Truth in the moonlight
By Sheri
Rated pg
I'm sitting here on this bench, on this peaceful beach just outside of San Francisco, enjoying the darkness that nighttime brings. I know now what I want in life, at least I think I do and it's that sudden realization that brings the peace I sought.
It surprises me but it also brings me to a turning point.
I've spent the past two months since we arrived from the Delta Quadrant wandering all over Earth, visiting the places that were special to me, seeing the places I had always wanted to. And thinking.
I had spent the past seven years pining away for the unattainable, hoping that the moment we reached Earth that she would be mine. Yet as soon as we set foot on this beloved planet it occurred to me that maybe she wasn't what I really wanted in life.
There was no doubt in my mind that Kathryn Janeway was a beautiful woman. Strong, caring, determined, many of the qualities I would look for in a woman. But she was also a Starfleet Captain and with that came the career that would always be between us.
I know now that no matter what happened, Starfleet would always come first and I would always be second. No, I'm not a selfish man yet I would hope in a relationship that there would be time for me, too.
I can see it now, if she was even interested, which I highly doubt, I would be home and she would be off in the stars somewhere, coming back to me every so often to say that she loved me. A family would probably be out of the picture; she wouldn't want to take the time to be a mother knowing that would take time away from her career.
I shake my head and look back at the beach, the water is glistening in the moonlight, the waves rolling in, dark water with iridescent bubbles as they hit the shore. Yes, I need to move on with my life, to find that someone special that will give me the love and the family that I so long for.
I know Kathryn will always remain special and the doubts I have about my epiphany will always be in the back of my mind. Did I convince myself of all of this to spare myself more rejection?
I barely noticed the figure as I looked down the beach, a woman walking along the shoreline, a white billowy dress waving in the slight wind. She has hair barely past her shoulders. What color? I can't tell, yet I can see the way she moves so freely. Even with her slow stride I can see the beauty of her.
I don't know who this is but I'm drawn to her, something in the back of my mind telling me that this is she, the one who is the other half of my soul. Am I ready? Should I move on from Kathryn this quickly?
One answer, of course I am. I never had Kathryn, only in my dreams.
I get up from the bench and approach her; her hair is illuminated in the darkness giving her a ghostly appearance yet I still can't see her face. I'm close now and I open my mouth but she beats me to it.
"Hello, Chakotay. I have missed you so much."
That throaty voice. Yes there are times a man has to admit that he's been wrong. And I am happy to say that thinking I could move on was one of them.
"Hello, Kathryn. I've missed you too.”
End