Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything. I get nothing from this, not even free beer.
Rated NC-17 - sex and bad language
Thanks to KJ who said the plot did make sense. The title is a song by a group called, I think Fishbone. Apart from the fact I liked the line and felt it fitted there is no connection between this story and that song or any other come to that.
A body depressed the bed on which he lay, as someone bent over to kiss him, long hair brushing his face. He was lying on his back in his quarters, covers kicked down around his hips as was his wont. He felt small hands run up his naked chest, spread out briefly to cover his collarbones and inch their way up towards his face. Warm breath feathered over his cheek.
"Kathryn," he murmured.
He was gradually swimming up through layers of consciousness to realize the impossible was once again happening. He didn't know why, didn't want to analyze why, but after an absence of nearly four years, Kathryn had once again come to his bed. He kept his eyes closed, fearing that if he opened them, she would be a dream.
But, for whatever reason, she was here now. Hell, maybe she was a dream. He certainly wasn't fully awake. He wondered why she didn't kiss him. He could smell her breath puffing gently on his face as her hands wandered his body. With his eyes closed his other senses were heightened. The feeling of her fingers crawling over her skin. The smell of her breath. Funny, he didn't remember her breath like this, with that slight metallic tang.
He kept his hands by his sides, still fearing this was a dream, if it was he didn't want to find out just yet. Her hands moved down the length of his body, reacquainting themselves with his broad chest. Her questing lips found his mouth and forced his lips open. Something was wrong. Kathryn never kissed like this, stabbing her tongue in and out of his mouth, fucking his mouth. Kathryn didn't taste like this, only Seska....
His eyes flew open. Seska was leaning over him, kissing him. Now he knew it was a dream. Seska was dead, had been dead for nearly four years ... just after he and Kathryn had come back from New Earth. But his hand on her shoulder as he pushed her away... she felt solid, corporeal. He thrust her back, rolling out from underneath her, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth to rid himself of the taste of her. If this was a dream, it felt very real. He could feel the tough Starfleet carpet under his bare toes, feel the erection that had grown in the haze when he thought it was Kathryn whither and die. He faced her, with the bed between them.
"Seska?"
"The one and only, darling. Missed me have you? Missed our wild times in bed together? I heard you say *her* name," she spat the word with disgust, "but no prim and chaste Starfleet virgin can satisfy you like I can."
He listened to her rant, as he tried to decide if he was still dreaming. He saw his communicator pin and ducked down to pick it up, but when he straightened, pin in hand, she was gone. Gone as completely as if she had never been there. Which maybe she never had.
His hand hovered over his communicator badge. Should he call an intruder alert? He was not sure she had even been there in the first place.
"Computer, has anyone entered or left my quarters in the last ten minutes?"
"Negative."
"Computer, list who is in these quarters."
"Commander Chakotay."
He looked around. Apart from the disarray of his bedding, caused by him rolling off the bed, his quarters were the same as they ever were. He walked around, looking in the living area and the bathroom. Nothing.
He walked back into the bedroom and got back into bed. He felt wide-awake, and knew it would be a long time before he slept. Knew that the brief and glorious moment when he had dreamt that Kathryn had come to him had started an ache in his chest that he thought he had controlled.
Kathryn. Memories of New Earth returned. Although he made a brief and unsuccessful attempt to suppress them, he knew it was no use and he let them wash over him. Their time down there remained as happy memories for both of them, although that was all they were now, just memories. After the plasma storm, which had destroyed most of her insect traps, they had drawn closer. She, realizing that maybe after all, they would not leave the planet. He, knowing he already loved her deeply and that maybe, just maybe, his dreams were within his grasp. After his "Angry Warrior" speech, as they afterwards referred to it, Kathryn had been forced to confront his feelings head on, and found she could not longer deny her own.
He remembered, not without pain, how at the end of his speech, he had stared at her, fearful of her reaction. His heart in his eyes. She had not smiled, but her face had softened, although maybe that was the haze of his tears blurring the sharp edges. Slowly, she had extended her hand, uncurling her fingers hesitantly, never taking her eyes off of his face. She had reached out to him, and they had clasped hands, his thumb stroking the soft skin. Her eyes had filled with moisture. They had stayed like that, unmoving and unspeaking, until, without unjoining their hands, he had stood, pulling her up with him. A tentative step from him, a hesitant step from her and they were in each other's arms, arms reaching around to clasp around their backs, bodies pressing tightly together, hip to hip, chest to breast, thigh to thigh. Her head had rested on his shoulder, a small sigh, his lips in her hair. Homecoming.
After a minute, or maybe an hour she had lifted her head from his shoulder. Her hand, with its dirty, broken nails had gently traced his face. Her eyes had met his and this time there was no hesitation.
"I love you too Chakotay," she had said.
She had raised her chin slightly and he had lowered his head, and their lips came together, in a soft, gentle whisper of a kiss. The first touch of their lips had mirrored the joining of their souls. A connection was made, completing the arc that had started when his face had appeared on her viewscreen nearly two years before. Their lips had clung, explored, his tongue dipped into the softness of her mouth, sweeping around, discovering her taste, tangling with hers as their passion, so long suppressed ran wild. Bodies had strained closer, electric contact as her nipples hardened and dug pencil points into his chest. His big hands had stroked her back from shoulder to buttock, over and over, drawing her even closer, trying to absorb her essence through their clothes, trying to sublimate himself in her.
She was no less reticent, pulling open his shirt to feel his skin.
That night they were not divided.
The division came later, much later, but still an eternity too soon. When Tuvok's hail came, they had been on New Earth for nearly four months and lovers for only six weeks. Their beds had been pushed together, the sleeping alcove partitions long gone. Some days they did not leave the bed, so intent were they on their new journey, a voyage into each other's skin and soul. Their lovemaking was untiring, never had Chakotay been so virile, so insatiable, so unquenched by a woman. Their days were sensual expeditions of discovery. They made love outside, glorying in the beauty of their paradise planet. There were days when they didn't make love, but they constantly touched, learning the tapestry of the other's body. And those days when they denied themselves heightened the anticipation, the longing to be connected so deeply through sex that they truly did not know where one ended and the other began.
They had been outside in the garden the day it all changed. Kathryn had been lying in the earth, tending the Talaxian tomatoes. Since their sensual discovery of each other, everyday life had changed, and they gloried in the mundane, the ordinary, finding new joys and sensations in routine things. Gardening was one, and he loved to watch her digging in the soil with her bare hands, delighting in the tactile, earthy nature of what she was doing. They had kissed and started to make love, laughing as he dragged her back to the shelter and pushed her back against the table. He had been pulling her skirt up, his hand already between her legs when the static chirp of the communicator had shocked them both into stillness.
Later, much later she had returned to the cabin, red eyed and dirty. He knew without words what she was going to say. He had raged, pleaded, begged, but she was unmoved, the tears falling like acid on their joined hands as she explained again and again, why they couldn't be lovers on the ship. He had been forced to accept it finally, and that night as they lay together for the last time, he had taken her forcefully, almost brutally, squeezing her breasts in his large hands, pummeling into her as if to drive all reason from her. She had let him manhandle her, accepting him into her body, but lying passively underneath him, not responding until his rage and disbelief culminated in a fierce orgasm. His weight was on his elbows, his head thrown back, howling his denial to the night as his body pushed and strained, his hips jerking uncontrollably until he emptied himself into her.
She lay underneath him and with gentleness and understanding started to caress him, kissing him softly, whispering words of love. Their second joining was the antithesis of the first, as they coupled gently and sweetly, giving and receiving pleasure with mouths, hands, fingers, lips and bodies. They fell asleep still joined, clinging together in the dampness of sweat, tears and their combined juices.
On Voyager, it had taken all of his self-control not to scream, rant, rage against fate in the darkness of his unfamiliar quarters. Not to smash his fist into the bulkheads, not to snap at his friends when they expressed their joy at seeing them. For over a month he had nursed the hope that she might, against all odds, be pregnant with his child. But they had agreed on New Earth that it would be irresponsible in the extreme to bring a child into their world, knowing that the chances were they would both die leaving their child as a lonely soul in the galaxy of their creation. So they both had been conscientious with their boosters and of course there was no child.
It had not been easy for him, and he knew that Kathryn felt the same although she was better at hiding it then he. The pain in his eyes slowly disappeared, they formed a friendship of sorts, and he even had a couple of short-lived relationships. He never stopped loving her, but was able to accept her decision. What she felt he didn't know.
Was it a dream tonight? That he didn't know either. It must have been, he had been so blindingly sure it was Kathryn, then it was Seska, then it was nobody and he was alone in his quarters. As always.
His sleepless night was evident on the bridge the next morning. Dark circles lined his eyes and his skin had an unhealthy pallor to it. Kathryn eyed him across the console.
"Are you alright Commander?"
He summoned a small smile for her. "Yes, bad dream last night and I didn't sleep afterwards."
"Would you like dinner tonight?"
"That would be nice, but I think I better get an early night, I'm taking Alpha Shift tomorrow."
"As you wish, Commander."
She smiled at him again and they resumed studying their individual reports.
He fell asleep when his head hit the pillow.
And then, in the darkness of his quarters he dreamed again. This time it was more than a kiss and a caress. Hands pushed his boxers down, freed his penis and encased it in a warm, wet mouth. He was instantly hard.
"Kathryn," he murmured, sliding his hands down to tangle in her long hair. Long hair? Immediately he was awake, banishing the dream. This was too real. Kathryn's hair was short.
"Computer, lights at 75%"
He stared, mouth agape at Seska, draped over his legs, mouth wrapped around his erection.
"Kathryn! NO..... It's NOT you."
Seska had lifted her mouth from him, eyes hard as she heard the name he cried.
"Still want the unobtainable Chakotay?"
His erection had withered. He stared at her in disbelief. It wasn't a dream. She was real. She was dead. She was here.
He touched her shoulder, wondering if his hand would pass through her. A ghost of his memories. But she felt solid, warm and disturbingly real under his hand.
"What are you doing here." Coldly.
She smiled a secret smile. Dimly he noted that she looked Cardassian, no longer Bajoran. The high forehead, the long rather stringy hair, the diamond on her forehead.
His uniform was tangled on the floor, where he had abandoned it in his search for oblivion earlier. He groped for his comm badge to summon security.
"I removed it darling. I didn't think we would want any disturbances for our romantic reunion."
"We will have no reunion, romantic or otherwise," he snarled. He grabbed her shoulders. "Now tell me what you are doing here and what you want."
"It's rather obvious what I want isn't it? You. I want to fuck you one last time. You always were the best."
"I'd rather fuck a snake."
"I think that's enough, Seska."
The voice from the doorway made them both turn around. Kathryn stood there, wearing a cotton nightgown, hair loose and rumpled; she had obviously just got out of bed. She stood in the doorway, a phaser trained on Seska.
"Move away from her, Chakotay. I've called security - I heard your yell through the wall. We'll find out what she is doing here, and how she got here shortly."
Chakotay moved slowly away, a quick glance at Kathryn. She never took her eyes or her phaser off Seska. A crash in the outer room signaled the arrival of the security team.
"In here Tuvok," she called.
Tuvok and two ensigns entered, phasers drawn. Tuvok summoned up the situation in a glance and his eyebrow raised.
"Ensign Phillips, escort the prisoner to the brig. Commander, are you unharmed?"
In a quick motion, Seska lunged, secured her arm around Chakotay before he could react and moved behind him, pinning him to her.
"I think not." Her calculating smile encompassed all of them for a moment, before the shimmer of a transporter locked onto her and Chakotay. The transport faltered, but they disappeared in dissolution of molecules.
"Tuvok, get a lock on their destination, " snapped Janeway. "Scan the records for evidence of a temporal flux. Madame Seska didn't just beam over from a hidden ship. We'll meet in the ready room in twenty minutes."
She turned and strode out of the Commander's quarters.
A short while later, the senior staff were assembled. Quickly Janeway outlined the situation, as she knew it.
"It is obvious that she came through from the past - we know she is dead in this time line. The question is how far from the past."
"Why did she want Chakotay now?" asked B'Elanna.
"She said, er ... I heard her say she wanted to have intercourse with the Commander," replied Janeway.
"That good that women come back from the dead for him," quipped Tom, "Wonder what his secret is?"
"Stow it, Paris," growled B'Elanna.
Janeway stood and started to pace. "Remember when she stole the Commander's DNA and tried to impregnate herself? I think she came through from a time immediately prior to that happening. I also don't think she realizes she has jumped forward. I think she believes herself to still be in that timeline. Given her earlier relationship with the Commander, she might be wanting to conceive a child by him the old fashioned way."
"But we know her child was Cullah's," said Tom.
"We know that now, but we also know she seemed to be serious about having the Commander's child. Why else take his DNA? Suppose she was unable to conceive with him normally, that might make her resort to other tactics. Chakotay didn't seem, er... very interested in her when they beamed out, in fact if looks could kill she'd be dead - again."
"Yeah, she can't actually force him to perform if he's not interested," said Tom.
Janeway stopped behind his chair, "Thank you Mr. Paris for that observation," she said dryly.
"There are other methods," said Tuvok, "One does not need to have intercourse to become pregnant."
Janeway resumed pacing.
"We also know, or we think we know, the outcome of this. We know that Seska had a child, that is not the Commander's and that she was killed a short time later. We have also had the Commander with us from that time until the present. If he had somehow remained behind there from this kidnapping, then it is logical to assume that he would have found some way to contact us in that present, that we could not explain now."
"If he's still alive," said B'Elanna quietly.
"The Commander is not much use to Seska dead," said Janeway.
"Captain, I beg to differ but for her purposes the Commander is just as useful dead." said Tuvok. Janeway turned, eyes flashing. "No, she wants him alive, she wants him back in her bed. But if he is reluctant, I don't know how much time we have to find him. Tuvok, what did the scans reveal?"
"You are correct in your assumption Captain, that the Commander has been transported back in time. I cannot pinpoint it accurately, but it appears that Seska took them back to approximately a week before she extracted his DNA in what we now can guess was her second attempt to impregnate herself. The logs reveal the location of the Kazon ship at that time. However, what I do not understand is the fact that the location of the Kazon ship is now 30,000 light-years distant and four years past."
"Something must have facilitated that transport. Harry, scan for anomalies, or anything that could have caused such a jump."
"I'm on it Captain."
Harry hurried out of the room.
"B'Elanna, is there anyway we can extend the range of the transporters? Even if it means draining other ships systems."
I'll look into it Captain."
She and Tom left the room.
Tuvok was left. "Captain, assuming we can find a way to locate the Commander, someone is going to have to beam across to find him on the Kazon ship, unless we can find a way to lock onto his pattern without his comm badge. We risk contaminating the time line by such a move."
"I know Tuvok. I am hoping we can locate him and beam him out without needing to go over. If someone goes over, it must be with the explicit understanding that this is a stealth operation. If at all possible, they should remain unseen."
"Captain, if anyone goes, under no circumstances should it be you."
"We'll decide that at the time Lieutenant. Dismissed."
© Shayenne, August 2000 Please email me to post/distribute elsewhere.