PAYBACK
rated NC17
By Sheri
Chakotay closed his eyes and titled his head back, allowing the sunlight to dance across his face. A smile crept across his face, the first one in a long time, but there was no one with him to notice. He sighed then looked back towards the transporter station that loomed just a few feet in front of him. The feeling welled up in him again, deep in his belly, swirling around as if it was as in much turmoil as his heart. He needed to do this, needed to find peace within himself and he knew at this moment only one person could help him.
He wondered briefly if he was ready for this, whether his heart could take it or crumble to pieces the moment he heard the words, "I don't love you, Chakotay." Those words had been playing in his mind, a mantra, over and over, nearly driving him to the brink of insanity.
His memories turned to a time, a few months back, when they first had set foot on Earth. The smile Kathryn had worn on her face had been enough to make him melt.** It was in that moment that it all came back to him. His heart began to beat just a bit faster and he felt as if he were floating on air. How could he forget? How could he think that he could move on? He knew in that instant that he couldn't, that Kathryn Janeway would be in his heart forever.
Despite the overwhelming feeling of joy he felt, he hid it as usual. They parted after the debriefings, both anxious to see their familes with promises that they would soon see each other again.
He went home to Dorvan to visit with his sister, catching up on all that had happened during their far-to long separation. It was wonderful being with her again; he had almost forgotten how she could light up a room.
He didn't want to leave her but he knew she would be all right. Chataya had a family on Dorvan; she didn’t need her big brother any more. She promised she would come to see him soon on Earth and he promised her the same. They parted with a hug when Chakotay headed back to Earth to what? Nothing?
Chakotay heard the news as soon as he set foot on earth. B'Elanna met him, bringing him to their house to stay for a while. "So, have you heard about Admiral Janeway?"
"Admiral?" asked Chakotay.
"Wow, you did miss a lot. She got that promotion, about a week after the debriefings ended," explained B'Elanna.
"No, I guess I did miss out," said Chakotay.
"That’s not all, Chakotay. Remember that fiancé of hers? Mark?"
Seeing Chakotay nod she continued, "Well, it seems they are living together, have been since…. Well, since about the same time she was promoted," said B'Elanna with a bit of sarcasm.
"I thought he was married?" said Chakotay.
"So did we. I guess we were wrong. Either that, or the wife was thrown out the minute Janeway stepped foot on Earth," said B'Elanna. "Sad really, now she's a home wrecker."
"B'Elanna," protested Chakotay.
"Hey, don’t yell at me. It's possible that they didn't shove the wife out at all. Maybe they all enjoy the company of three," said B'Elanna with a hint of a laugh.
"B'Elanna," said Chakotay in a much softer, almost dangerous tone. "We don't have any right to speculate. If she wants to be with Mark, then so be it."
His tone and words ended that part of the conversation abruptly. Chakotay now only wished that he could take his own advice and truthfully not speculate or care.
That’s what had brought him here, standing in front of the transporter pad, ready to transport to the home of one Kathryn Janeway and one Mark Johnson. He hoped against hope that if he saw it for himself that it would allow him to let go and move on past the gut wrenching feelings of loving the unattainable.
Chakotay stepped on the transporter pad, handed the coordinates to the technician and felt his molecules scatter as he was whisked away towards Kathryn.Moments later he materialized less than a mile from her house. He took a deep breath and set out, her house looming in the distance. He could see it now, a large house at the top of a hill, off from everyone else's.
A few minutes later he arrived. He paused with his hand just inches from the old fashioned door bell., Should he be doing this?
His subconscious worked against him and he found himself ringing the bell before he had a chance to stop himself. He could hear footsteps moving closer, getting louder and he felt uncertainty rise in him once again.
His mind screamed run, you don’t want to do this, find resolution within yourself, not this way but before he had a chance the door was opened by the man whose face he knew so well from the small picture on Kathryn's desk.
The man seemed to recognize him right away and extended a hand. "Chakotay isn't it?" asked the man.
Chakotay shook his hand despite himself and forced a smile, "Yes, and you are Mark, am I correct?"
"Yes, I see you've heard of me," said Mark with a smile.
"Yes, nothing but good. It's good to finally meet you," said Chakotay awkwardly.
"Well, come on in. Kathryn will be thrilled to see you," said Mark, opening the door and moving aside. Chakotay stepped passed him, noticing right away the homey décor; it was no wonder Kathryn was so happy here.
"Kathryn, honey, you have company," called Mark as he escorted Chakotay towards the living room.
Chakotay heard the husky voice call back and noticed his heart skip a bit, "I'll be right out."
Mark motioned for Chakotay to sit and offered him a drink. Chakotay nervously sat on the couch, taking the drink despite the fact that he felt he couldn't take a sip without it coming back up. What was he doing here? Did he like to torture himself?'
Kathryn came down the steps, bringing a smile to Chakotay's face at the sight of her. Tight blue jeans, a casual long sleeve top and hair in a ponytail at the top of her head made her look positively cute.
A smile lit her face when she saw who her guest was. "Chakotay! Have I missed you! I wondered when you were going to get back," she said as she approached him, pulled him to his feet and enveloped him in a hug.
He was shocked to say the least yet eagerly returned the hug, something he realized he never had the pleasure of doing before this moment. He treasured how she felt in his arms, knowing he may never feel it again. It was something to fuel his fantasies for years to come.
Kathryn pulled back, yet kept her hands on his arms. "You look wonderful. I take it Dorvan did you good." She motioned for him to sit, and surprised him by taking a seat on the couch next to him.
"It did. My sister was a delight, like she always is. I'd almost forgotten how bouncy she is," said Chakotay.
Kathryn let out a throaty laugh, "I can't wait to hear all about it. You met Mark then?" she said, motioning towards the other man standing silently in the room.
"Yes," he said, offering nothing more.
"James should be home shortly," said Kathryn with a hint of amusement.
"James?" asked Chakotay.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Chakotay. James is Mark's lover, and … well, life partner, for lack of a better word."
Chakotay gulped. This wasn't what he was expecting., "And you are…?"
"Me?" asked Kathryn, a bit mystified. "I am just their housemate.
"Don't tell me, some still believe that I am his lover, right?" she shook her head. "Oh brother."
Chakotay wasn't sure what to say. "To be honest, Kathryn, you never told me that he was… that Mark was…"
"Gay…" began Mark. "Well, she sometimes leaves that part out. It's not a secret but since Kathryn and I were such an item before, it tends to be forgotten."
"Sorry," she said once again. "I guess it's something that you don't bring up in every day conversations. Many didn't understand our relationship. They couldn't comprehend how a Starfleet Captain could fall in love with a bi-sexual man but I didn't need them to understand. I loved him., You don't question what your heart tells you."
Chakotay just sat and listened, his head spinning with what that he had just learned.
"I wasn't with men while I was with Kathryn, although James and I were good friends. After she was confirmed lost, possibly dead, I turned to James for comfort and the rest, as they say, is history."
Chakotay shook his head, "I guess there isn't anything wrong with it really. It just surprises me."
"Well, we can talk more later. Kathryn, I'm going to run into town and get corn on the cob for dinner. Chakotay, you are staying aren't you?" asked Mark.
Chakotay looked at Kathryn; seeing her smile, he turned to Mark, "Of course."
Kathryn showed Chakotay around the house. In the back yard she had the beginnings of a garden. She seemed so animated, carefree, as if the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders, the weight of a lost starship at least.
Chakotay began to see hope, off in the distance, that seemed to grow closer and closer as every minute passed. Through the whole tour, Kathryn touched him, his arm, his chest, lying a hand gently on his back as she guided him around. His whole body tingled with every touch, a feeling he was beginning to treasure.
Kathryn stopped for a moment to pick a few weeds, cursing their little roots as she pulled each one out. She smiled at him as she stood up, a smile that lit up her face and reached her eyes, a smile that belonged only to Kathryn.
"I see James inside the house," she said. "Are you ready to meet him?"
"Sure, why not," said Chakotay.
They walked back into the house. "James," called Kathryn.
"Yes, dearest," he called back as he moved into the kitchen. "Well, well, well, now who is this?"
Kathryn laughed, "James, this is my friend Chakotay."
"Oh, your First Officer," he said. "You weren't kidding when you said he was good looking."
Kathryn blushed, rolling her eyes. "Only you…" she began.
James interrupted, " where is my one and only? You two didn't scare him off did you?"
"He went to get vegetables for dinner," she explained.
"I see something tasty right here," said James, strictly because he knew it would get a reaction out of the other two.
Kathryn escorted a shocked Chakotay back out of the room, hoping indeed, that James would not scare Chakotay off. "Really, he is rather nice."
"He doesn't bother me, Kathryn. I don't really see how he and Mark go together, but he doesn't bother me," said Chakotay.
"Well, you don't really know Mark. I know he looks a little stuffy but once you get to know him he really lets go. Besides," said Kathryn, "James compliments Mark. They're good together."
Chakotay paused, looking first around the house then at Kathryn. "They compliment you, too," said Chakotay. "It's nice seeing you like this."
"It's nice to be like this," said Kathryn wistfully. "I may now carry the rank of Admiral but I got the promotion more simply to add to the glory of Voyager getting home."
"It has to be more than that. You earned that promotion," said Chakotay.
"Oh, maybe. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. Honestly, I'm still am not sure," she explained. "I know I don't want to go back into space, at least not right now. This seemed like the next best thing. Admirals don't go flying off into space, they sit there behind a desk giving orders."
"You sure do that well," said Chakotay, flashing her his dimples.
"Oh, that I do," said Kathryn. "Mark came to see me right away. He wanted to be sure that I was okay with him and James. Although I didn't feel I really had a say in it, it was nice that he asked for my approval.
"Then after being with my Mom for a month, I was about to go crazy. I hadn't looked for a place, and the house I formerly owned had been sold to a young family," explained Kathryn. "I began to look for a place, an apartment, anything. Even though I was looking for my own place, i told Mark that the thought of being alone frightened me. Silly I know."
"No, not at all," said Chakotay. "I actually feel the same way, I hate my apartment. It's way too quiet."
"Well, it's sure not quiet around here. Well at least half the time it isn't. Mark suggested this. It seems he and James had been talking since I returned about inviting me to stay here for a while. The offer came at the right time and seemed perfect, well, almost perfect."
"Problems?" asked Chakotay.
"No, not really. It's just that those two are…how can I say this? They aren't too quiet at night," she said with a grin.
"I heard that," came a voice from behind them.
Kathryn turned to see Mark's grin. "Well, am I lying?"
"Now, Kathryn," began Mark. "It may have been a while but I do remember that you…"
Kathryn laughed and put her finger to his mouth. "I think we could keep that part quiet for now, can't we, Mark?"
Chakotay just stood back watching the spectacle in front of them. For the longest time he had seen Mark as a threat, as something that loomed in front of him and prevented him from obtaining his goal.
Now he could see that Mark was no longer a threat. He may even be an ally. He certainly was someone that Kathryn could relax around and with what he could see, having Kathryn relaxed was quite a treat.
It almost saddened him that the rest of Voyager's former crew had never had a chance to know this side of her. It brought a smile to his face that he could see her so happy and relaxed and he began to wonder if he could see more.
They ate, chatting the entire time about Kathryn and Chakotay's adventures in the Delta Quadrant. They, of course, were thoroughly questioned about their stay on New Earth. In the end they had no choice but give an almost word for word documentation about everything they had done.
In the late hours of the evening Mark and James finally went to bed leaving Kathryn and Chakotay alone in an awkward silence. Chakotay leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes briefly. The emotional turmoil of the day had exhausted him and despite the fact that he was fighting sleep, it seemed to do no good. He felt himself drifting off.
He was awakened by a pair of lips, gently nuzzling his own. He unconsciously returned the kiss, his lips parting, and tongue darting out to find its counterpart. He moaned in the mouth, bringing himself awake. "Kathryn?"
"Do you know how many times I've wanted to do that?" she said softly, a hint of amusement in her voice.
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist, hoisting her into his lap. "And do you know how many times I wanted to do this?" he asked, pulling her tight against him, letting her feel his growing arousal.
"Stay with me tonight?" she asked, hoping the answer would be the one she had always dreamed of.
"You couldn't force me to leave," he answered in a soft voice.
He pushed her up to her knees, hands moving to the fasteners on her pants, looking at her questioningly to make sure no objection would escape her lips. When he found none he continued, slowly inching off her pants then moving to her panties, helping her rise momentarily to remove them completely before returning her to her knees. He slowly inched them over her hips, his eyes taking in every inch of her skin as he slowly revealed it.
He could smell her arousal and brought one finger to her wet sex, dipping within the folds, circling her aching clit then moving towards her dripping center. He felt her shudder as his finger moved within her, finding her hidden spot, already swollen with arousal and made soft circles around it. At the same time his thumb moved up to her clit and circled that with the same motion. He occasionally applied pressure but never stopped the motion.
He could feel it; she was close so he quickly undid his pants, continuing to stimulate her as he freed his aching erection. What started off as soft whimpers from Kathryn was quickly turning into loud moans as she spiraled up towards her climax.
She came fiercely, drenching both of them as her fluids gushed out. Kathryn fell forward as her knees gave out and she barely felt Chakotay maneuver her onto his awaiting erection.
She sighed as she felt him fill her completely, and then let out a shriek as she also felt him rise to his feet, moving off the couch. She held tight as he steadied himself on his feet. He kicked his pants out of the way then continued towards her bedroom with slow, careful steps.
For Kathryn, it was a ride she wouldn't soon forget, each step he took, he brushed against her aching bundle of nerves. Mini climaxes shot through her as her nails dug into his back. She wasn't going to survive the rest of the trip to the bedroom. "Please Chakotay, I can't…"
"Yes you can," he whispered to her as he turned into the bedroom.
He stooped, bending slightly at the knees as he reached the bed and dropped her top half, keeping a tight grip on the rest of her body. He never lost contact. One leg moved to the bed, the other stayed on the floor and he slowly moved within her, pistoning in and out her lubricated channel.
Kathryn tried to keep up but the orgasms had turned her entire body to jelly. She could only lie there and allow Chakotay to do as he pleased as he continued to pump within her, bringing her to yet another mind blowing orgasm.
The onset of her next orgasm is what finally cost Chakotay his control he had maintained as her walls gripped him tightly. With a groan he shot his seed deep within her, then collapsed, completely spent.
Neither of them remembered anything after that as they drifted off to sleep.
=^=
Chakotay awoke to find himself alone in bed. He pouted slightly, wishing he could have awakened with Kathryn still in his arms. His heart clenched as he saw his clothes folded on a chair beside the bed, as if telling him to get up, get dressed and get out.
He didn't know where the melancholy mood had come from; perhaps it had been with him for far too long and had become second nature to him now.
With a sigh or resignation he got up and got dressed then moved to the door. He reluctantly opened it and started down the hall. He could see Kathryn leaning into Mark, a cup of coffee in her hand and Mark's arms firmly around her waist. His heart tightened even more.
"Good morning," said Mark, "Want some coffee?" he asked.
"Sure," he said as he watched Kathryn move from Mark.
He didn't even register that she was coming closer until she was already in his arms. "Sorry about this morning but I just can't seem to break my early morning habit and you just looked so peaceful. I couldn't bear to wake you," she said before placing a soft kiss on his lips.
He could taste the coffee on her and it brought a smile, he had always imagined her tasting like coffee. "It's okay, Kathryn. I guess I've been the opposite. I've taken to sleeping in at times. Besides, I had good reason to be exhausted."
"No kidding! You two made it rather difficult to sleep, you know," said Mark handing Chakotay his coffee.
Kathryn swatted Mark. "Payback is a bitch!" she said with a laugh.
Mark pulled Kathryn into his arms and away from Chakotay, "And this time I'm glad that I got paid back."
Chakotay smiled at the two then reached back for Kathryn, pulling her into his arms, "don' worry Mark, I think we'll pay you back plenty," he said with a smile.
Kathryn turned to face him, rose to her tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, "and loving every minute of it."
End