Rated J/C; NC-17 for adult situations and language
Disclaimer: No Voyager characters were harmed in any way by my writing this story. They still belong to someone else.
Summary: Chakotay helps pull Kathryn from the depths of depression…I wrote this for the Secret Santa exchange of 2006.
Many thanks to Shayenne for the beta.
Note: I felt cheated by the episode 'Night.' I would have liked to see how KJ's dive into depression played out without the help of intruding plot. So, for the sake of my story, Kathryn's fall into the 'void' is allowed to progress without the help from a species that needs saving. Pity the thought…
Chakotay entered her quarters to give his daily 'report'. Funny how he thought of it as such, since she seemed not in the least bit interested in ship's business. It did, however, allow him the excuse to check up on her. And he knew she was sinking into her own personal 'void', despite his daily invitations and attempts to lure her from her rooms.
And her appearance disturbed him, as well. At first, she'd worn her uniform slacks and the turtleneck, complete with pips, and made a weak effort at least to comb her hair. But those days had long passed. She now wore a simple T-shirt and gray sweatpants. Recognizing the familiar pattern of the coffee stain on the front of the shirt, he realized that it had been days since she'd changed. Her hair was a bit wild, having not seen a brush or shampoo for some time and her usually neat, understated makeup hadn't been applied for days. Chakotay felt dizzy from watching her spin out of control, deeper into the eddy of her depression.
Oh, he knew that the source of it came from the fact that she finally had the time to reflect, but the knowledge didn't help him to break the spell of her own self-flagellation. On the contrary, it made things much more difficult for him. The more he tried to make her feel better, the harder she pushed him away.
Chakotay was nothing if not a patient man. At first, he thought he could merely wait her out, tapping his foot, hoping that she would eventually snap out of it. As days became weeks, he began to doubt this tactic. Kathryn was in a downward spiral almost before he realized it.
"Kathryn. You need to get out of your quarters and you need a decent meal. Get yourself cleaned up and we'll go to the mess hall for dinner. It'll do the crew good to see you out and about." He hadn't quite issued her an order, but he'd left out room for a refusal.
She continued facing the blackness, but her reply held an edge. "Neelix will send up a tray."
"Which you won't eat."
"I'm fine, Commander. I'm sure you're able to handle anything that comes up. But I wish to be left alone."
"As your first officer, it's my duty to see to the captain's well-being. And as acting captain, it's my duty to see that everyone is pulling his own weight. You're not pulling yours, Kathryn."
She finally turned to face him, her eyes slits of anger. "Acting captain? I don't remember turning over my ship to you."
"You might as well. It's not like you're captaining her…"
"Get out of my quarters, Chakotay." She turned back to face the darkness.
He'd wanted to get a rise out of her. Anything would be better than a non-reaction, wouldn't it? So why didn't he feel better about this afternoon's exchange? She only allowed visits from himself and Tuvok. If this bit of a push from him caused her to shut him out, who'd be there to catch her if she fell? Finally, Tuvok suggested action of a more direct approach.
They'd spoken of Kathryn's withdrawal on several occasions and both had made a pact of sorts to keep the other abreast of her condition. Guilt stabbed at Chakotay for letting it get as far as it had without further consultation.
"Come."
Tuvok stood at parade rest. No chance in getting him to sit down. "Can I get you a tea?"
"No, thank you. I'm here to speak to you about Captain Janeway. I'm concerned about her ability to command this ship."
Nothing like a Vulcan to come right to the point. "So am I, Tuvok." Did he think this was news?
"I have just come from the Captain's quarters. It has been six days since I visited her last. Her condition is deteriorating. Mr. Neelix leaves her a tray of food each meal which she does not consume and she has only replicated coffee from her quarters."
Chakotay knew all of this. He'd already done his own checking.
"And her personal…hygiene is… lacking."
Ah. He'd noticed. Of course he'd notice that. Chakotay walked over to the viewport and looked out into the blackness. "I'm aware she's suffering, but I don't know what to do about it. I'd like to get the doctor to prescribe something, but I'm afraid we'd be backing ourselves into a corner." That was putting it mildly. "You realize that if the doctor prescribed psycho-therapeutic drugs for the Captain, that he would also remove her from command." "I know that, Tuvok. That's what's kept me from going to him. I think the drugs could help her, but without a counselor on board, there wouldn't be an easy way to get her reinstated. Even in this…inactive sector, we never know when we might need her."
"I concur. It is standard Starfleet protocol to return command to an officer only after extensive therapy has determined she is mentally fit. Since we lack a counselor, the return of Captain Janeway's command would be problematic."
"I think it would do her more harm than good to take away her command. I know she's not using it in any way, but at least she hasn't formally turned over command to me. That's got to mean that she's not that far…gone."
"I do not believe that it is in the Captain's best interest to remove her from command, but I believe that it is necessary at this time to take action."
This should be good. He turned around to face the Vulcan. "What do you have in mind?"
"I was hoping that you would have a plan."
"And here I thought you might have some sort of logical plan that we could implement." Chakotay scrubbed at his face with the palms of his hands.
"How do you get someone out of a depressed state, Tuvok? She needs physical activity, which she isn't getting. And shy of beaming her to the holodeck and having a pack of tigers chase her with the safety protocols off, I don't know how to force her to exercise. And she needs food. Force-feeding her isn't an option…yet. And, yes, she needs a shower…"
Something tickled his memory at the last thought. Hadn't Kathryn suffered from depression before? He distinctly remembered her telling him about Phoebe and how she helped her to snap out of her self-pity and move on after her father and Justin's deaths. He and Kathryn had a long discussion about this time in her life…her roughest point…and how she'd been helped to climb out of the darkness.
"I have an idea, Tuvok, but I'm going to need your cooperation."
"Commander?"
"And you're going to have to trust me to do this my way. Can you do that?"
"I do not see that we have anything to lose at this point."
Tuvok's level stare at him held a challenge."Are you certain that your plan will bring the Captain out of her quarters?"
"No, but I can't think of a better way to do this. It might work. And as you say, we've nothing to lose." But he knew there was much to be lost in this plan if it didn't work out how he hoped. He might very well lose her friendship for good, but he could see no other way.
This evening when he entered her quarters, the lights were low and she lay propped on the sofa staring out at the blackness that surrounded them. No PADD could be seen near her, so "catching up on her reading" wasn't even an excuse tonight.
On the coffee table in front of her were at least a half-dozen empty mugs which had held her coffee. There were things strewn about haphazardly as the normal neatness of her quarters had given way to the chaos of her emotions.
And the smell. Thanks to Tuvok, he now recognized the faint female body odor floating in the room. To Chakotay, it was far from unpleasant. He'd always been profoundly aware of Kathryn's scent, searching for it by standing a bit closer to her in the 'lifts than was perfectly proper. After games and workouts on the holodeck, he'd lean into her so that he could experience the flavor of her sweat in the ride back to their quarters. Now, in the closeness of her rooms, the scent found him for a change, stronger than ever, it wafted into his nostrils, tingling his own memories of their close quarters from years ago.
She didn't seem to notice that he'd entered, although she must have known he was standing there.
"Kathryn." The stillness of the room sucked up the sound of his voice.
"It's hard to believe that we have another…What is it, two years?…of this." She spoke not to him, but to the black viewport.
"Tuvok visited you today."
She turned, regarding his expression. "Ah…Now you're both concerned about me. I wondered why you were back so soon."
"He was concerned about you as I am, Kathryn. You're wallowing in self-pity and it's affecting the crew."
"The crew will understand. I'm sure they have their own demons as well."
"That's exactly why this is a bad time for you to shut yourself off to them."
Kathryn sighed. "What's your point, Chakotay, or do you have one? Are you just here to remind me that I'm failing as the captain of this ship?"
"Look at yourself, Kathryn. You haven't even changed your clothes in days. You need help and I'm willing to give it to you." "Help? Yes…I need help. I need help getting this crew back to their families. If it hadn't been for my poor choices-"
"Stop." He cut her off mid-sentence. "We've been over this. You made the decisions you had to make and you saved an innocent people by doing so. That's not the problem. Your problem is depression."
Her haunted eyes glistened in the half-light of the room. Maybe he was getting through.
"You need a shower."
The anger in her tone surprised him. "My personal hygiene is of no concern of yours. I'll take a damn shower when I feel like it!"
"Look at that coffee stain on your shirt. I doubt you've changed in days."
She looked dumbly down at the T and back up at Chakotay. Sitting up slightly, she gathered the hem, pulled it over her head in one swift motion, and tossed it at him.
He reflexively caught the shirt as it hit him in the face. Her scent surrounded him and he filled his lungs in spite of himself. Clad only in a tank, Kathryn glared at him and lay back down, facing the back of the sofa.
Steeling his own voice, he spoke low in anger. "You have one hour to get washed up and dressed. I'll be back to escort you to the mess hall in precisely 60 minutes. If you're not showered and changed at that time, I'll do it myself."
He heard her snort as he turned on his heel and left her quarters.
His ire was up. He'd made the threat and now he had to deal with the consequences. Chakotay hoped that she'd rise to the occasion and shake off the fog of her mood enough to make a showing for the crew. And he hoped to hell she wouldn't call his bluff. The last thing he wanted to do was manhandle her with this cloud floating over her. No telling how badly that would go.
He had to blow off some steam while he waited for the hour to be up, so he headed for the holodeck at an uncomfortable clip. Some boxing would fit the bill right about now. However, when he reached his destination, he saw that both decks were already running. Entering deck one, he decided that Sandrine's would at least give him the opportunity for a drink or three. What a damned coward.
Quite a few of the crew mingled around the pool tables. The holodecks were getting a workout in the void. There wasn't much for anyone to do, so recreation became so much more important. Chakotay took a seat at the bar, by himself, and ordered a stiff ale of the real stuff. Hell, synthehol wouldn't do a thing for him with his adrenaline running as high as it was. He needed the real thing to soothe his nerves.
As soon as Sandrine put the icy mug in front of him, Chakotay lifted it and downed more than half the quantity in one smooth swill. He felt better already. Another one of these and he'd be ready to take on a pack of wolves. The thought made him chuckle to himself. Hell, he'd much rather take on a pack of just about anything than a single angry Janeway. He had so much to lose. She needed him now more than ever and if this didn't go well, she'd shut him out completely. But he had to take the chance. Keeping the status quo wasn't working too well, either.
Chakotay swigged the rest of his drink and ordered another one. Checking his chronometer, he saw that he had 45 minutes left to wait.
Tom Paris plopped onto the stool next to him. Just who he didn't want to speak to.
"You expecting someone?"
"No. Just killing a little time, Paris."
"Hey, Sandrine. Give me one of whatever he's having."
She set the foaming mug in front of him and sauntered back to the other side of the bar. Tom picked it up and took a swallow, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "The real stuff, huh? Must have been a bad day staring at all that nothingness…"
Chakotay hoped that if he stayed silent, Tom would get the hint and find someone else to bother. But Tom settled into his seat and stared ahead at the same point in space that fascinated Chakotay.
"How is she?"
"How's who?"
"Don't give me that. We know who I'm talking about. Our cloistered captain, that's who. Any change?"
Chakotay looked at Tom. He expected to see a teasing grin, but what he saw surprised him. Pity…concern… Chakotay held the look for a moment, judging Tom's curiosity. Tom didn't blink, but as the gaze lengthened, the blue eyes clouded with pain. "About the same. But I'm hoping I can get her to come out of her rooms this evening." Chakotay reflexively glanced at his watch again.
"You gave her some kind of an ultimatum?"
"Something like that…"
Tom broke the look, reaching to take a swallow of his ale. "She a tough one. I guess that explains the liquid backbone, huh?" He lifted his drink to Chakotay and took another swallow.
Chakotay made a sound in the back of his throat-something between a groan and a chuckle. "That's a pretty fair assessment…"
Tom circled his mug on the bar spreading the condensation into a larger ring. "You know, if you need me to help with that…I'm not saying I'd be happy to, but it might come a little easier from me."
"How do you mean?"
"Well, the way I figure it is she's gonna need a friend. And she's gonna need a counselor, right?" Tom looked up from his water-spreading. "I'm just saying it might be easier to let me be the heavy so you can be around to help her through. I could go in and drag her out for a game of pool, you know? Piss her off, I know, but I think I could do it with a little humor, make it all a joke, not take no for an answer and all that. It'd be a start…"
It wasn't a bad idea, and it might have worked a few weeks ago, but now… Tom didn't know how bad it'd gotten. Tom didn't know that she sat around in her bed clothes, didn't comb her hair and reeked.
"I appreciate it, Tom, but this is something I have to do."
"Why you?"
"It's my place…"
"You mean as her first officer?"
"No…As her closest friend. And you're right…She's going to need friends through all of this."
"She's got one, here, Chakotay…You know that don't you? And you, too, while you're at it."
"Thanks."
"So…What's your plan?"
Chakotay picked up his glass and contemplated how much he should tell Tom. On matters of the captain, Tom's word was worth gold. His respect for her far outweighed any desire he had to dish dirt to the crew. Chakotay looked squarely into Tom's face. "I'm issuing the orders tonight. I'm not accepting any more of her excuses. And if I have to get rough with her, well then, it could get pretty ugly."
Tom looked back down at his beer. "I don't envy you, man… She can be...Hell, I can't even think of word good enough. Intimidating doesn't seem to cover it, does it?" He looked back up and saw that Chakotay was turning a little green around the gills. "Do you have Tuvok's support?"
"Yes. He's the one who's insisting something be done. But he's right… Things have gone too far." Chakotay couldn't believe he was sharing so much with Tom Paris. But he sorely needed to share some of this with a man who came close to understanding his emotions about the whole thing.
"If I were you, I'd get together with Tuvok and remove her command codes before I went in there." They both watched intently as the bubbles in their beer rose to the surface and exploded, one after the other, each man imagining the looming scene.
"We'll make sure there's no room for refusal."
"Too bad the doc can't just prescribe something. Sometimes Starfleet medical protocols are impossible. It's not like we have access to some great counselor." Paris looked up. "Present company, excluded. But you don't have the letters after your name."
So Tom understood the neat little sandwich between the rock and the hard place.
"I suppose we could lace her coffee with mood elevators, but without some sort of desire on her part to drag herself out of this, I'm not sure the meds would do much good. And it takes some pretty careful monitoring by a real doctor to prescribe that stuff." He narrowed his eyes. "Have you thought about getting B'Elanna to monkey around with the doc's protocols a bit?"
"I hope it won't come to that." Chakotay finished off the rest of his ale in a few hefty gulps. "Give me a chance to get her back on her feet and if this doesn't work, we'll consider something else." ~ ^ ~
Chakotay keyed in his override without ringing the chime. The two ales had left him feeling a bit reckless about the situation. He knew he was headed for trouble and didn't want to delay the confrontation. Calling for lights, he saw that Kathryn's usual place on the sofa was empty, and except for the lights he'd summoned, the rooms sat in blackness.
"Kathryn?" Not that he thought she'd answer. Chakotay walked into her bedroom. "Computer: lights at 20 percent." Just as he'd thought. Kathryn Janeway was playing possum. He could see the outline of her body under the bedspread.
"Kathryn. I'm here to take you to dinner."
No answer. The lump on the bed didn't even flinch.
"Kathryn. Get out of that bed." He heard an edge creep into his voice. "I know you're not sleeping. Now, get up!" He jiggled her foot with his hand.
A groggy voice suggested that she might have truly been sleeping. "If you enter my quarters again without invitation, I'll bring the matter to security. Now, go away… I'm turning in early tonight."
"No, you're not. We're going to the messhall for dinner together."
"You're getting out of my bedroom."
"You're getting out of that bed. Now. Or I'm dragging you into the shower myself."
He could barely hear her mumbled refusal.
"What's that?"
"You don't have the balls!" He heard that.
Chakotay whipped the coverlet off of her before she had a chance to grab at it.
"What the--?" Kathryn sat up, fury in her eyes. "Get the hell out of my quarters!"
"I will, but I'm bringing you with me, and you need a shower first." He stood at the side of her bed glaring down at her. She was dressed only in the tank she'd worn earlier and a pair of gray panties. "Now are you going to shower yourself, or am I going to have to do it?"
"Out! Now!" Kathryn pointed at the door. "I don't take orders from you, Commander!"
"Tonight, you do." Swiftly, he scooped her up and tossed her over his shoulder before she had a chance to protest.
Beating at his back, Kathryn cursed and threatened him as he made his way to the bathroom. Her depression left her weak, or he'd have been doubled over by now for certain.
Once inside the tiny room, Chakotay set her down. "Computer. Seal the door, authorization Chakotay omega six."
"Computer, belay that order."
"Unable to comply."
"Your command codes have been removed, Kathryn."
"You can't do that…"
"I can, and I have. Tuvok and I thought it was best not to involve the doctor at this point. Now back to your shower."
"Fuck. You."
"I've already indulged that fantasy. And believe me when I say that if I thought I could bring you out of this pain by doing so, I wouldn't need your invitation. But unfortunately, I think you're too far gone for that. And you stink. Get in the shower."
The blue flame burning in her eyes threatened to catch him on fire. Her fists moved to her hips in familiar defiance. "No."
Shit. Here goes nothing, old man. Chakotay leveled his own glare at her and unzipped his jacket, removed it and draped it over the closed toilet seat. He broke eye contact long enough to pull his turtleneck over his head.
Kathryn's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "And just what do you think you're doing?"
"I just recycled this uniform. And I'll be damned if I'm going to eat in the mess hall dripping wet." He unbuttoned his pants, pausing at the zipper. "Do I need to continue or can you manage this by yourself?"
She must have read his hesitation for the stall in courage that it was. Kathryn jacked her chin up even higher. "I shower when I decide to. I'm going back to bed." Once again she tried the door, to no avail.
Chakotay stooped and pulled off his boots and then socks. As he unzipped his pants and stepped out of them, he saw Kathryn's glare. He folded them neatly and placed them on top of the pile of clothes on the toilet. Wearing only gray briefs, Chakotay sized up his opponent.
The short tank rode up to her waist exposing inches of midriff over the bikini underwear. Hip bones jutted under the white skin, a testament to her lack of food over the past weeks. Under the soft, clinging fabric of the tank, the lines of her ribs told the same story. The lushness of her breasts stood in contrast to the stark lines of her protruding skeletal frame. And God help him, she was breathtaking.
"Initiate shower, setting-hot." Water immediately pulsed from the ceiling in the corner and filled the room with opaque steam, softening the glare of the lights and the edges of his vision. Perhaps if he could do this without looking at her, it might be easier, but as his hands closed over the silky skin of her upper arms, Chakotay knew he'd need to shut off all of his senses to get through this. Still warm from the covers of her bed, her shoulders sagged under his hands. Fastening his eyes to hers, he backed her into the spray until the water ran in rivulets through her hair and his.
Kathryn remained still, only moving enough to stay on her feet as he steered her. Perhaps she'd accepted this chain of events and decided that she was too weak to fight him. Or maybe she planned to wait for him to relax and strike out then. Either way, the tension between them hung in the air as thick as the steam.
Chakotay backed himself to the wall, better to defend himself from her if need be. Then he turned her away from him, relieved to finally break the angry glare under which she held him. With one hand firmly on her shoulder, he reached for the dispenser on the wall and depressed a palm full of liquid soap into his hand.
Rigid under his grasp, she held still while he massaged the soap into her crown with one hand and finally both, beginning to trust her passivity. As he rubbed the soap throughout the thick and matted hair, he felt her softening under his touch. Slowly, her head tilted back until the water hit her full on the face, rinsing the soap from her eyes and running back through his hands as they stroked her head and her hair. Chakotay combed his fingers deep into the strands, tracing patterns into her scalp. An almost inaudible sigh preceded her sob that made him jump slightly in response.
With his hands, he moved her hair around as the falling water rinsed the soap. When the water ran clear, he refilled his hand and massaged it into her shoulders, reaching under the tank to rub the soap across her back. Leaning her head forward, Kathryn let him cleanse her skin and seemed to enjoy the soapy slide of his hands moving over her back.
Profoundly relieved that she'd stopped fighting, Chakotay began to experience a different type of anxiety. The sensation of Kathryn's skin under his hands and her pliant, welcoming body language frightened him more than her anger ever could. At this point, if she turned to him and offered herself, it'd be damn near impossible for him to turn her down. He'd recently read a gigabyte of information on depression and was aware that he slid around in dangerous territory, much as his hands slid down her back. He only hoped to find the strength to push her away if it came to that.
As if Kathryn could read his fears through his touch, she reached for the bottom of her soaking tank and pulled it over her head, arching her back in invitation for him to continue.
"Kathryn." He had to clear his throat to get any more sound out of it. "Maybe you'd better do the rest yourself." Stilling his hands, he angled his head so that he could read her face.
"No. You wanted this done, now do it."
A challenge or an invitation? But whatever her intentions, there was no mistaking the anger in her voice that cut the damp air with its edge. It settled Chakotay enough that he trusted finishing the job he started. Might as well get this over with and get her to the mess hall among people. That was the reason behind all of this, wasn't it? He found it increasingly difficult to concentrate.
Kathryn lifted her arms as he soaped her belly and her armpits, a bit too thoroughly. It didn't seem wrong for her to enjoy it. She'd been through hell for weeks. Maybe a caring touch was all she needed to help her step out of the self-imposed prison she'd created. Rubbing the soap across her chest, he moved briskly over her nipples, the hard little knots of flesh catching on the grooves between his fingers. He felt himself throb in answer. Shit.
Past her nipples, he soaped under the lower curve of her breasts, slightly cupping them before moving back down to the relative safety of her of stomach. Skipping that conundrum altogether, he refilled his hands with soap and squatted behind her, his face practically rubbing against her ass. Better than being in front of her, but not by much. His fingers slipped against the white skin of her thighs and then down her muscled calves. Chakotay picked up a foot and soaped between her toes, the ball and heel of her foot and finished up with the ankle. After the other foot had been washed, he stood up behind her once again.
Resignedly, Kathryn hooked her fingers in her panties and pushed them down her legs, rising and finishing the task with a clean foot.
Chakotay's pulse thumped wildly in his ears as he watched her spread her legs. Frozen with the thought of what she expected, he decided to let her force his hand, so to speak.
She turned to him and when he saw the fury in her eyes, it all became clear. Kathryn Janeway was punishing him.
"You wanted this done, now finish it!"
She knew how he felt about her and now that her intentions were clear, Chakotay felt the anger boil in his own blood along with the lust. How dare she use his emotions this way!
With a snap of his wrist, he filled his palm with soap and slid his fingers between her thighs, rubbing with purpose. Their eyes locked in challenge as they faced each other, Chakotay rubbing at her sex and reaching further back to clean the crease of her ass. His fingers combed through the silky hair and tender skin, pushing upwards slightly as he passed the rigid peak of her sex. For all her face gave away, she could have been dressing down an ensign. But as his thumb flicked over the tight little fist of nerves a second time, her eyelids fluttered for a fraction of a second.
He pulled his hand away and cupped water in it, rinsing her and repeating the action until he felt no more traces of the soap. Kathryn leaned into him, pressing her body the full length of his, feeling him solid and throbbing between them.
Nodding her head forward onto his chest, she sunk to her knees and buried her face into the wet cloth of his boxers. Thanks to her anger, this action took him completely by surprise. The cold of the shower wall prickled against his back as the heat of her face buried deeper into his groin. He tried to lift her, but she pressed too firmly against his knees for him stoop.
And almost before he knew what was happening, Kathryn freed his shaft of the wet boxers and lapped at the reddened head.
"This is why you're here, isn't it? This is all you've ever wanted from me…" And she pressed her face to the root of him, swallowing his erection in one, glorious, horrifying motion.
"Stop! Kathryn, damnit!" He pulled at her hair, pulling her off of him, a thin line of saliva connecting the tip to her lip.
"Too much for you, Chakotay? Or don't you like women?!"
As he held her face away from his body, Chakotay added humiliation to the emotions washing over her face. He knew from the beginning that this might get ugly, but he had no idea things would get this awful this quickly.
"You're not well, Kathryn. I'd be the worst friend ever if I took advantage of you like this. I care too much about you to let this happen." He slid down the shower wall and took her head between his hands.
Crumpling, she shook his hands from her face and jerked away from him, curling up against the opposite wall of the shower. "Leave me alone! Just…just get the fuck out of here!"
Chakotay sat still a moment, giving her some time before he spoke. His words were gentle and caressing. "No. I'm not leaving you. Ever… We're going to get you some help, but first we're going to get you dressed and something to eat."
Kathryn was sobbing in earnest now. "I can't! I don't know how it got this far! What the hell is wrong with me? I can't see the light at the end of the fucking two-year-long tunnel!"
He crept over to her, pulling her carefully into his lap. "But you will, sweetheart. You'll see it, and you'll see it soon. We'll get you some counseling if I have to have B'Elanna re-write the doctor's holomatrix."
He tucked the wet strands of her hair behind her ear and stroked the side of her cheek with his thumb. And they sat together, feeling the soothing heat of the water pour over them, one dear friend comforting another in her time of darkness. Chakotay's lust seeped down the drain as his body calmed, in spite of the beautiful woman he held naked in his arms.
At last he broke the silence, his voice lowered to a silky murmur. "And when you're all better… I'll let you suck anything of mine you want to, I absolutely promise you that."
Kathryn turned her face up to his, a bit of the old Kathryn shining through the tear-streaked face. "And what makes you think that once I'm all better that I'll want to do that?"
"Oh. I've got that part all worked out." He smiled at her crooked grin. "I'm going to dip him in coffee…"
A funny sound escaped her nose, something resembling a laugh.
"That's a sound I'm looking forward to hearing again, Kathryn…"
They rocked in quiet tandem a minute more before they rose together and dressed to face Voyager, the Delta Quadrant, and Neelix's cooking together. -End-
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