THREADS
By Sheri
Rated R
Kathryn slowly opened her eyes taking in
her surroundings. It seemed she was still in her quarters; the room looked
the same yet nothing looked right.
She remembered walking into her quarters; she had been angry. Once again she and Chakotay had gotten into a disagreement, 'god what was this one about?' it seemed they argued about everything lately. Captain and Commander were all that were said, did Kathryn and Chakotay exist anymore? She finally dismissed him, and left herself, leaving Chakotay on the bridge.
Kathryn entered her quarters; she remembered the door closing behind her, then nothing as her world went dark.
~~~~~~~~~
She tried to sit up, wincing slightly from the pain in her head. Yes, this definitely was the Captain’s quarters, but they sure weren’t her quarters. The decorations were quite sparse and the color was different. Or could have décor be different
She started to stand up, but heard a noise and found herself instinctively ducking back down. She looked towards the far corner and that’s when she saw a woman huddled next to the couch, covered by a blanket. After carefully eyeing the rest of the room, she made her way over to the woman speaking in hushed tones. The woman did not acknowledge her presence but just continued quietly crying in the corner. The woman shifted slightly, leaning her head against the wall. What she saw caused Kathryn to gasp. She was looking at herself, only she was secured in the corner with chains fastened to her feet.
Kathryn ran to her counterpart, knelt down and reached out to touch her but found her hand passed right through the other Janeway. She didn’t have time to react before the doors opened; someone was coming, so Kathryn quickly reclaimed her earlier hiding spot.
It was Chakotay at least the man resembled him, but it definitely wasn’t her Chakotay. This man was in Maquis gear and the tattoo on his forehead trailed down his cheek. He didn’t acknowledge the Kathryn in the corner, but just went into the bedroom where he stayed for a short time. Soon he came back out wearing nothing and walked right up to the corner. He ripped off the blanket unlocked the chains before dragging the other Kathryn to the nearest table.
No words were spoken; he shoved her down
and began removing his pants.
The last thing Kathryn heard or saw before
the darkness once again engulfed her was the Maquis Chakotay positioning
himself behind other Kathryn, and her painful cries echoing in her ears
as he thrust into her.
~~~~~~~~
Kathryn once again awoke, this time on the bridge. She stood up and faced the crew but realized no one could see her just as before. She walked up to Chakotay who was sitting in the Captain’s chair, “Chakotay, can you hear me?” She got no Reponses.
“Captain, a Borg vessel is approaching. Its signature is the same, it’s hers!” yelled Harry Kim from his station.
“Damn, Kathryn, give it up,” muttered Chakotay. “Shields up, bring the new weapon online, Tuvok.”
‘Chakotay iswas the Captain. What the hell?’ thought Kathryn.
“Aye, sir,” was Tuvok’s response.
“Sir, we’re being hailed.”
Kathryn noticed Chakotay’s pained look, “on screen.” The screen flickered and Kathryn gasped. Chakotay spoke with a cool tune, “Hello, Kathryn. It’s been a while.”
“Captain, Chakotay, you will surrender your vessel,” ordered the Borgified Janeway. “Resistance is futile you will be assimilated.”
“Now Kathryn, I wouldn’t be so hasty here. We’ve been busy since we last saw you. Why don’t you surrender so we can help you?” Chakotay tried his best to convince her.
“I don’t need any assistance, Captain, you will see perfection after you surrender.”
Chakotay shook his head, “I’ll give you one more chance, Kathryn, then I will fire.” She answered with a tractor beam. “Shit, all right, Tuvok. Fire!” he ordered.
Kathryn watched in horror as the Borg vessel containing her other self blew into a million pieces. She also saw Captain Chakotay sink into his seat tears pouring from his eyes and whispering, “I’m so sorry, Kathryn.”
She moved to comfort him, but once again blacked out.
~~~~~~~~~~
She awoke this time in her own quarters; at least they looked much the same as her own. She almost thought she was finally home, but soon the doors opened and another Janeway walked in. The other Janeway stripped off her jacket, replicated a cup of coffee and headed for her desk. Sitting down, she flipped open her computer and activated the screen.
Kathryn crept closer; she knew by now they couldn’t see her, but she also couldn’t help trying to go unnoticed. The other Janeway was crying now, so Kathryn looked over to the screen to see what upset her. It was a picture of Chakotay.
“I miss you so much; I wish I knew if you were ok.” The other Janeway spoke, “Do you forgive me for leaving you there; I know you understood but…” she closed the screen and quickly got up, “ I need a bath,” she mumbled.
Kathryn watched as her double sank into the bathtub, tears still in her eyes. "Why didn't I help you, I could have, I know this now. I should have done something, anything. But no, once again I stuck to my principals, and sacrificed a wonderful man. Oh Chakotay, could you ever forgive me? Could I ever forgive me?"
Kathryn didn’t need any other explanation. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like living day to day without Chakotay.
She saw the familiar blackness coming and accepted it willingly not wanting to see this Janeway’s misery anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~
Kathryn awoke once again, this time the quarters were huge. She got up off the floor and looked around, spotting the other Janeway sprawled on the couch. She gasped at the sight; the other Janeway was obviously quite pregnant, she had her hand on her belly, rubbing it in slow circles. "It won't be long little one, me and daddy are so excited to meet you. Do you know just how much you will be loved?"
Chakotay strolled into the quarters, two identical girls in tow. Both girls broke away from their father and ran up to the couch shouting, “Mommy, Mommy can we go to the holodeck? Please? Uncle Tom said we could play Flotter.”
Janeway slowly sat up, “You just got home from school. I don’t think so," she said, trying not to crack a grin.
“But, Mom, please?” the girls said in unison.
“No! There are some things I need you to do for mommy first,” she said.
The little girls looked at their mom, both looking a little sad, "what mommy?'
She wanted to drag it out longer, but couldn't resist their sweet little faces, "I need you two to make sure uncle Tommy doesn't get in trouble this time."
The two girls laughed, remembering when Uncle Tommy helped Flotter flood the forest, mommy had said she had did the same thing, but that was a secret, they couldn't tell uncle Tommy, "don't worry mommy, we'll keep an eye on him."
"Alright, now give mommy a hug, and go change out of your school clothes."
The two girls obeyed both wrapping their arms around their mom's huge belly before running off to their room.
The door chime rang, "Shit, now who?" Kathryn mumbled, clearly not in the greatest of moods.
Chakotay stepped in, “Kathryn, are you all right? That’s probably just Tom."
Janeway sighed, “I’m sorry. I just don’t feel well; my back really hurts"
Chakotay let Tom in then made sure the girls were ready, "Ok girls, it's time to go. Listen Tom, could you take them back to your quarters when your done?"
"Sure thing Chakotay, something wrong?"
"I'm taking Kathryn to sickbay," He simply explained.
“Chakotay, I’m fine.”
“Last time you sat here like this all day and that back pain was really labor. Please, love, for me?”
“All right, for you.” She said kissing him as he leaned close to her.
Kathryn sat back watching the spectacle. She could have had that -- love, a family -- all of it. But instead she had stuck to her principles and the ideas that Starfleet ingrained in her; now she lived by those principles. All she had was a friendship hanging by a thread that was ready to snap.
“Very good, Kathy, I wondered if you would catch on.”
“Q, you’re behind all of this?”
“Of course Kathy. I’ve been watching you, and I noticed just how much you take for granted. You look at your life and you don’t see what you have. I decided to show you a few different views of other Kathryn Janeway’s, some who were lucky, some who weren’t.”
“Q, what gives you the right to…”
“Kathy, I’m omnipotent; I can do what I want.”
“Q, some of what I saw, … you had no right to do that to those people.”
“Kathy, I did not do that, I just showed them to you. What you saw were threads that have broken off from your very own universe. Simple decisions that you or Chuckles made that could have gone many different directions. What you experienced were diverse universes based on decisions one of you made at some time or another.”
“Q, I think you better explain yourself. Some of what I saw…”
“Of course, Kathy. Just sit back and relax while I explain what you’ve seen. Now in that first thread, Chuckles did not break it off with Seska. I rather liked Seska; she reminds me of the old ball and chain. Now where was I? The Seska in that particular thread got pregnant and poor old Chuckles was thrilled. That is until the baby was born and Seska’s true background was revealed. Chuckles did not take her subterfuge very well at all. In fact, he completely collapsed. You were not the least bit sympathetic about Seska’s lies. You may as well have laughed in his face when you pointed out that was the reason you would not become involved with a member or your crew. You were quite heartless, Kathy. Poor Chuckles turned into a different person after that. It didn’t take much for a few disgruntled comments from the Maquis to convince him a mutiny was in the best interest of everyone. Funny thing was, Kathryn, not even Tuvok put up more than a token protest and he is still chief of security so you can imagine how small that token was.
Kathryn was in shock. How could she do such a thing? “Now for thread number two, you thought you could negotiate with the Borg. Did you see just how lucky you were? Ok, here it worked out, but in that thread it did not. You obviously did not make it back to Voyager. You were immediately assimilated and then did your best to try to get the rest of your crew assimilated. Poor Kathryn; it didn’t work. Your crew finally found a way to destroy you.”
“What about the third one? What happened to Chakotay?”
“Ahh! Curious are you? Well, in the third thread only Chuckles was infected with the virus on, what did you call it? New Earth, yes. Well, he decided to stay there alone. Your principles would not allow you to contact the Vidian’s for help, so you abandoned him.”
“Did Chakotay survive on New Earth? Couldn’t she still go back and do something?”
“Oh, now that’s the really sad part; that Kathryn will go back eventually. But she will find that he did not survive. Poor Chuckles tried to climb a mountain and fell. With no one there to help him, he laid their, in pain. He was only a few meters away from the river, where he could get water, and maybe food, but his injuries were too severe. He eventually died of starvation."
“Oh, god, how horrible.” Kathryn felt as if she would throw up.
“Then there was the fourth thread. Now that one was special. In that thread Voyager arrives back at New Earth two weeks later than it did here with you. In that two-week time you were able to find out just how wonderful it would be to finally let go of your principals and love that poor man. When you were rescued, you did not turn your back on the love you found, and the two of you were married before you resumed command. The rest is obvious; you were happy, although very grumpy in the last stages of pregnancy. And here I thought my little woman was a pain.”
Kathryn just sat on the couch doing her best to fight the tears. She thought about all she had said and done over the years and all the mistakes she had made. It was just too much to take in all at once. All the things she said, and did, the harsh words, or the subsequent dismissals. It wasn’t right, how could she be so cruel?
“I’m trying to show you just how lucky you are; you take for granted. I’ll be going now I think you have enough to think about without me bothering you further.”
Kathryn just nodded as Q blinked out of existence.
~~~~~~~~~
Chakotay groaned as he got out of bed, “whatever they want, it had better be good,” he muttered softly. He opened the door to find Kathryn standing there with tears glistening in her eyes.
“Captain? What happened? Are you ok?”
She just shook her head. He led her in, and over to the couch, “Chakotay, I’m so stupid! I can’t believe how stupid I have been.”
“Captain?”
“Please, Chakotay, call me Kathryn. I need to hear that from you.”
“All right Kathryn. Now tell me what is wrong?"
"I … I guess you could say Q put a few things into perspective for me. He has started me thinking quite a bit."
"Q? Really? Thinking about what?" he asked.
"Well, I guess he made me realize how lucky I am. So manythings in my life could have gone so differently. I have done nothing but take all the good things for granted. I'm going to stop and I’m going to start with you."
"Kathryn? That makes no sense whatsoever"
Kathryn wasted no time explaining; she leaned toward him and placed her lips gently to his. The kiss was light but it would let him know that she indeed wanted more. After she pulled away, he smiled before joining his lips with hers once again; he needed no more answers. He now knew that his life was complete.
End