceration of her heart.

Every breath was laborious, yet she felt almost detached from herself as she calmly listened to Riley Frazier outline how the co-operative wanted to reactivate the neuro-electric generator for a few minutes to re-establish the link of all the former Borg on the planet. The intention was to recreate the solidarity of understanding they'd all had as Borg, and bring an end to the violence and chaos that currently reigned.

"Dr. Frazier," Janeway began, marveling at how normal she sounded, "you were once Starfleet, so you know the Prime Directive as well as I . I cannot give you weapons, but I'll give you medical supplies, and Voyager's engineers can assist in upgrading your security. But as to what you're proposing, I have to tell you I'm extremely skeptical. We already know from the autopsy of a Borg corpse that once their backup neuro-electric cell is triggered, the drone resets to its original programming. Even an instant of activation could create a huge problem right here, as well as potentially attract other Borg vessels. In fairness however, I promise I'll give it further thought."

Janeway signaled Andrews, who stepped forward beside Dr. Frazier, and the leader of the co-operative quietly rose and headed for the door. All the while, Chakotay's eyes remained downcast, until the last second. Dr. Frazier looked over her shoulder at that moment, and their eyes met. The intensity of the gaze was like accelerant to a fire.

Janeway's temples began to throb as hundreds of tiny Lilliputian hammers began a rhythmic tattoo. She was not looking forward to the coming discussion with Chakotay. Did he want to remain here with Riley and the co-operative? He'd always had a heart for the underdog, and the development of cultures. How could Voyager manage without him? How could she? But if he wanted to stay with Riley, she would have to do the unthinkable, the impossible. She would have to let him go.

The very second the door slid shut behind the doctor, Chakotay turned the intense fire of his gaze to her. "Kathryn, you cannot possibly be considering helping them! I implore you, don't do this!"

This was not what she'd expected at all, and she stared at him blankly for a moment. At her silence, Chakotay surged to his feet so violently, his chair crashed into the wall behind him. He ignored it and began pacing agitatedly, as though the last of his self-control had snapped with the exit of the co-operative's leader.

Hope began to rise, and Janeway quickly regrouped herself. "What do you mean? You were linked to them; did you sense something negative? Any hidden agenda, any destructive intent?"

Hands clenched into fists, he shook his head, continuing to pace. In the two and a half years Janeway had known this man, she'd never seen him so upset, so tense.

"It doesn't matter," he retorted, finally facing her. "They lied about who and what they are, they lied about the nature of the link, and Riley-" He stopped, then shouted at her, "They cannot be trusted!" Slamming his palms flat on the table for emphasis, Chakotay grimaced, swore viciously and backed away, shaking one hand.

"Chakotay!" Janeway rose quickly to his side, taking the injured hand in hers. "I thought you stopped at sickbay to get this healed."

"I did," he grunted, pulling his hand away from her, "but it was a break, so it will take a day or so to completely settle."

"You broke your hand?" Janeway exclaimed, horrified. "Was that in the initial attack or subsequently?"

"Subsequently." He turned away from her abruptly. "Captain, I request permission to be dismissed. I've been wearing the same uniform for days now, and I need…I need…"

Alarm was pricking at her and she tugged at his arm, attempting to draw him around. He tried to shrug off her hand, but she held on. "Chakotay, how did you break your hand? Did they harm you?"

He wouldn't look at her, but he shook his head again. "I broke it punching a wall. Kathryn, please, I need to get to my quarters."

Never before had he withheld information from her. She could swear she saw embarrassment mixed with his anger. "It's obvious you're reluctant to talk about this for some reason, but I need to know what happened. How else can I make a fully informed decision about their request?"

The fight seemed to go out of him, and he sighed, letting his head drop back, eyes closed. Tension still radiated from him, but she could also see the deep lines of weariness on his face. He was clearly at the end of his tether, physically and emotionally.

He opened his eyes and stared at her hand still resting on his sleeve. His voice was halting as he began. "After the link healed me, Riley came to see how I was. Orum, who is their Romulan medic, had said that the link was only temporary. Yet when she touched her own arm, I could feel it. Riley said it was a residual effect from the link and would last an hour or two. On top of that, I could hear her thoughts; I knew what she wanted."

The tightness around his eyes increased as he paused. Janeway made herself stay perfectly still, saying nothing. She prepared herself for the razor sharp stab of pain she knew was coming.

Swallowing slowly, he continued. "She started touching herself more intimately, and I could feel it all. I told her I was sorry, but I didn't feel like that for her, and I asked her to stop, but she just kept on."

Chakotay pulled away from Janeway and began striding back and forth again. Agitation fueled his voice. "I told her I didn't want that, shouted at her to stop it, but she wouldn't. I finally grabbed her and threw her out of the room and barricaded the door. I couldn't hear her thoughts any more, but I could still feel what she was doing to herself. Every touch, every stroke. I was yelling at the top of my lungs, throwing things around the room, but she wouldn't quit. I thought I'd go out of my mind, and that's when I punched the wall. I needed the pain to distract me."

Tightly gripping the back of a chair next to where she stood, Chakotay hunched forward. "I was so aroused, it was agony, but they'd lied about so much, I didn't know if she'd also lied about how long the residual effects would last. I didn't dare masturbate to get relief in case Riley would be able to feel it, and there was no way I wanted that woman to get any pleasure from me."

He finally looked her in the eye. "She would have known from the link that I hadn't been with anyone since Seska, and she'd have known full well what I feel for you. Yet she did that anyway. She apologized the next morning, but it was too little, too late by then. I wouldn't allow Orum to repair my hand because I wanted the pain to keep me sharp. And now..." He glanced away again. "Well, now I need to get to my quarters for some privacy."

For the second time that day, relief was an overwhelming tidal wave, and she reached forth a hand to steady herself, grabbing the chair back right beside Chakotay's hand. Her thumb brushed his little finger and she saw the shiver that went through him. Once again, this wasn't what she expected to hear from him. Half of her roiled in anger and she personally wanted to throttle Riley Frazier, while on the other half, dual strains of hope and joy welled up within her.

Two and a half years ago, she'd only known him via his Starfleet file; he'd merely been an assignment. Now, their lives were inexorably twined together. Studying the tense, exhausted man before her, she made her decision, and it was an easy one to make. He had suffered because of his devotion to her and he'd suffered long enough: they both had.

"Chakotay-"

"Tuvok to the captain."

Chakotay snorted and swore under his breath as Janeway sighed and tapped her badge. "Janeway here."

"Captain, Alpha shift has concluded, and unless you require my presence further, I shall hand the bridge over to Ensign Kim."

"Status?" she inquired.

"All systems functioning within normal ranges, the Borg cube remains unchanged, and we continue in orbit around the planet," he replied calmly.

"That's fine, Tuvok. Inform Mr. Kim I will not be returning to the bridge, but will go off shift directly from the briefing room." She glanced at Chakotay, his shoulders hunched, facial features tight, his hands again fisted at his sides. "And Commander Chakotay will be off duty for the next twelve hours to recover from his injuries."

"Acknowledged. Tuvok out."

Once the connection terminated, Janeway murmured with a slight grin, "There. Since I know that you and Tuvok have an arrangement that I'm to be left undisturbed in the evening unless absolutely necessary, that should give us the privacy we need."

His head snapped up. "Us? We?" A deep frown creased his forehead, giving him a fierce appearance, and he shook his head vehemently as her intent dawned on him. "No, Kathryn. I sure as hell don't want or need a pity fuck from you. I'll deal with this on my own, same as I have since we arrived in the Delta Quadrant."

"If you think talking tough is going to put me off, you don't know me that well," she retorted, facing off with him, hands on her hips. "I'm the one who should be concerned here, don't you think? What if you just use me for release and then say, 'Thanks Captain, you're a pretty good lay. See you on the bridge tomorrow'?"

He had the grace to laugh. "Believe me, that would never happen. I've wanted you far too long for that. But Kathryn, when we come together - and we will - I don't want it to be like this. I want to be able to love you properly, the way I've always imagined."

Her heart sang at his words and she slid her hand over his. His hands were big, sure, strong, and dependable, like the man himself. She looked up into his face, so worn, so dear to her. "Chakotay, I figured that when we returned to Voyager from New Earth, that after a time of adjustment for both us and the crew, you and I could continue to explore what we'd begun on that planet. But the Delta Quadrant has conspired against us with unending critical events ever since we got back."

As his eyes widened in surprise, she shrugged and grinned. "Don't sell yourself short, you big lug. You can be pretty persuasive when you put your mind to it. Unless you create personal ancient legends for every girl you're stranded with." His dimpled grin sent a shiver through her as it always did.

She sobered, and spoke seriously. "Chakotay, earlier when you were still missing, I realized there will never be a good time to begin a personal relationship out here. You know the Starfleet regulations about senior officers not pressuring subordinates into relationships, so I would never try to force you if you really want to delay. But honestly, I think if we wait for circumstances to line up for us, it'll be like waiting for Q to stop being a pest."

Chakotay searched her face, then sighed, acquiescing. "I trust you Kathryn, I always have. But I wanted to woo you, cook dinner for you, dance with you. I wanted to court you. I've always dreamed of our first time, making love to you slowly and thoroughly."

His words were both hot and tender. Tears threatened her and she rubbed her forehead against his solid, firm chest. Of all the terrible blows that the Delta Quadrant had landed on them, why shouldn't they have something good? She looked into his eyes, and teased with a grin. "You can still do that, in fact, I wouldn't expect anything less of you. Just later."

If she'd thought the look he'd leveled at Riley Frazier was intense, the heat from his gaze as he looked her down and up was a scorching fire. Keeping hold of her hands, he drew her arms outward to the sides, pulling their bodies together. Heat fissioned through her at the contact, despite the layers of uniform.

He growled roughly in her ear, "You'd better get me out of here, because this table looks very uncomfortable, and the briefing room is far too close to the bridge for my liking. This isn't going to be quiet or pretty. I was in a bad way before, and the idea of making love to you isn't helping matters." He arched his hips, the strident power of his erection pressing against her belly.

"You're right," she gasped. "We need to get out of here. Computer, site-to-site transport for Commander Chakotay and myself to his quarters."

As soon as they materialized in the middle of the living room, a sense of awkward uneasiness descended over them both. Chakotay's eyes darted to her, then quickly away. Janeway had rarely been in his quarters, and only as his captain. This step from friendly colleagues to lovers was not the usual smooth, gradual transition.

Once again, Chakotay flicked a brief glance at her. He swallowed slowly and licked his lips. "Kathryn, you don't need to do this, if you're having second thoughts."

His words galvanized her, and she walked to his table. Slowly, she began taking her pips off, the symbol of her position, that which had kept them apart. "The only thing that will stop me, is if you don't want me." She lined up the pips neatly on the table, then stirred her finger through them, watching the patterns they made, and sighed deeply. "Why can't something be simple in this damned quadrant?"

The sudden closing of his arms around her sent the pips scattering across the floor. She gasped in shock as he half dragged, half carried her to the bedroom. He had her jacket off and thrown to the floor before her own hands began to move. Reaching behind her, she tugged at the turtleneck until it gave way, then the tank and undergarments followed. She pulled the clips from her hair, shaking her head to loosen the strands.

She stood before him, bare to the waist, no longer a captain, or even an officer. Just Kathryn, the woman. Chakotay's eyes raked her, burning her with the intensity of his gaze, then with a growl he hauled her to him. His head lowered, and she tilted her face to meet him.

But his mouth didn't go to her lips, or even her neck. He closed his mouth around a nipple and began to suck vigorously, wringing a cry from her at the sudden jolt of sensation shooting through her. It was too much, and although her spine arched, dangling her hair down her back, when he shifted to her other breast, she pushed at his shoulders to stop.

He released her, and her moistened nipples puckered in the cool air. She reached shaking hands to his jacket, working at divesting him of his garments while he yanked at her trousers. They were making a mess of it; the rasp of ripping cloth and popping fasteners mingling with the sounds of fractured gasps as fingers brushed heated skin.

Finally they were both naked, and Kathryn barely had a chance to appreciate the beauty of the man before he pulled her into the bathroom. "Computer, initiate water shower, hot," he ordered in a harsh voice. In the next second, they were inside the cubicle, water pounding their flesh.

The water was almost scalding, sluicing over their bodies, washing away the sweat, dirt, and dust. Washing away the exhaustion, the weariness of body and soul, cleansing the past wounds and disappointments.

His body was big, strong, powerfully muscled, bearing the evidence of battles fought, and hard won. This was not a pretty boy from the gym, but a warrior conditioned in the violence of war. Chakotay leaned in the corner of the shower, legs spread wide. His sex stood out hard and throbbing from his body, his scrotum tight and angry red.

Kathryn had little vanity about her body, always regarding it as merely something to maintain so she could perform her job. But there was hunger in his slitted eyes as he reached for her, skimming his strong hands over her hips, her waist, her breasts, then one hand anchored in her soaked hair. The power of his passion for her awakened a renewed sense of self, her own sensuality as a woman, and through his eyes, a desirable woman.

She lathered her hands in soap and slid them over his chest. The contrast in their coloring fascinated her, the hard planes of his muscles compared to her feminine softness. When her hands skated over his lower abdominals, following the thin line of dark hair, he gasped, and stopped her with a bruising grip on her wrists.

"Let me, Chakotay, please," she implored. "You need this."

His eyes were scrunched tight, his chest heaved with exertion as slowly, slowly he released her hands. At her first touch on his sex, he cried out and flung his arms wide against either wall. She stroked him carefully, gently at first, then with firmer motions, but he'd been holding back for so long, he was unable to find his release.

"It's safe, Chakotay," she whispered to him. "It's safe to let go."

"I…" he groaned through clenched teeth. "I can't."

Kathryn sank to her knees before him, the water pouring over them both. Holding his thighs, she took him in her mouth. An agonized cry wrenched from him. Looking up through the billowing steam, she could see Chakotay's head thrown back, his face contorted, arms braced against the walls, legs spread wide for support.

She continued to suckle him until he grabbed her upper arms, yanking her to her feet, and slammed his mouth onto hers. Her lower lip split from the force, and she tasted blood as he screamed into her mouth. Semen squirted in pulses between their two bodies, then washed away in the cleansing torrent of water.

The kiss gradually gentled until their mouths separated. Chakotay's head drooped against her neck, his heaving breath hot on her shoulder. When he lifted his head, his eyes fell to her bruised mouth. "I'm sorry," he murmured, lightly touching her lower lip with his finger. At her slight wince, he added, "Let's get this fixed."

The shower stopped automatically as they both stepped from the cubicle. He handed her a towel, not bothering with one for himself, and he padded out of the room briefly. Kathryn ran the towel over her face and hair, and when she slid the towel back, Chakotay had returned, dermal regenerator in hand.

"Do I want to know why you have that in your possession?" she asked.

Taking her chin in one hand, he slowly passed the instrument back and forth over her lip. "No blood-letting ceremonies, I assure you. Just the rare tag from boxing," he replied.

"And boxing isn't a blood-letting sport?"

"Only for your opponent if you're good enough."

He placed the regenerator on the sink, and ran his thumb over her lip again. The skin was still sensitive and she licked her lips. His eyes darkened when the tip of her tongue lightly flicked over his thumb.

Sliding his hand through her still damp hair to cup her head, he ran the back of his other hand down her arm. "I knew you'd be beautiful, Kathryn, but even my fantasies couldn't come close."

Environmentals had compensated in the bathroom, and the full-length mirror in the shower door was clear of steam. She glanced at herself and saw nothing different from usual: pale skin, average height, slight build, small breasts. Nothing to warrant particular interest, except perhaps her reddish-tinged hair, now tousled from the towel. She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm glad you think so, but I don't see it."

Staring at her incredulously for a moment, Chakotay spun her to face the mirror, his hands at her waist. "Then see yourself through my eyes."

She stared in the mirror at their dual reflections where he stood just behind her, his hands, so dark compared to her fairness. Water droplets still glistened on their skin, reflecting the light like tiny diamonds.

"Look at your tiny waist; my hands almost span it," he bent to whisper in her ear. "Your skin is alabaster white, and smooth as satin." He turned his face to kiss her temple. "And you hair is like a flaming sunset. I've dreamed of running my hands through your hair." His hands began to move, slowly gliding upward to caress and cup her breasts. "Your breasts are firm, and see how they fit so perfectly in my hands? See how your nipples stand so proudly for me? You're magnificent, my Woman Warrior."

It was all too much. The sound of his hotly murmured words continued, sometimes in a language she didn't recognize, the sound of her own accelerated breathing became loud in her ears. The sight in the mirror of their bodies, his hands moving on her, one hand reaching between her legs to stroke and probe her, coupled with the escalating sensations spiraling through her from his touch, the prod of his renewed erection against the small of her back, the scent of her own arousal. It all swirled together like a tsunami wave, and the wanton woman in the mirror parted her lips, but a loud wail burst from her own throat as her climax swept her away.

The pulsing within her had barely subsided when he carried her to his bed. He lay on his back, positioning her over him. "Go on, my Woman Warrior. Let me be your stallion; ride me, my love."

His narrow hips were between her spread thighs, his body shining with water from the shower and fresh sweat. Chakotay held himself very still as she slowly lowered herself onto him, taking her time to let her body adjust after the long abstinence. She closed her eyes to better savor the wondrous feeling, the uniting of bodies that went far beyond mere flesh.

Opening her eyes, she leaned forward to run her hands over his muscular chest. "I knew we'd be good together, Chakotay," she told him, her voice huskier than ever. "I've always known it." Giving him a seductive smile, she added, "And I happen to be quite good at bareback riding."

Breathing hard to maintain control, he settled his hands on her hips, lifting her slightly. "This isn't what I'd call bareback riding. But how are you at riding a bronco?"

He held her still and began vigorously thrusting up into her over and over, the feelings quickly breaking wildly out of control. She grabbed his wrists for security and arched her back, her hair reaching his thighs, wanting it all, taking it all, everything he had to give her, until they soared together in unity.

In the middle of the night, Kathryn awakened, momentarily disoriented as to where she was. The warmth of the strong arm around her waist, and the press of a fully aroused male behind her brought back to remembrance all that had happened between them.

Chakotay rolled her onto her tummy, then lifted her hips. His sex hung hard and heavy against her, and with a slight dip of his hips, he slid into her still sensitized flesh. She gasped as he slowly pulsed inside her. He draped himself over her body, chest to back and murmured into her ear, "Now this is what I call bareback riding."

*****

She was aware of Chakotay staring at her the moment she awoke. "What is it?" she asked without opening her eyes, and stretched languidly, noting a pleasant soreness in certain parts of her body.

"I want you to tell me something, and I want the truth."

Her eyes snapped open mid-stretch. His expression was as serious as his words. "Of course." She braced herself for whatever was coming.

He watched her closely for a few seconds before finally asking, "If we get home to the Alpha Quadrant in the near future, will you go back to Mark?"

Such a dear man, a strong, vulnerable, tenderhearted warrior. "No," she replied succinctly.

He studied her face, searching for the veracity of her answer before relaxing infinitesimally. "Just no?"

Sighing, she rolled onto her side, and placed her hand on his chest as she had so many times before. Only now, it was skin to skin. Her hand crept up to feel the life pulse in his neck, strong and steady. "Chakotay, I will always love Mark. That's something you're going to have to accept; he's been a part of my life forever. But," she paused to slide her hand up to his face, feeling the slight stubble on that firm chin, "he's not my life partner, my soul mate."

It took a moment, but she began to feel the formation of those notorious dimples under her stroking thumb. He caught her hand in his and kissed her fingers.

"Kathryn, I promise I will be discreet, but I won't hide our relationship. I don't care who approves or disapproves of us."

She rolled onto her back again, arching in another stretch. Chakotay's sharp inhalation delighted her. "Oh, I don't think there will be any point in trying to hide it, considering that by the time we reach the bridge today, I'm sure everyone down to deck fifteen will know about it."

"How do you figure that?"

"Transporter logs," she replied.

His eyes widened. "Oh."

"Oh is right. I considered erasing them right after we beamed into your quarters, but I thought, what the heck? They'll all know soon enough. Besides, I had something more important to do at the time." She waggled her eyebrows at him.

Chakotay began to smile. "Can't you just hear Neelix saying it's good for crew morale?"

Her fingers trailed over the strong muscle at his shoulder. It felt impossible to stop touching him. "Chakotay, I have something to ask you, and I also want a truthful answer."

His expression sobered and he nodded to encourage her.

Looking into his face intently to gauge his response, she asked, "If you didn't want me to help Riley activate the cube, why did you agree to introduce her to me and present her case?"

Running his fingers through her hair, he shrugged diffidently. "It was too late for Kaplan, but they did save my life. I felt I owed them." His hand slid down her back, drawing her closer. "When you walked into the briefing room, I had to hang onto the armrests to stop myself from ripping your clothes off right there." His hand continued down her back to cup her buttocks and press her pelvis forward against his strident morning erection.

Kathryn shivered at his touch, and slightly dazed, murmured, "I think that would definitely qualify as being indiscreet. You realize we will have to exercise some professionalism. Like, no fooling around in either the conference or ready rooms."

At her words, he reared back, and his splutter of laughter caused her to frown. "What?" she demanded.

He shook his head but couldn't stop chuckling. "Nothing."

Grabbing one of his earlobes, she squeezed hard. "That didn't sound like nothing, mister. Give."

"Ow!" He tugged at her hand. "Good thing I'm not a Ferengi."

"If you were, I wouldn't be in your bed and we wouldn't be having this conversation. Stop stalling and give." She reached for his other earlobe.

Chakotay ducked her hand. "Okay, okay. It's a dream I had of us making love in the ready room."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Dream or fantasy? And why does this makes you laugh?"

He shrugged. "It was a dream, but it soon became a fantasy. I was laughing because in the middle of going at it, Tuvok walked in. You were bent over the desk, and I was behind you - "

She snorted. "Typical male fantasy."

"Do you want to hear this or not?"

Waving a hand, she responded dryly, "Oh pray, do continue."

"Fine. Tuvok's eyebrows just about disappeared in his hairline, and he practically stuttered, 'I have…the report you requested, Captain. I…rang the door, but…I see you are…busy. Perhaps I will…send it directly to your console.'"

Kathryn was chuckling as she asked, "And of course, you never faltered with…?"

He shook his head and smirked. "Nope. Nary a pause. Then you told Tuvok, 'Thank…you…Tu…vok. You're…dis…missed.'"

They both dissolved into laughter. Before Kathryn had a chance to speak, Chakotay's com badge on the bedside table beeped.

"Doctor to Commander Chakotay."

Chakotay stretched his arm to tap the badge. "Chakotay here."

"Commander, I have analyzed the brief scan I was able to take of you before you scurried off to that ultra important meeting yesterday. Would you be so kind as to grace sickbay with your presence as soon as possible?"

Chakotay glanced at Kathryn and rolled his eyes at the doctor's officious sounding voice. "I'll be there shortly, Doctor. Chakotay out."

"I wonder what that's all ab-"

Beep. "Doctor to Captain Janeway."

They exchanged questioning looks, then Kathryn reached for her jacket on the floor. "Janeway here. What can I do for you, Doctor?"

"Captain, I've analyzed the scan of Commander Chakotay, plus I've completed my autopsy of Ensign Kaplan. I believe you will be interested in hearing both reports."

Kathryn mimed to Chakotay sipping a cup. He nodded understanding and exited the bedroom. She briefly admired the retreating view of glorious naked male before replying, "Thank you, Doctor. I'll just grab a coffee, and be on my way."

She stepped over the discarded clothes to the bathroom as Chakotay returned to the bedroom with two mugs in hand. "I guess we can be thankful for small mercies," he commented.

"How so?"

"It appears that the news about the transporter hasn't reached the Doctor yet."

*****

Later that morning, Janeway looked up from her console as Dr. Frazier was brought into the ready room. She gestured at the chair before her desk, and then addressed the escort. "Thank you, Crewman Dalby. Please wait outside."

After the security officer exited, Dr. Frazier inquired, "Will Commander Chakotay be joining us?"

"No, he will not," Janeway replied coolly. "For your sake, I told him to remain off the bridge until you are gone."

The doctor raised an eyebrow, but returned the captain's gaze and said, "I gather you've made your decision, and you're not going to help us."

"You are correct on both counts."

Dr. Frazier began to rise. "Then we have nothing further to say."

Janeway leaned forward, steepling her hands on the desk. "You're wrong there; I have plenty to say to you. Sit down."

The co-operative's leader reluctantly lowered back into her chair. "I don't see what else-"

With a wave of her hand, Janeway cut her off. "What I want to know is how a former Starfleet officer could possibly resort to sexual abuse?" At Frazier's shocked look, the captain continued. "Well, Doctor, what would you call it when someone tries to force sexual advances on a person who has clearly indicated such advances are not welcome?"

A look of chagrin crossed the former Borg's face. "I did apologize for that to Commander Chakotay. I've been alone for five years. I'm not proud of my actions, but you can't blame a girl for trying," she finished with a grin.

There was steel in the captain's voice as she leaned halfway across the desk. "Oh yes, I certainly can. You took advantage of the information gathered from the link, and the commander's weakened physical state. Whether you've been alone for five years or twenty-five years, there's never an excuse for sexual abuse. I think you retained a few too many Borg qualities. Your actions were reprehensible and a court-martialing offense. In the Alpha Quadrant, what you did would have landed you in New Zealand for a good, long stay."

"In case you haven't noticed, Captain Janeway, this isn't the Alpha Quadrant," Frazier snapped. "Tell me. Are you upset with my actions or just jealous that I had the guts to try for what I wanted when you never did? Although," her eyes narrowed as she studied Janeway closely, "I see that's changed now. Considering Starfleet's regulations regarding fraternization, it sounds to me like the pot calling the kettle black."

"As you well know," Janeway replied calmly, "those regulations stipulate that no senior officer shall force undesired advances on a subordinate. While I have no intention of discussing my personal life with you, rest assured, that was not the case."

Silence rang for a moment while the leader of the co-operative digested that information before the captain spoke again.

"As evil as I consider your actions toward Commander Chakotay, there is an even greater issue I called you here for."

Dr. Frazier frowned. "I don't see what else we could have to discuss."

"Ensign Kaplan."

The woman's expression shifted briefly, then resolved back to normal. "It was very unfortunate about the ensign. We were unable to help her, as she took more of a direct hit from the plasma weapon. She died almost immediately."

Captain Janeway picked up a PADD and slid it across the desk. "Like a lot of what you've told us, that's only a partial truth. Yes, Ensign Kaplan took more of a direct hit from the plasma weapon, but according to our EMH's autopsy report, the rate of tissue and organ degradation indicate that Ensign Kaplan lived quite a while. In fact, according to the timeline provided by Commander Chakotay, the Doctor is quite sure that she was still alive at the time the commander regained consciousness."

The blonde woman's silence was telling. Janeway stood and rounded her desk. "Nothing to say, Dr. Frazier? I realize that you are a science doctor and not a medical doctor, therefore not bound by the Hippocratic Oath to do no harm, but did the Borg totally destroy any sense of humanity in you, woman?"

Dr. Frazier looked away and Janeway angrily slammed her fist on the desk in front of her to bring her attention back. "You let that young woman die slowly when you could have helped her, because to have done for her what you did for the commander would have tipped your hand as to who and what you are. And I suppose you figured in the long run, a commander would be more useful to you than a mere ensign."

Staring blankly at the incriminating PADD before her, the doctor murmured, "She never regained consciousness."

Janeway straightened up and retorted sarcastically, "I'm sure that will be very comforting to her family. This is why Commander Chakotay isn't here right now. Because in addition to all your other lies, learning that you lied about Ensign Kaplan's death, well, let's just say, I've never seen him that angry. I suggest you get off my ship as quickly as you can before the commander reports for duty."

The co-operative leader rose slowly and turned to the door. With her back to the captain, she commented, "We're not evil, Captain. We're just trying to survive."

"At the expense of how many others?" Janeway replied. "Oh, and one more thing, Dr. Frazier."

The woman looked over her shoulder warily.

Janeway tapped another PADD against her palm. "That remaining link in the commander's brain that you obviously forgot to mention? You should know that the EMH has completely dissolved it, and his neuro-peptides have returned to normal, just in case you were thinking of attempting to use Chakotay in a 'Plan B'."

Dr. Frazier's face hardened and her lips pressed together in a thin line as she exited the ready room.

Half an hour later, Janeway stepped onto the bridge. Chakotay rose from his chair, studying her face intently as she approached.

"How was your discussion with Dr. Frazier?" he inquired, his jaw tight and his eyes hard.

"Interesting. I'd like to believe she'll change, but somehow I don't think that will happen." Janeway placed her hand on his arm, stroking it slightly. "We'll talk more about it over a cup of coffee later."

He smiled at her. "Make it tea, and you're on."

She shuddered, and her face grimaced. "Tea! Not much better than leola root, in my opinion."

"To each their own, I guess." He shrugged with a grin.

"For now, let's get underway again and leave the Nekrit Expanse behind us." She raised her voice. "Lieutenant Paris, prepare to break orb-"

"Captain," Harry interjected, "I'm detecting something leaving the planet's surface, and heading toward the cube."

"I need more definitive information than that, Ensign," Janeway demanded.

Harry tapped his console, studying the readings. "I can't pick up more than a localized atmospheric disturbance."

"I believe what Ensign Kim has detected is a small cloaked ship," Tuvok added.

"On screen," Janeway ordered.

It was possible to observe the slight shimmer in the atmosphere moving closer to the Borg cube.

"Orum," Chakotay stated, staring at the viewscreen.

"Commander?" Janeway looked to him for clarification.

"Their medic, Orum, is Romulan," Chakotay explained.

At that moment the cloak dissolved, and beside the cube was Voyager's missing shuttle, completely intact.

Janeway's eyes narrowed in anger. "Hail them." The screen resolved to reveal a Romulan male, with several Borg implants still evident. She addressed him coldly. "I believe you have something that doesn't belong to you."

The Romulan inclined his head. "I regret the subterfuge, Captain. Commander Chakotay, it is good to see you well, but I'm sorry I have no time to chat. Our compound is under attack."

"I thought you were a medic, Orum," Chakotay stated.

"It is my secondary field; my primary field is engineering. Unfortunately, my makeshift cloaking device was not entirely compatible with Starfleet engines."

Janeway spoke. "I cannot allow you to reactivate that cube."

Orum sadly shook his head. "With all due respect, Captain, you have no idea what it is like to survive in an environment such as this. Now, I regret I must take my leave of you. As your Vulcan officer will understand, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. If you wish to retrieve your shuttle, feel free to do so, as I will have no further need of it, but you must to do so quickly." He leaned forward to touch the console.

"Orum, no!" Chakotay shouted as the Romulan shimmered away in a transport beam. "Captain, I'll bet he's on a suicide mission. He'll probably self-destruct the cube after activating the neuro-electric generator!"

"Harry, get a lock on him and beam him out of there," Janeway ordered.

"I'm sorry, Captain, he's using personal shielding on a rotating frequency, and I can't establish a lock."

"Ingenious," Tuvok commented. "He is employing the same principle that we use to counter a Borg assault."

"Try to match the transporter frequency to the frequency of his shielding," Chakotay suggested.

"Good idea," Janeway confirmed. "And start tractoring our shuttle."

A few moments later, the Borg cube activated, and a green light speared through the darkness, bathing Voyager in an eerie glow.

"We are being scanned. The cube is powering weapons," Tuvok informed them.

"Raise shields." Janeway barked.

"If we raise shields, we will have to cut the tractor beam to the shuttle," Tuvok added.

"Better the shuttle than us," she replied. "Is the shuttle close enough to extend the shields around it?"

"Negative."

Harry looked up from his console. "Captain, the cube has initiated a self-destruct. It's going to blow in a few seconds."

"Tom, get us out of here."

"Aye, Captain." With a touch to the con, Paris sent Voyager speeding away, just as an explosion began in one section of the cube, then quickly engulfed the entire Borg structure. Debris flew passed on all sides, and the intrepid ship rocked as the shockwave hit.

"Damage report," Janeway commanded.

"Shields at 96%, all other systems normal," Tuvok replied.

"The shuttle?" Chakotay asked.

Tuvok checked his readings further. "We were able to tractor the shuttle sufficiently that it survived the blast, but with heavy damage."

"Let's get it into the shuttle bay and see if B'Elanna can work her magic," Janeway instructed.

Suddenly the ominous deep tones of the Borg resounded through the bridge. "We are the new co-operative. We have destroyed the Borg ship. We regret any injury we have caused you, but our actions were necessary for our survival. Our lasting gratitude."

Silence reined over the bridge until the captain sighed. The planet was still visible below, and she regarded it balefully. "I think I could do with that coffee now. In fact, I think I'll add a shot or two of espresso."

*****

"I thought you were going to add espresso to your coffee."

Kathryn tipped the bottle of Irish whiskey over her coffee, and leaned back on her couch, straightening her robe. She returned her bare feet to their original position in Chakotay's lap.

"It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. Plus, it seemed counterproductive to the endeavor of relaxation this evening," she replied, taking a sizeable swallow from her mug.

He crooked an eyebrow at her. "Counterproductive? Endeavor? Some pretty fancy shmancy words there, Captain Ma'am."

"Fancy shmancy? Where did you get that phrase? And don't call me ma'am." She sipped from her mug once more.

"Probably Paris. Shouldn't you take it easy with that stuff, Captain Sir?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You're cruising, buster. And after a day like today, you should be happy I'm diluting the whiskey with coffee. Besides, if I'm not mistaken, that's not tea in your glass either."

He lifted his glass of wine in a salute. "Touché. Speaking of words, I've been contemplating the fundamental differences between collective and co-operative. Seems to me like a case of, you say 'tomayto' and I say 'tomahto'."

"Contemplating? Fundamental? Now who's getting fancy shmancy?" She wiggled her feet, and he used his free hand to massage one ankle. "Although I do agree with you. A rose by any other name-"

"Would still have thorns," Chakotay completed her sentence. "I can't help wondering just how long before their high and mighty ideals dissolve in the face of all that power."

"That's one of the reasons I'm glad that the cloaking device was destroyed on the shuttle."

He looked at her surprised. "Really? I would have thought you'd be disappointed. Think how much it could have helped us considering the infinite number of hostile aliens we seem to encounter out here."

She stared into her mug for a moment before replying. "Yes, it could. But to use it, we would be knowingly violating the Federation's law against the use of cloaking devices."

"Kathryn, it's not the Alpha Quadrant."

She glanced at him sharply. "That's exactly what Riley said to me. Chakotay, if we start compromising because the rules don't suit us, where will we wind up? Like that co-operative? The end justifies the means? And yet, when faced with the survival of all the people you've sworn to protect…" Shaking her head, she looked back into her mug. "That's why I'm glad the cloaking device was destroyed."

Chakotay set aside his glass, concentrating both hands on her bare ankles and calves. "Then what about us? Aren't we breaking rules too?"

"The regulation doesn't prohibit relationships, only the coercion of a senior officer over a subordinate. I'm not coercing you, am I, Commander?" She flexed the toes of one foot against his crotch.

He moved her foot slightly. "Behave, or I'll call you 'ma'am' again. Drink up your hooch; it's getting late."

Kathryn's eyebrows lifted indignantly. "Hooch? I'll have you know that coffee and Irish whiskey are two of the three finest things in life."

"What's the third?" His questing fingers had reached the back of her knees.

She pulled her feet from his lap and leaned over to kiss him. "Let's go to bed, Chakotay."

The End

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