Protocol!?!? Kathryn’s POV
by sheri
Kathryn Janeway sat in the center seat on the bridge griping onto her armrest. 'This is not happening'. She had called Chakotay to the bridge, he said he was on his way. When he didn't arrive she asked the computer for his location, "Commander Chakotay is not on board Voyager." was the computers reply.
After drilling the computer for every possible reason for his disappearance and finding none, she sat in her seat staring out at the view screen. 'This is not how this ends. I will find him, I won't give up'. "Tuvok, you have the bridge, I'll be in my ready room. " She had to get out of there.
*****
Maybe I should have said something, Maybe I shouldn't have held onto Mark so long. She knew why she did, fear. Oh, she did love mark; he was everything for a long time, her savior. He helped pull her out of those depths after Justin’s and Daddy's death along with her sister, and when he pulled, she grabbed on and held. She thought about her past relationships, there wasn't many of them. She dated a few that never went anywhere. There was Cheb, oh; he just broke her heart. Justin, intense, the first time she really felt truly in love, but due to his death, the relationship was short. Then Mark, loving, tender, but not really imaginative. He loved to cuddle, to hold her hand, he was great at romance but sex left something to be desired.
So when Chakotay began to show interest she pushed him away, using Mark as an excuse. She had heard Seska talk, the things Chakotay liked to do...god that was not Kathryn, and she would never.... No, well maybe. Yes she wondered how much of it was true, she later discovered everything about seska was a lie. But...
Then she received Marks letter. She cried, oh how she cried. Tears of sadness because of losing him, having to let go. But also tears of joy, she could let go. Once her tears dried up she had made up her mind she had a way of telling Chakotay without breaking protocol, leaving it open to him to make that move.
So she did, 'no safety net anymore Chakotay' he smiled and escorted her to the party. A great friendship was reborn, but it went no further. He saw a few other women, seemed to show her a hint of regret but never once tried, an occasional hug goodnight, ' wasn't it supposed to be a kiss?'
She grew bitter, she tried not to, but she couldn't help it. She pushed him away, veering away from that friendship. It was wrong, she didn't want to lose that but god was it painful. Maybe he never felt anything like that, maybe New Earth was simply because she was the only one there. "Stop it Kathryn, you don't need those thoughts again," it was those ugly thoughts that convinced her before, "not anymore." If he comes back, no, when he comes back, you will except his friendship once again, and be happy with only that, because it's better than nothing.
*****
And he did come back, She couldn't believe it! She ran to greet him, but at last minute stopped, chickened out. All those what ifs crept up to haunt her? So she greeted him nicely, listened to a brief explanation as to where he had been, asked for a report in the morning, and sent him to sick bay.
'Stupid Kathryn, you almost blew it. If he were interested, he would’ve let you know by now.
She headed back to her quarters, she needed some sleep.
*******
She knew she wasn’t going to be able to sleep, but she would at least try. She had been trying for the past 2 hours. She heard the sounds coming from the quarters next to hers and knew he was having trouble sleeping too. She smoothed her hands over the peach satin nightie she wore, mark gave it to her, why she still had it, she didn’t know. “It’s not like you have anyone else to wear it for Kathryn” she said to her self. “Oh this has to stop, you have been feeling sorry for yourself for far too long. You chose this career; you have to live with it. You excepted the rules for what they were, and there is nothing you can do about it. YOU…” the door chime stopped her rant.
“Who could it be at this hour?” she asked herself as she grabbed her robe.
The door opened to reveal Chakotay. “Kathryn, all this time, I, well, ....”
“Chakotay, what is wrong?” he looked frantic, and she was suddenly concerned.
He suddenly realized exactly what she was wearing, spirits, she was beautiful. Everything up until now had been on impulse with his new found knowledge, so why stop now. He reached his hand behind her back and pulled her close. Then slowly, their lips met, tentative at first, but then much more demanding.
Kathryn was in heaven, that is the only way to describe it, pure heaven. She wanted it to continue but needed to know why he changed his mind. “Chakotay, why the sudden change?”
He looked at her hesitantly, “Well I know you were expecting a report in the morning as to what I learned but I just couldn’t wait, I decided to tell you now.”
“And just what did you learn?” she asked.
He flashed his dimples at her. “ Didn’t I just tell you?”
She blinked, what did she miss. “No I don’t remember you telling me anything.”
“Hmmm, I guess I need to repeat myself then.” And without pause he once again grabbed her, this time backing her into the couch as he kissed her passionately. He stopped and she fell to the couch. He pulled her down and he laid ontop of her and continued his assault. He wasted no time divesting her of her clothing then pulled away to look at her, “so beautiful” he whispered as he lay back down.
Kathryn was in shock, up until 5 minutes ago she was feeling sorry for herself, now her most wonderful fantasies were coming true. She almost wanted to pinch herself to see if she was dreaming, but she quickly decided if she was dreaming she didn’t want to wake up! She realized she was feeling a breeze, and took a moment to look at herself, she was naked. Now how did he manage that?
“Problems Kathryn?” he chuckled.
“Well I seem to be underdressed, and umm, you seem to be a little overdressed.”
“I guess we should remedy that," he answered pulling away from her long enough to rid himself of his clothing. He paused before he lay down, noticing Kathryn’s shy glance.
When she realized he stopped for her to look, she turned away, embarrassed. “Hey, it’s ok, believe me I’m getting my eyeful.”
She smiled and slowly looked up, god he was beautiful, better than she had imagined. He was more real. Strong arms, one of her small hands wouldn’t make it around his biceps. His golden skin, such a contrast to hers, his chest had only a few hairs, perfect. Her eyes widened as they made it to his hard member, my god that was hidden well under that uniform!
He leaned back down and captured her mouth with his, his tongue made its way past her lips and began exploring. She couldn’t help the feelings overcoming her, her hips began rocking against his, she was ready, and she didn’t want to wait. “Please” she was begging.
“Patience, Kathryn, I’m going to take my time with you.” He answered. He began placing kissed all over, her face, her neck and he continued to move lower. Worshiping her. He stopped at her breasts, and gave each of them appropriate treatment. When he took her nipple into his mouth, she let out a throat moan, “gods Chakotay.”
He continued his path, down her belly, placing kisses all the way. He stopped at the juncture between her legs, her hands immediately went to his head, and stopping him “what are you doing?” she asked mortified.
“I think you know what I am doing Kathryn, enjoying myself” and with that he continued his assault.
“Chakotay, no one has ever, well, they haven’t...” she just couldn’t say it.
“Well this should be a treat,” he said proudly, “lay back and enjoy.”
“OOHH…” was the last coherent word that came out as she let herself fall into sweet oblivion. The sensations he was creating were ones that she wasn’t entirely familiar with. Yes mark had been an ample lover, but not creative. Chakotay was giving new meaning to the word creative.
It only took a few minutes of the delicious torture before she exploded against his mouth. “Oh my…” she was having difficulty catching her breath. She opened her eyes only to be greeted by his eyes; he was now on top of her.
“I need to be inside of you, now,” he demanded.
Still on the high from her orgasm, she simply nodded. He entered her in one swift move, then quickly realized that must have hurt, looking at his face it was obviously painful for her, so he kept still allowing her time to adjust. “Sorry” he whispered.
“OOH… I’ m…don’t stop.” Kathryn was having trouble forming words, she didn’t know an orgasm could feel like that, and now with each thrust, she was on the verge of another more powerful one. “Chak…” was all that she got out, she exploded, taking him right with her.
He collapsed onto her, trying to catch his breath. Realizing she was holding his full weight, he expertly flipped them so she was on top.
“Gods, Chakotay. I think I like these reports much better than the written ones,” she chuckled.
He gave her his full dimples, “And I promise, I will read every page of protocol.”
“And are you trying to tell me, you didn’t before?”
“Kathryn, I’ve read the basics, but I think I obviously missed something!”
She couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing, “Yeah, I guess you did.”
End