Disclaimer: Paramounts. Sigh. Not mine. Pity.
Rated R
Maybe it was the two bottles of wine they had consumed that made them more daring. Maybe it was the brilliant weave of color filtering through the viewport from the nebula they were passing through that made them more flirtatious and romantically inclined than normal. Maybe they both, finally, just needed an excuse. Whatever the reason, the gauntlet was thrown down and an audacious bet was made between the Captain and Commander of the starship Voyager.
"We should put this in writing." Kathryn sat on the couch, her body inclined towards Chakotay, her knee bumping his thigh.
"Fine with me." Chakotay pressed his leg back against hers, subtly daring her to move away.
She shifted so that her thigh was aligned with his, increased the pressure and produced a padd from underneath the couch cushion. She started entering data.
Chakotay watched her, in particular the smooth red wing of hair dropping down over her face, and the slim white fingers capably working on the padd. His body tingled at the thought of the bet, the dare, they were making. She passed the padd over to him. He read it through, added a condition of his own and passed it back to her.
She grinned at him. "Naughty! I accept. We'll start tomorrow. Thirty minutes of holodeck time each night for the next five days. You will enter with the scenario already running and activate character Janeway. The character will activate in the next room and walk in to where you are. You have thirty minutes to interact with the character. One night, unbeknownst to you, I will take the place of the character in the scenario. At the end of the week, you will tell me which night was the real me and not a hologram."
"Agreed." Chakotay watched her closely. "And casual contact and touching is allowed?"
"Nothing inappropriate, Commander." The pressure of her leg against his, slowly rubbing up and down made him wonder just what was deemed 'inappropriate'. He still couldn't believe she was going along with this and was actually encouraging him with wicked sideways glances and longer than usual brushes of her hand.
He leaned closer to her; his breath feathered over her cheek and he watched her skin shiver with his proximity. "Is.. a kiss... appropriate?" He could hardly believe he was saying this. Bemusedly he wondered whether his intoxication was from the wine or from her closeness.
She turned her head and her lips were near, slightly parted. Her breath was a warm caress in the dimly lit quarters. "It might be..." the words were drawn out of her slowly, huskily. "If you think it is absolutely necessary."
His heart rate increased and he leant forward slightly. "I do... think it is... necessary."
She was so close. All he had to do was lean into her a fraction more and take her lips. He leaned. And touched empty air. She was on the other side of the couch, resting back, her full wineglass in her hand.
"That's cheating," she said. "Advance knowledge of the subject renders the bet invalid."
He settled back into the couch, the tingle of regret tempered by the knowledge that over the next week he would kiss five Kathryn's, one of whom would be real, and he would surely know the real Kathryn. On that he would bet his life.
"I'll know, Kathryn. I'll know which one is really you."
She winked at him. "Will you? I wonder. We'll find out at the end of five days."
She rose from the couch and placed her glass carefully on the table. "See you on the bridge tomorrow morning, Chakotay."
She left, leaving him with the thrum of arousal in his blood and the sure knowledge that the next few days were going to be very interesting. He headed for the shower. A cold one.
Kathryn smiled to herself as she left her quarters the next evening, ten minutes before the first block of reserved holodeck time. She had a plan of her own, one that she considered foolproof, and one that, given the promise in Chakotay's eyes last night, should be highly enjoyable. Her plan was simple. Instead of substituting herself into the program one night out of five, she intended replacing the hologram for four nights out of the possible five. Then she would have four chances to enjoy Chakotay's kiss - there was no doubt in her mind that he intended making kissing part of the test - and Chakotay would then pick the holographic Kathryn as the real one, as he would surely notice that one was different. So in exchange for four guilt-free kisses, she would throw their bet and deliberately lose. Although the prize was open-ended, with the winner getting to pick what they wanted from the loser, she had every faith that Chakotay would not take advantage of her on his choice of prize. No, he would pick something safe, like a week off from his duty shifts.
Kathryn entered the holodeck wearing the clothing he had stipulated for the scenario, a loose green dress, one of her favorites as it happened. She was barefoot, so as to negate the sound of footsteps on the deck plating. She activated the scenario; a simple log cabin set in the mountains. There were three rooms and a long verandah overlooking a panorama of snow capped peaks. The program was Chakotay's. He had taken her to visit it a couple of times, where they had enjoyed a walk in the mountains, and an al fresco meal on the verandah. She knew the cabin had a large open plan living and kitchen area, a bathroom with a large tub and shower, and a bedroom with a large, sinfully comfortable looking bed. She knew Chakotay stayed overnight in the scenario sometimes, whenever he could swing the holodeck time. She removed the Janeway character from the scenario and waited in the bedroom for Chakotay to enter the holodeck. It was only a minute or two before his footsteps stopped in the main room of the cabin.
"Computer, activate character Janeway."
She walked out into the main room, heart pounding. Chakotay stood there, propped against the kitchen counter pouring himself a glass of wine. "Hello Kathryn." He smiled his toe-curling smile and toasted her with his glass. "I'd offer you a glass of wine, but I don't know yet if you have a holographic or a real stomach. I'd hate to make a mess on the holodeck."
Her mouth watered; he was drinking her favorite cabernet sauvignon. "Good point," she said calmly. "Guess I won't be eating any of that Brie either."
Chakotay cut himself a large slice. "A pity." His remorse obviously wasn't genuine. "All the more for me."
Kathryn sat down on the large couch overlooking the wide verandah. The French doors were open to catch the evening breeze. She tucked her feet underneath her. The other end of the couch yawned emptily. She hoped he would sit down, take her hand and start to try and guess if she was real or holographic by more tactile means. But he didn't seem to be in a hurry, content to lean against the counter sipping that luscious red wine and eating the soft, ripe cheese. Her mouth watered, as much from watching his dark hands, sure in their task and the close of his lips over the morsel as from the food she wasn't eating. She hoped her stomach wouldn't rumble and give her away.
Eventually he lowered himself on the other end of the couch and grinned wickedly at her. "So, Kathryn. I'm supposed to guess if you are a hologram of yourself or if you are real. Tell me, how do you think I should go about it?" He stretched his legs out in front of him and put his hands behind his head.
She tried to concentrate on his face as she answered, rather than on the way the soft cotton pants stretched over his taut, solid thighs. "Talk to me," she suggested.
"I am," he pointed out, "but I also need to gauge your reaction to me." Abruptly he straightened and shuffled closer to her on the couch. "Kathryn is always aware of me," he murmured. "When I'm too close her breathing is fast and shallow. Her skin shivers at my touch." Deliberately he brushed a strand of hair from her face, his fingertips lightly grazed her cheek and she couldn't suppress the tremor that ran through her.
"Yes," he murmured, "like that." He ran a fingertip down her neck, resting it for a moment on her thundering pulse. "My Kathryn won't let me too close to her," he whispered the words as he closed the gap between them. "I think she's afraid of her own reaction. She's scared that once we close the gap there'll be no going back. She wouldn't let me do this."
His breath puffed on her neck as he bent his head and placed his mouth on the soft skin between neck and shoulder. Kathryn gasped, as he kissed his way up her neck towards her jaw.
"But you, whether you're real or hologram, you, Kathryn, are letting me do this, because you think, in here, in the surreal holodeck that I won't be able to sort out the reality. You're allowing yourself a taste of the forbidden, because you can't stop wanting it any more than I can. So here, on the holodeck, in the confusion of realities, I can do this," and he moved his lips up and captured hers.
His lips were soft and he tasted of the full-bodied wine he had drunk earlier. He captured her mouth and kissed her softly, persuasively, possessively. His hands remained at his side. Kathryn moaned softly into his mouth, and her hands rose without volition, to clasp around his neck and draw him closer even as he plundered her mouth. Finally, she thought, finally and without guilt, she knew what his kiss was like.
He started softening and lightening the kiss, drawing away from her. He lifted his head. "I'm going now, Kathryn. I'll see you tomorrow."
With a final touch of his fingertips to her cheek, he left the holodeck without a backward glance.
She rested her head on the back of the couch, composing herself, drawing steadying deep breaths. She knew he would go straight to his quarters; part of the deal was that he would leave the holodeck immediately, so that he wouldn't notice which night that the real Kathryn left the holodeck. She had no doubt he would keep his word, but she needed a few moments to compose herself before she left. She was meeting him for dinner in his quarters shortly and she needed to be calm by then.
Chakotay couldn't suppress his foolish grin as he ambled around his quarters preparing dinner for himself and Kathryn. The holodeck experiment was responsible. The first session had gone superbly well, from his point of view, and he was already looking forward to the second. Five Kathryns. He had no doubt he would pick the correct one and was already plotting what he would claim for a prize.
The chime rang and Kathryn entered the room. She handed him their customary bottle of wine, lightly brushing his hand with her fingertips as she did so. His pulse leapt in response and he stifled a grin. Oh yes, he would win this bet.
"I don't know what you've planned for dinner, Chakotay," she was saying, "but for some reason I felt like a glass of cabernet sauvignon."
The label was the same as the one he had been drinking on the holodeck earlier. He poured them both a glass and they clinked glasses. "To our experiment," he said.
"To our bet," she agreed, "and a mutually satisfying outcome." Her eyes were wicked over the rim of her glass, daring him to respond."
"I don't think we'll be disappointed," he said.
They ate the simple pasta and salad he had prepared and he watched her. Like the previous night the efficient Captain had gone, and the flirtatious sexy woman who seduced him with her eyes was back. He watched in bemused fascination as the tip of her tongue licked a drop of sauce from her upper lip. The memory of the holodeck kiss earlier in the evening rose in his mind and he felt himself stiffening. He attacked his food with renewed gusto to distract himself.
Later, she stretched out on one end of his couch, her feet tucked beneath his thigh. "Ready for the second night's experiment?" she asked him.
"Oh, yes," he replied, "ready and... willing." Her toes wriggled against the underside of his thigh, distracting him from her words.
"Good," she said, "me too." And like the other night, she drained her glass, swung her feet to the floor and stood. "Goodnight Chakotay. Pleasant dreams." And she was gone, leaving him once again hard and aching with the images her words had evoked.
Kathryn was waiting in the holodeck ten minutes ahead of time the next evening. She wondered if he would duplicate his behavior of the first session, or if he would change his approach. She couldn't wait to find out. The one thing she was sure about was that once again she would enjoy a long, toe-curling kiss with the man she loved. Her lips tingled in anticipation.
She heard him enter and activate her character. She walked out of the bedroom, dressed in the same green dress as the night before.
"Hello Kathryn," said Chakotay, "or should I say, hello again, Kathryn?"
She shrugged. "That's for me to know," she said.
He walked over to her and stroked a hand down her bare arm. "And for me to find out." He circled her, looking her up and down. She tried to remain relaxed under his scrutiny.
"Looks like Kathryn," he said. He stroked her arm again. "Feels like Kathryn." Without ceremony he pulled her into his arms and buried his face in the crook of her neck. "Smells like Kathryn," he mumbled.
His lips worked their way up her neck and nibbled along her jaw until he found her mouth. His tongue came out and flicked over her lower lip. "Tastes like Kathryn." And he took her mouth without hesitation.
He was more forceful than the previous evening, sweeping his tongue into her mouth, tangling it with hers. She responded, kissing him back without hesitation. Her arms wrapped around his waist and he pulled her closer, slipping a solid, muscled thigh between hers. She pressed down on it slightly, moaning into his mouth as the ripples of arousal spread through her.
He lifted his head from hers. "This is definitely the best way to find out which is the real you," he said hoarsely. His eyes, dark with arousal never left her face and she tried not to blush under his scrutiny. He raised a tender hand to stroke her cheek, then his wavering control snapped and he groaned and bent to kiss her again.
Her legs were shaking and only his leg pushed between hers stopped her from falling. He sensed her wire-strung tension and murmured into her mouth, "nothing inappropriate, Kathryn. We're just going to kiss."
She was falling again, falling into the feelings that his mouth was evoking. He softened the kiss, turning it into a slow, meandering heated kiss, sipping and tasting her rather than plundering and taking. He filled her senses; the spicy smell of him, the warmth and moistness of his mouth and the feeling of his arousal throbbing against her belly. She couldn't have stopped kissing him to save her life.
"Holodeck time expires in one minute." The dispassionate voice of the computer recalled her to sanity.
Chakotay pulled away from her and without a backward glance walked out of the holodeck. Without his support she sank to the floor, hands pressed to her burning cheeks. Intermingled with the passion and want coursing through her body was the sinking feeling that she had unleashed a monster. Silly bet or not, this was fast becoming something she couldn't control and didn't want to try. The glee she had felt at having four stolen kisses with the man she loved had quickly turned into the worst sort of drug - fatally addictive and one to which she was becoming totally dependent on.
She seriously considered letting the holographic Kathryn take her place the next night. Her original plan had been to let the hologram substitute on the fourth night, but she wasn't sure anymore if this was a good idea. On the bridge, Chakotay was his normal friendly, professional self. Nothing in his behavior reflected the passionate and consuming kiss they had shared on the holodeck the night before. But if her plan worked, she reflected, he would never know he *had* shared the kisses with the real Kathryn. She trusted that her holographic self would behave with more decorum than she had.
Ten minutes before the start of the holodeck time, she caved in, as she had known she would. Swiftly donning the green dress, she made it to the holodeck with a scant minute to spare. She walked out of the bedroom at his voice. He was standing in the center of the room, his eyes on her face. She walked over and stood in front of him.
"Hello, Chakotay." Her voice was husky with anticipation of what was to come and she wasn't disappointed.
Without a word he hauled her into his arms and his mouth claimed hers, kissing her deeply, as if she was both his air supply and the key to his soul. She responded instantly, all the vague thoughts she had entertained of keeping it light between them fled out to the holographic mountains. When he thrust his thigh between her legs she rocked herself on it, moaning into his mouth as his tongue caressed and stroked her. He didn't try and touch her more intimately; his arms were tightly wrapped around her, occasionally lightly stroking her back, but his hands didn't stray to touch her aching breasts or grasp her buttocks. She grasped his instead, trying to force him closer, but although he couldn't hide his erection, long and solid between them, he didn't attempt to press his hips into hers or stimulate himself further against her.
No, the drawing in, the need and the urgency were mainly hers. Dimly she heard the computer's voice warning of the end of the holodeck session, and once again, Chakotay tore himself from her grasp and walked out of the holodeck.
It was many minutes before she was composed enough to leave.
The fourth day, she was horrified to realize she was seriously considering substituting herself into all five nights of the scenario. She eventually regained enough sense to realize that Chakotay would surely smell a rat if she did, as then there would be no contrast between her real and holographic selves.
She spent the time pacing in her quarters, wondering what Chakotay was doing with her doppelganger. No doubt he would kiss her; she hoped her holographic self had the protocol subroutines firmly in place and would push him away. She sighed and dropped to the couch. She couldn't recall whose idea this bet had been, but she did know it had been a big mistake. She wasn't sure she could forget his kisses in a hurry, and was equally unsure if she wanted to.
They left the bridge together at the end of their shift on the fifth day. Chakotay smiled at her as they boarded the turbo lift.
"Last night tonight, Kathryn. Shall we meet for dinner afterwards to determine the winner and compare notes?"
She batted his arm affectionately. "I've been thinking about my prize. You better get ready to deliver."
His eyes were warm on her face. "So confident," he teased. "Very well. Dinner at 20:00 hours in my quarters. That will give me an hour after the holodeck time to decide what I want from you."
"Very well," she said," I'll see you then. Although," she threw over her shoulder as she left him in the corridor, "who knows? Maybe I'll see you before then." She winked and left.
Kathryn made sure she was early into the holodeck this last night. Mixed in with the anticipation of what was sure to come, was the bittersweet knowledge that this was the last time. The last kiss.
She heard him enter the holodeck and she walked out of the bedroom. He walked right up to her without a word, and drew her into his arms and bent his head to kiss her. He was tender, persuasive and probing as he was before, but mixed in with that was an urgency she hadn't felt before. The last kiss. He knew it too.
He kissed her as if he could subsume her; as if he could draw her essence out through her mouth like a phantasm. She matched his passion, voraciously attacking him, running her hands down his back to grasp his buttocks, pulling him towards her.
He thrust a firm thigh between hers, and she rocked herself on it, rubbing herself on his leg. His hands were all over her body, lifting one of her legs to wrap around his waist, his mouth on hers, his hands on her waist, her breast.
She gasped as he unerringly found the rigid peak of her nipple, rubbing it through the thin fabric of the dress, teasing it to a hard peak. His mouth suckled on the curve of her neck even as his hand left her breast to skate down over her belly to the juncture of her legs, wrapped around him.
She moaned as he pressed the heel of his hand against her, wanting to feel his hot fingers make more intimate contact. "Please..." she wasn't aware she was begging, until she heard his voice, hoarse with need, answering her.
"Kathryn..." his fingers pressed insistently against her center. "I want you..."
"Yes..." She wrapped herself more firmly around his thigh. "Please, Chakotay. Make love with me."
His mouth claimed hers once more, plundering her mouth, even as his hand pushed her closer to release. She started to fumble with the clasp of his trousers, when suddenly, he pulled himself away from her, moving in a fluid motion to the other side of the room.
"No." His voice was strong. "Not here. Not like this."
She stared at him, the daze of passion giving way to painful clarity.
He turned, and without a word left the holodeck, leaving her alone with the flame of need flickering though her blood. She wrapped her arms around herself, willing herself to calm. How had that become so out of hand? She could still feel the imprint of his fingers pressed against her. Her panties felt damp with her response to him. The feel of him in her arms, warm and vital, was still vivid in her mind. Her breasts tingled from where they had been pressed against his chest.
She drew a deep, shuddering breath. Somehow she had to compose herself enough to leave the holodeck and have dinner with him in his quarters. Somehow she had to laugh with him and convince him that the real Kathryn was in the holodeck the only night that she hadn't really been there. Then she had to joke with him, pretending that she had no idea what the holographic Kathryn had done in the holodeck with him. And hardest of all, she had to return to their normal relationship. The edge of flirtatious danger, the thin line they trod so waveringly. She wasn't sure she could do it. More importantly, she wasn't sure she wanted to do it.
Kathryn had managed to compose herself somewhat by the time 20:00 hours came around. She presented herself at his quarters, bottle of cabernet sauvignon under her arm and wearing civvies, but not the green dress that now held so many memories for her.
He answered the door; eyes warm on her face. He pecked her cheek and took the wine. "Cabernet sauvignon. My favorite."
"I thought you might need cheering up after you lose the bet," she replied in a teasing tone.
"I won't lose," he said, "but to draw out the suspense, let's have dinner first."
During dinner, she worked hard at being the same old Kathryn that he knew so well. She laughed, talked and touched his thigh, trying hard not to remember what it had felt like, rubbing between her legs only a few hours earlier. Her lips felt swollen from his kisses and she hoped he didn't notice.
He didn't appear to notice. He served her vegetable risotto, poured her wine; touched her hand, her wrist, and her knee as he always did. His hand didn't linger longer than normal, and if he sat closer to her, close enough for her to feel the heat from his body, then it wasn't unusual.
When dessert and coffee had been cleared away and the last of the wine finished, she knew she couldn't put it off any longer. She watched his straight back as he fiddled at the replicator, following the long lines of it with her eyes, lingering on the swell of his taut buttocks. Her hand itched with the need to curve a hand down over his hips, to grasp those same buttocks and pull him close to her.
He turned, a glass of Muscat in each hand, and came and sat next to her on the couch. He handed her a glass.
"To us," he said, "to our bet."
She clinked glasses with him and sipped the sweet raisiny liquid. He was watching her over the rim of her glass. "Well," he said. "Don't you want to know when I think it was really you in the holodeck?"
"Sure." She put her glass down on the low table and curled her feet up underneath her, a slight barrier between them. "So which night was different?"
"The fourth night." He said it without hesitation and with total conviction.
She tried to suppress a grin, but failed. Her plan had worked. "The fourth night? Sure about that?"
"Positive." He was grinning openly back at her.
She sighed, trying hard to look dejected. "I concede then. The fourth night was me in the holodeck." She patted him on the arm. "What do you want for your prize?"
He grabbed her hand and held it steady. "You're counting your chickens again, Kathryn. I didn't say the fourth night was you. I said the fourth night was different." He was watching her carefully, and her stomach turned abruptly over.
"The fourth night was the holographic Kathryn. All the other nights were you."
She gasped, unable to hide the blush that crept up into her cheeks. He knew. Spirits, how did he know?
He was still talking; "Four nights in the holodeck were the real you, Kathryn. Including tonight, when you begged me to make love with you."
She was trapped and knew it. Somehow, god knows how, her plan had backfired. He knew how she had reacted to him. She pulled her hand away in mortification, but he gently retrieved it. "I knew on the first night that it was you," he said quietly. "So I contented myself with a kiss that I hoped you would accept from me. I didn't expect to see you in there again, but on the second night, I knew it was you as well, and that could only mean that you wanted to be there, that you wanted to hold me as much as I wanted you. Do you want to know what I did with your hologram on the fourth night?"
Wordlessly she nodded, unable to meet his eyes.
"Nothing," he said. "Absolutely nothing. I knew it was a hologram the minute I entered the holodeck. My pulse didn't leap in anticipation, I didn't want to hold her, stroke her, cherish her. I didn't want to kiss her and I certainly didn't want to make love with her as I do with you. So I sat down and talked to her. I told her how much I loved you and that I hoped that this experiment meant that you wanted me too. I asked her if she thought you loved me. Do you want to know what she said?"
"No," she said hoarsely. "No more... "
He carried on, as if he hadn't heard her. "She said that you loved me. That you had loved me for years."
He shuffled forward on the couch. "So, I'm claiming my prize, Kathryn, but I hope you'll agree that it's our prize, not just mine. I want you to tell me that you love me. And I want you to kiss me like you did in the holodeck. And then, if you still want it, I want us to make love together."
She met his eyes, wanting to see what was written in them. Through the hot glitter of unshed tears, she saw his face, familiar and oh, so dear. She saw the expression in his eyes; warm, loving and dark with suppressed passion. She saw his hands resting on hers; shaking slightly and she knew that it was costing him dearly to say this. That even now, he feared rejection. She thought about denying what he said; asserting that it was indeed really her on the holodeck on the fourth night, swearing vehemently that she didn't and couldn't love him, but she knew that he would see through her statements for the falsehoods that they were. He could check the computer to determine her whereabouts on those evenings so there was no point in lying. And she finally knew where all of this had been leading for all these years. There was no need for subterfuge anymore, no need for denial or restraint. She had kissed him on the holodeck and the ship kept moving forward in space, they still treated each other with respect and professionalism. It was all so easy.
She smiled and her hand came up to touch his cheek. "I love you," she said. "Make love with me."
He stood, taking her hand and led her to his bed. He disrobed her slowly, his hands stroking and sliding over her body with deliberate movements as each new plane and curve was revealed. The desperation of the last holodeck kiss was gone, replaced with slow skating movements, and the knowledge that this was real and this was forever.
He was a skilful lover, as she had known he would be; unselfish and giving, bringing her to swiftly towards climax with his mouth and his fingers, until she sobbed out his name in paroxysms of joy, clutching his hair, her nails leaving crescents of red on his bronze skin. He covered every inch of her skin with slow, crawling fingers and questing mouth, worshipping her body, seeking out her pleasure points and surrounding her with his love.
She held him close to her, keenly aware that this was real and that this was binding. There was no going back. The holodeck may have been a nebulous fantasy, but here, in his quarters, in his bed, with the sleep-scent of him surrounding her, his soft cotton sheets under her back and his skin sliding over hers, this was the only reality there was. The only one that counted.
When he moved to cover her, his body slick with his sweat and hers she knew a moment of piercing truth. She and Chakotay. Together. As they should be. He slid inside her slowly, her body stretching easily to accommodate his length, and she cradled him within her thighs, feeling his hot breath on her neck, the weight of him over her and the long forgotten feeling of fullness inside.
"I love you," she whispered, as much for herself as for him.
He raised himself up above her; his turgid member embedded deeply within her and his sweat dripping down to pool in the hollow between her breasts. He moved slowly, mouthing words of love as he encompassed her in his spiraling climax, so that they came sweetly together.
Afterwards, she watched him sleep, his face relaxed and innocent. He looked so much younger, so much happier. She stroked his side as he slept, smiling as he moved even closer towards her, his leg wrapping around her hip in sleep, his face settling into the crook of her neck.
She looked back at the events that had led them to this point. Was it due to the two bottles of wine the evening they made their flippant bet? Was it just simply, that it was time? She didn't know and right now it didn't seem important. Whatever it was that had taken them to this point, now that they were here she didn't think they would disentangle again in this lifetime.
Feedback? Please. Shayenne
© Shayenne, November 2000 Please email me to post/distribute elsewhere.