Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything. I get nothing from this.
Rated NC-17 for explicit sex.
The senior staff meeting was more serious. Janeway explained what they would attempt to do, minimizing her and Chakotay's role in the proceedings. She noticed B'Elanna look at her strangely though.
"Harry, you will have the bridge during the transfer."
Harry started, "Me, Captain? I would have thought Chakotay..."
"Tuvok has requested both mine and Chakotay's assistance with the mind meld and subsequent transfer. It is likely that we will be unable to come to the bridge. Tuvok must be our priority. In the absence of the three of us, you are the person I feel most comfortable having in the big chair." She smiled at him. "You can do it, Harry! You will have the moment of glory when we arrive in the Alpha Quadrant and the first direct contact with Starfleet."
Harry's chest puffed slightly. "Yes, Captain."
"B'Elanna, we don't expect there to be anything strange happening in engineering but you and Carey should be standing by just in case. Same goes for the helm. I don't think you'll have to steer Tom, but you should be there just in case. Seven, you will take Tuvok's position at tactical. We can't tell you exactly when this will happen, and there maybe no warning. The ship will go to yellow alert at 0300 tomorrow morning. Tuvok alone will determine exactly when this will happen. Any questions?"
She looked around the table, reading the guarded optimism in the faces. Tom and B'Elanna held hands. Harry looked nervous. Carey apprehensive. Only Seven looked unchanged.
They filed out. B'Elanna lingered.
"Captain, I feel uncomfortable mentioning this, but have you given any thought to how Tuvok's Pon Farr will affect you? When Vorik came into Pon Farr, well, let's just say it had far reaching repercussions on quite a few people."
"Thank you for your concern, B'Elanna, but Tuvok has assured me that his energies will be concentrated on trying to reach T'Pel. His outlet will not be me."
"That is not what I meant, Captain. But if you experience any transference of the fever, then you will ... let's just say you will not be yourself."
"I know what you are trying to say, B'Elanna, and thank you for warning me. But it is unnecessary. You can rest assured that Chakotay and I have the matter well in hand."
B'Elanna looked from one to the other of them, reading their faces. Then she grinned. "Well let's just say it's about time. Wait until I tell Tom!" And turning on her heel she left the room.
That night they slept in each other's arms in the captain's quarters. They made love once, but mostly just held each other close, skin to skin, enjoying their newfound closeness.
At 0500 they rose, dressed in loose clothing, and made their way to Tuvok's quarters hand in hand. Inside, the strain was evident on Tuvok's face. Beads of sweat clung to his brow in spite of the cool quarters. He was still dressed in the same meditation robe and did not appear to have moved since their last visit.
He did not waste time with preliminaries. They each affixed the neurotransceiver the Doctor had given them. Kathryn held one out to Tuvok.
"No, Captain. It is unnecessary. Vulcan physiology is radically altered during Pon Farr and the Doctor may interpret these normal readings as cause for concern and prematurely abort the procedure. I do not wish to wear one."
Kathryn studied him. "As you wish," she said.
"You and the commander must link hands. I will perform the meld with both of you first. This will join the two of you together. You will comprehend each other's thoughts, and for a brief moment, so will I. Then I will withdraw from the commander's mind and strengthen the link with the captain. When the link is strong, I will attempt to contact T'Pel. She is awaiting my call. Captain, you will share my bond with T'Pel, and what you may experience may disturb you, but I ask that you do not interfere, and in no way try and come between us. Use your grounding in the commander to remain apart from us as much as you can. Then, all being well, we will be in the Alpha Quadrant. At this point, I will separate myself from both of you, and will retire to my sleeping quarters to prepare myself for joining with T'Pel. At that time, you both will be undisturbed out here for you to resolve the captain's blood fever in the way that you deem best. Do both of you comprehend what you must do?"
They both nodded.
"Very well, we will commence."
Kathryn and Chakotay sat opposite one another on the couch, both of their hands tightly linked. Tuvok sat opposite them on a low stool. He placed a hand on each of their foreheads.
"My mind to your mind..." He spoke the traditional incantation.
Through a swirling haze of blurred vision, Kathryn entered Chakotay's mind. She saw herself, sitting opposite on the sofa, eyes closed. She felt the clasp of their hands through his fingers. Most of all, she felt the outpouring of love he was sending her, she felt his total commitment to her, to stand by her, to love her, for ever, whatever it might take, whatever it might cost him.
*
Chakotay felt Kathryn's touch in his mind, as his own extended to hers. He was humbled by the love she felt for him. Mixed in with love for him, were memories of the night before, holding him, touching him, how he had felt deep inside her.
*
Tuvok saw all of this before he gently began to distance himself. He was pleased that the bond between captain and commander was strong and true, it would make it that much easier for her.
He strengthened the link to the captain's mind. Traced the neural pathways that defined her thinking, drew upon her strength and mental capabilities and took them into himself.
She felt him doing this, and remained firm, letting him take what he would, explore whatever part of her mind he chose. Dimly, she felt Chakotay's unwavering support sustaining her.
Then in a blinding flash, T'Pel was there too. Kathryn felt her mate's… no, Tuvok's mate. She must remain apart. She remembered Tuvok's admonition to not interfere, but she felt herself being drawn into their bond. So different from a human bond, but so strong. Faintly she could feel the one that supported T'Pel, but he was irrelevant, as she must be to T'Pel.
She heard their minds weave patterns around the other, reestablishing their bond, letting their desire to physically be one build and grow to unbearable levels. She was panting, her body was on fire with the shared physical lust. She was Tuvok, wanting to dive deep into T'Pel's body. She was T'Pel wanting to be possessed to a level unheard of by humans. She could feel Chakotay there somewhere, but he was unaware of the Vulcans, he only could feel her lust, her need, her wanting.
The mental link grew in intensity, until she felt her head would come apart from the physical need. She struggled to remain distant, but the need to fall into the bond, fall into Tuvok's mind and body was overpowering. The only thing that sustained her, was the faint touch of Chakotay's mind, *her* love, and the knowledge that to Tuvok, she was nothing at this moment. His energies were reaching out, across eons, across light years to his mate.
There were voices in her head; she was panting, gripping Chakotay's hands so hard that she crushed the bones in his hands. He too was breathing heavily, concentrating on staying in Kathryn's head, feeling the lust she was feeling, the overwhelming need to be part of Tuvok and T'Pel's bond. He could feel her fighting to remain apart, and he concentrated on sending his love to her. He knew she could feel it and knew that it was the only thing grounding her here. Tuvok had not exaggerated when he talked of the blood fever. He could feel Kathryn aflame with sexual desire and the need to mate.
The bond changed again, Kathryn could see only blinding white light. The ringing in her ears and the tension and lust in her body robbed her of all reason. She couldn't stand it any longer. She tried to wrench her hands from Chakotay's, the only thing grounding her in the present, only his love stopping her from following her desires to Tuvok and T'Pel.
Voices in her head, the Vulcan bondmates voices, growing and clamoring, drowning out all sense of who and where she was. Then the next instant, her head exploded. Blinding white light flickered at the edge of her consciousness and she nearly passed out. Dimly she could feel Tuvok and T'Pel's minds winding around each other in ecstasy. The fingers at the edge of her mind must be Chakotay, but she slumped in his grasp, mind spinning away from her, into the cosmos of the Alpha Quadrant. As she lost consciousness, she felt Tuvok withdraw from her mind, felt unbelievable pain coming from him as he withdrew. Then she was bathed in Chakotay's mind, love, reassurance and support pouring off him in waves, as he caught her physical body and lowered her to the couch on which she lay.
*
She returned to awareness, the blood fever was in her, Tuvok and T'Pel were gone, all that was present in her mind was Chakotay. Pupils dilated, she pulled his head down to her own, and her tongue crashed into his mouth. Ripping feverishly at his loose robe, she freed his penis, hard and erect. He knew what she was experiencing, their minds were still linked, and he pulled up her robe and plunged into her, deep in one thrust. He plunged into her again, and again, crying her name as she responded, clutching him close to her, hands on his buttocks, urging him faster and faster, until she came with a shout, her inner muscles clenching around him. Her orgasm went on and on, each peak was followed by another, and another, until she felt her whole body was centered in her clitoris, on her inner muscles clenching down on Chakotay's penis as she milked his seed out of him.
Inevitably, he couldn't last, and he slipped out of her, but the fever still raged in her, as she writhed underneath him. Using his fingers and then his mouth, he brought her to another peak, and another, while she sighed and moaned and called his name, running her hands over his body, shouting her love for him. He was hard again and she swung herself on top of him, riding him hard, slamming her hips into his, screaming his name, her hands clenched in his hair.
He spurted deep into her a second time, and she felt the urgency begin to leave her. Her body relaxed slightly, hot and sloppy wet around his penis, his seed running out of her to pool on his groin, matting his pubic hairs with hers.
She collapsed on top of him. With the urgency of Pon Farr abating in her, her mind began to slip from his. She sensed it, and tried one last time, letting him know how much she loved him. She lay down beside him, he ran his hands over her body, dipping between her legs, spreading their combined juices all over her thighs, dipping fingers deep inside her, she was so wet. She moved down his groin and took him in her mouth, tasting herself on him, sucking him back to hardness as his fingers tangled in her hair. He forced her mouth down hard over him. Unbelievably he was rigid again, and he rolled her over onto her back and drove himself into her, lying there on Tuvok's couch. He moved slowly in her, and she peaked, again and again, as his penis rubbed and insinuated into her, pounding deep into her womb, before he came again, deep inside her.
They lay together, tiredness overwhelming them, mentally and physically with the enormity of what they had shared. Whether it was an hour or six, they didn't know. Where Tuvok was, they didn't know. What quadrant they were in they didn't know and didn't care. With him still embedded deep within her, they slept.
Eventually they stirred.
"Janeway to Kim."
"Kim here." Harry's voice, exultant.
"Where are we, Harry?"
"We made it. We're in the Alpha Quadrant, only twenty light years from Vulcan. Captain, there are several people here on the viewscreen that wish to talk to you. Shall I patch through a visual to Tuvok's quarters?"
"No," she said it more sharply then she intended. But she certainly didn't want Starfleet's finest to see her naked, disheveled and tangled up with her first officer on her security chief's couch. "The commander and I will be there shortly. We just need to check on Tuvok."
Quickly they dressed then paused at the entrance to Tuvok's sleeping quarters.
"I don't know if we should interrupt," said Chakotay. "He left us alone."
"We need to know he is all right though," said Kathryn. "I felt his pain, and intense mental strain."
"Computer, location of Lieutenant Commander Tuvok?"
"Lieutenant Commander Tuvok is in his sleeping quarters."
"Status?"
"No life signs."
"What?"
She burst into his bedroom, Chakotay on her heels. Tuvok lay on the bed, a peaceful expression on his face. She lifted him into her arms. "Emergency site to site medical transport to sick bay."
They disappeared in the shimmering beam of the transporter. Chakotay took off at a run for sickbay.
He arrived to find the Doctor busy with hyposprays and tricorders. Kathryn clasped Tuvok's hand, tears in her eyes. Chakotay went over to her, and she stood and walked into his embrace.
"He's been dead for over three hours," she whispered. "Since the moment of transfer to the Alpha Quadrant. The Doctor is trying, but he doesn't hold much hope. The Pon Farr has altered his normal physiology immensely. Normal treatment is not working." She buried her head against his chest and started to cry in earnest. Tears ran down his cheeks too into her hair. They rocked together and didn't see the Doctor pull a sheet over Tuvok's head.
"Captain, Commander, I must know what happened. I also must assess you both to ensure you have no after effects."
He started to run a tricorder over both of them.
"Please move apart, I cannot get proper readings."
Kathryn moved even closer to Chakotay, tears streaming down her face. Chakotay lifted his wet face to the Doctor.
"Doctor, one of our dearest friends has just died. I don't think now is an appropriate time for your readings." He dropped his face down to bury it in Kathryn's hair again.
She moved out of his arms and over to Tuvok's biobed. Pulling the sheet down from him, she rested her face on his chest and sobbed. "It's my fault, all my fault. I felt his pain at the moment of transfer. It's my fault for not being strong enough to take the meld."
Chakotay stood helplessly behind her, all he could do was put a hand on her shoulder to let her know he was there.
She stood. "We must contact T'Pel."
Taking his hand, they left sickbay for her quarters.
Inside the door, they stood in each other's arms, crying again. Then they moved to the shower. She cried again in the shower as it washed away the evidence of their passion, instigated by Tuvok.
Eventually she stopped, and held him. Sobs faded to hiccups, and then to tremors, and then she was still.
"We have to get to the bridge."
They dressed in uniforms and made their way to the bridge.
Everyone they met in the corridors was laughing, grinning, slapping them on the back, congratulating them. People were embracing and crying with joy at being home. Word had spread quickly. No one noticed the somber faces of the command team.
The bridge was slightly quieter, although there was a distinct festive air. Tom was bouncing at the helm. Even Seven looked less bored then normal. Only Harry looked tense, although that may have been due to the Starfleet admirals he was talking to on the viewscreen. They could hear him attempting to explain, for obviously the umpteenth time, exactly why there were no senior members of staff available right now.
"Its okay, Harry," said Janeway. "I'll take over now."
She stepped in front of the screen. "Admiral, I'm Captain Janeway. I am sorry I was not available to talk to you earlier, but the rather unconventional method of our transfer rendered it impossible."
"Captain. It is good to see you. We need to make arrangements for me to come aboard as soon as possible to discuss arrangements for your return to earth."
"Admiral, there is something I have to do first. Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, although the instigator, did not survive the transfer to the Alpha Quadrant. I wish to speak to his widow, T'Pel first."
There was a gasp behind her. Harry. She dare not look around, or she would start crying again. She could see Tom at the helm, silent tears running down his cheeks.
"Captain, I think it could wait until after the official welcome home," said the Admiral.
"No," said Janeway, a catch in her voice as she witnessed the grief of the bridge crew. "It cannot. Janeway out."
"Tom, set a course for Vulcan, warp 6."
She crossed to her chair and sat down next to Chakotay and reached for his hand.
"Harry, open a shipwide comm link."
Harry did so.
"All hands this is the captain speaking. By now, most of you have realized that we are back in the Alpha Quadrant. The transfer was made possible by Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, who used his mental link with his mate to draw the ship back. Tuvok did not survive the transfer. We are on our way to Vulcan now, to meet with his mate, T'Pel. I am sure that in the circumstances there is no-one on board who would begrudge us an extra few days before returning to Earth." She paused, before continuing with a shake in her voice. "On a personal note, I have lost a very dear friend as well as an excellent officer. He alone deserves the credit for Voyager's safe return and he will be hailed as a hero. I ask that you all remember him kindly tonight. Janeway out."
She answered the door to them. She was unchanged since Janeway had last seen her eight years prior. Her dark eyes were serene, her skin unlined.
"Kathryn." She held out her hands to Kathryn, who took them and was immediately drawn into a tight, but brief embrace.
Kathryn had tears in her eyes when they separated. "T'Pel, this is my first officer, Chakotay."
T'Pel turned and studied him intently. "Chakotay. I know of you through the meld with Tuvok. I have touched your mind. You are worthy of her, and you love her truly."
Chakotay inclined his head. "Thank you T'Pel."
T'Pel led the way inside. "Come. Sit. You would like refreshment?"
"Thank you," answered Kathryn, "but we need to talk. We need to understand, we need to know what happened there, why Tuvok died." Her voice caught on the last word.
T'Pel reached a hand out to her in comfort. Odd, that she should be the one doing the comforting. "Kathryn, first of all you must not blame yourself in anyway at all. What happened could not have been prevented, and it was Tuvok's wish that we continue with the meld, even though he knew it almost certainly put him in terrible danger."
"He knew?" said Chakotay. "He assured us that it was safe, that you or he would pull out before anything like this could happen."
"The mental activity was too intense. Tuvok was bearing the brunt of the strain, as his was the primary mind moving the ship. He drew deeply on your mind, Kathryn, as well as mine and the masters, but so much power was never meant to be contained in one mind. When he felt the moment of transfer, he knew what was happening, he knew it would be his death, but he refused to let me sever the link. He severed his mind from yours, Kathryn, so that you and the commander would not be harmed, and he knew that the master would sustain me, so he alone took the mental explosion. That is what caused his death."
"I felt it," whispered Kathryn. "I felt an instant of overwhelming pain, then his mind went from mine, he left me with Chakotay and the blood fever in my veins." She paused. "Had I been stronger, I could have supported him more, could have absorbed some of the power..."
"NO." T'Pel's voice was firm and insistent. "I said you must not blame yourself. Most humans could not have endured a fraction of what you did. You only survived because of Chakotay's support. Tuvok spoke truly when he said you were bondmates. I felt you, Kathryn; I knew what you were experiencing. I knew that you were feeling our Pon Farr and that the urge to participate was immense. I know what it cost you to hold back. You made this possible as much as he. You supported Tuvok; he was comforted by your presence. You meant a lot to him, and I know he would not have had this any other way."
"If he had pulled out of the meld," said Kathryn, "we would not have ended up in the Alpha Quadrant, but we would have been many, many light-years closer. Why did he not pull out before it was too late?"
"You forget the Pon Farr," replied T'Pel. "With it unresolved he would surely have died anyway. Being halfway home would be no better than being 30,000 light-years away. And, this way, he and I had communication. We were able to resolve our Pon Farr. We achieved satisfaction. That was made possible for us, which it would never have been otherwise. I carry his soul within me now, so hear me when I say it was the only way this could have worked out. Truly, Kathryn, you carry no blame. I give you my thanks."
She bowed her head briefly then extended her hand in the traditional Vulcan gestures. "Live long and prosper."
Tuvok's memorial was held on Voyager following his stated wishes and T'Pels. It was attended by all the crew, and visiting Starfleet Admirals. T'Pel was there, with her and Tuvok's children and grandchildren.
Starfleet pageantry was blended with the traditional sparse Vulcan memorial. Kathryn gave the eulogy, a simple poignant speech, and one by one the crew filed passed the torpedo casing, paying their final respects to their friend and colleague. One who had made the ultimate sacrifice to get them home.
Most people were dry-eyed; feeling an excess of emotion was inappropriate for their controlled friend. The exception was Neelix, who was inconsolable and had to be restrained by B'Elanna from throwing himself over the coffin.
The mess hall gathering was a somber one. But underneath the sad occasion, was a bubbling shipwide joy that they were home. Many a watchful eye noticed how the command team did not let go of each other's hands, and how Chakotay's arm was often protectively wrapped around her shoulders. Even though rations were officially a thing of the past, many replicator rations changed hands later that night, as part of the quiet celebration that things were as they should be, and that the Command Team, as well as Voyager, had finally come home.
Feedback? Please do. Shayenne
I have to say it, I don't want ANY of them to die. (But I might be persuaded to negotiate on Seven). But the rumors going around from TPTB and various UPN ads meant that I had to write something that was vaguely the way I wanted it. Sorry Tuvok.